Title: Ashes To Ashes    (**Winner of the Shades of Grey Best in Drama Award**)

Sequel to ‘Into The Fires’ – Please note that parts of this may seem confusing if you’ve not read the prequel.

Author: Gillian Silverlight

Distribution: My site, those that already have permission to post my fic, all others please ask. (If you post my fic. Please do not rearrange the sentence groupings. It can alter the flow of the story. Thanks.)

 

Disclaimer: They belong to Joss and the WB, UPN, FX; just about everybody except me. I just play with them.

 

Summary: Sequel to ‘Into The Fires’; The Council learns about Buffy. The Council wants a new Slayer so they can use Buffy for experiments once more, but the new Slayer is not someone they’d ever expect. Giles and Angel have to help Buffy with Willow’s rampaging grief, and Spike gets much more than he bargained for.

Who put them all in that hand basket and why is it so hot?

 

Rating: NC-17

 

Lyrics: ‘A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes’ By Disney, ‘The Sun Ain’t Gonna Shine Anymore’ cover By Cher; ‘Tyre Tracks and Broken Hearts’ By Bonnie Tyler; ‘Violent’, ‘Thrown To The Wolves’ By Four Star Mary (aka Dingos Ate My Baby); 'It’s Over, It’s Under’ by Dollshead; “Everything Is Holy’ By Jill Phillips; ‘Jabberwocky’ By Lewis Carroll; ‘Goodbye To You’, ‘Here With Me’ By Michelle Branch; ‘Prayer of St. Frances’, ‘Do What You Have To Do’, ‘Hold On’ by Sarah McLachlan; ‘Beauty and the Beast’, ‘Twisted’, ‘Crystal’ By Stevie Nicks; ‘Lost In The Shadows’ By Lou Gramm; 'In Walks The Night’ By Heart;

 

Author’s Note: The timeline in each location may not all correspond continually, but will mesh ultimately. Events from the shows cross this fictional plot line, but the plot is NOT confined to only the events of the shows.

Then the interesting thing happened. This was started way before the end of Season 6, I have all my notes for the entire trilogy here and now as I follow my notes, the spoilers are following my previous line of thought instead of the other way around. This is NOT based on spoilers.

 

Dedication: To Patti for being such a wonderful beta reader and always being encouraging. To Meredith for her unflagging encouragement both personal and in my writing. To my sister Dyane Windshadow, for being my eternal sounding board when I’m stuck.

And to each and every one of the folks who sent me the wonderful feedback about ‘Into The Fires’, every one of them with that annoying comment about a sequel! <Just kidding guys. I love that you love what I write.

**AND, a special thanks to the wonderful people who returned copies they were proofing or beta-ing for me when my computer decided to ‘eat’ my only copy of this fiction! They are wonderful and I don’t even have words to express how fantastic they are for responding so quickly in my state of panic!

 

 

Part Two - Ashes To Ashes

 

 

 

‘A dream is a wish your heart makes

When you're fast asleep

In dreams you lose your heartaches

Whatever you wish for, you keep

 

Have faith in your dreams and someday

Your rainbow will come smiling thru

No matter how your heart is grieving

If you keep on believing

The dream that you wish will come true’

 

 

‘And I don't give a damn about a life after death,

But I've gotta get some proof that there's a life after birth.

Tyre tracks and broken hearts, that's all we're leaving behind.

It doesn't matter what we lose, it only matters what we're going to find.’

 

 

 

The heavy, wooden desk gleamed softly in the dim light of the room; a single shaft of sunlight slipping through the half pulled deep burgundy draperies.

The only item that marred the vast, empty expanse of well-polished wood was an ornate telephone; gold edged in all the right places to proclaim its worth.

A pleasant low burr sounded in the thick silence of the room from that same telephone. Its owner hated the original shrillness of the instrument and had it modified.

 

“Yes?”

 

“We got it. The rumor is true. She did. Twice.”

 

“So? What of the remainder of the rumor?”

 

“‘S’true also, it seems. What should we do?”

 

“Do nothing yet. There are arrangements to be made first. You’ll be contacted again once they have been carried out. Keep me informed of any changes. Any at all.”

 

“Right. I’ll report as planned then.”

 

The unseen speaker hung up the telephone and walked to the window, hands clasped tight behind his back, staring out into the deep green and gold encroaching dusk. Thoughts congealed into plans and plans into orders to be given. The smile that pulled the thin lips into something like a crescent was one to instill fear instead of lightness, had anyone actually seen it.

 

 

~*~

 

 

“Cordelia! Are you ever going to tell me what happened while you were gone or even where you went?” The brunette seer had been back for several weeks and hadn’t uttered a word to Angel, or anyone else for that matter, as to where she had been or what had transpired. The vampire was ready to crawl out of his skin from irritation at simply not knowing. Then too, Angel thought that her tale might pull him from the despair that had filled him since Connor had been taken away from him. Taken by someone he’d trusted, cared about; but Wes was gone from them now as effectively as if he’d actually died from his injuries.

“Yes. I had planned to tell you, Angel. I just wanted a little more time to research a few points first.” Cordelia actually had quite a bit of research she wanted to do on the subject, but was getting nowhere fast. There just weren’t any books on the subject of vampire or Slayer reproduction, much less vampire-Slayer reproduction or even vampire-vampire reproduction. She was at a dead end for ideas where to look but knew Angel would have more questions than she could begin to answer.

“Cordy, just tell me and maybe I can help you with the research or Fred or Lorne can.” Angel hated being kept out of the loop.

“Okay. Sit down, Angel, and promise to not interrupt me until I’ve finished telling what I know, all right?” Cordelia headed for the sofa, cappuccino in hand.

Angel simply nodded and sat next to her, looking expectantly.

“I was in Sunnydale. Buffy called me and -”

 

“What? Buffy!?”

 

“Angel! I said NO interruptions. If you do, I simply won’t tell you any of it.” Cordelia crossed her arms and set her jaw as she looked at the dark-haired vampire that was her employer and best friend.

“Sorry. You caught me by surprise is all -” Angel tried to explain.

“I don’t care. This is all gonna be a surprise and maybe even a few shocks, but I’m not gonna try and tell you if you interrupt me.”

“Okay, I got it. No interruptions. This is me being quiet.”

“God, for a broody vampire, you certainly do talk too much sometimes.” Cordelia shifted position so she could see his face better. “Buffy has been seeing Spike since she came back… Ahnnnngh!” Cordelia held up a finger and waggled it at Angel as he opened his mouth to protest her words. “I SAID… All right, that’s better.”

Angel closed his mouth and leaned back into the sofa as his hands clenched into the seat fabric on either side of his legs. If he made it through Cordy’s tale, considering the way it was starting, the sofa might not make it.

“Like I said, Buffy has been seeing... actually sleeping with… Spike since she came back. She was worried about what she was really feeling for him and called Giles. Well, he was trying to find information on where Slayers came from and why Buffy seemed to be so different now. She wanted me to come talk to her cause she knew I’d tell her the truth even if she didn’t like it…”

Cordelia explained very bluntly everything she’d learned in Sunnydale. Over the next hour, more than once she was thankful that Angel was a vampire. If he’d actually had circulation, he might have ruptured a blood vessel, if his expression was any indication.

He’d managed to find quite a few more than his usual two or three expressions and none of the new ones were pleasant.

 

 

~*~

 

 

The slim brunette walked slowly into the long tiled room of toilets. She knew she wasn’t suppose to be out of her bunk this late, but that slop they’d fed them and called dinner tonight had upset her stomach.

It was the only other side effect she had to match the slightly puckered, shiny scar across her upper abdomen.

 

She pulled her dark hair over one shoulder and had started to shrug the worn blue coverall down her arms when sections of the deeper shadows of the room separated from their corners and slipped silently toward her from behind.

She was caught at a distinct disadvantage. Her arms effectively pinned by the tough, yet worn, material, herself out of practice, her Slayer senses dulled from disuse and this place. Her reactions weren’t fast enough or else her assailants were faster as they dropped the garrote around her shoulders, totally immobilizing her arms. She knew better than to scream. The guards had worked her over more than once already in the time she’d been a ‘guest’ there. Screaming only made them worse. The woman thought this was simply one more bit of amusement from the guards.

 

A black-gloved hand quickly grabbed the woman under the chin from behind, pulling her head sharply backwards as the other shadow kicked her feet out from under her.

All three bodies fell hard to the cold tile as she struggled; anger and fright rising inside her as she finally understood this couldn’t be the guards.

The second pair of hands, also hidden in dark gloves, held her head while the first pair did something behind her head.

Moments later, she saw the dim light of the room strike a silver-edged gleam from a wickedly long, thick needle. Pain exploded in her nose then her head as the point of the needle was driven home, deep into her brain.

The restrained woman suddenly went limp in the hands of her captors. Slowly, lest they find it a trick, they lowered her to the floor.

“Think she’s done for.”

 

“Yeah. Not much blood either.” The taller shadow nudged the fallen shape with his foot. It lolled slightly to one side then back into position once the shoe withdrew.

“Let’s go. We’re done here.”

The two shadows moved with only a soft shuffle of cloth as they edged down the hallway to the barred doors. A woman in uniform waited in the dark to open the door.

The taller shadow again took the initiative, grabbing her by the throat as he snarled under his breath at her. “We was never here. You never saw a thing. Forget that and we’ll remember where to find you. Understood?”

The guard simply nodded vigorously, wishing they would hurry and leave.

 

She could ‘find’ the woman later in the latrines. Her request for a transfer would be on the warden’s desk first thing in the morning. She hoped the slimy English bastards never managed to find her, but she knew they’d let her think she was safe then come for her.

The guard felt sorry for the woman they’d killed. Oh, she’d been a real hell-raiser when she’d gotten here, but after a while turned out to be pretty likable. I hate it! I really hate it! But they would have killed me and still killed you if I’d argued with them. The thoughts ran through her head the rest of the evening, trying to convince the murdered woman to forgive her. The funny thing was, the guard thought she did.

Several hours later, the guard made her rounds with one of the others.

The second woman was a tall, heavy boned blonde. She used to body build and it showed.

She’d had to be careful with all of the women prisoners… all except one. The slender brunette was stronger than she looked and was the only one Madeline could workout with.

Their lights swept across a dark shape on the floor of the latrine. Madeline headed for the shape and quickly turned it over.

 

The woman’s face was a mottled bluish shade, except for the side that had been against the floor. Blood had settled and marred that side of her face with a livid reddish purple stain. A thin trickle of dried blood edged from one nostril.

“Oh, God! Call the Warden! It’s Faith!”

 

 

~*~

 

Giles eventually convinced the Council to grant him permission to re-arrange and catalogue the massive numbers of books they housed in the multiple libraries after he’d returned to England. Nothing had been said regarding the two small volumes he’d ‘liberated’ previously, yet he knew someone in the Council was aware the books existed and that he had them.

This new arrangement did allow him the opportunity to look for more information to supplement what he’d learned from the diaries of Brendan and Robere. Giles had been diligent in his search through any likely volume, but had only managed to glean the occasional tidbit or stray reference to some unknown or missing text.

 

The whole search was becoming tedious and frustrating. The Watcher simply wanted to throw open the door to Quentin Travers’ office and ask him point blank where the rest of the information was hidden, even though he knew that such a move was a sure method for getting himself, and possibly others, killed. Giles had no illusions that death would be the fate of anyone the Council heads knew had learned the enlightening and equally disgusting secrets of the origination of vampires and Slayers or the ‘cultivation’ of those Slayers by the Council over the centuries.

Setting the kettle on a burner, Giles splashed hot tap water through his favorite teapot and settled the proper amount of leaves into the strainer before hanging it on the side of the teapot and waited for the water to boil.

 

One of the truly modern conveniences he’d allowed himself in his flat had been a beautiful convection microwave oven. As tired as he was this evening, Giles was more than thankful for that very item. His dinner, such as it was, would be ready by the time the water had heated, then once the tea had steeped, the meal would be cooled sufficiently to eat.

Turning his back on the two items preparing his meal for him, Giles headed to the bedroom to change clothes. He was so tired from the last week of work that he’d donned the soft frayed jeans and deep midnight blue chamois shirt before he saw the paper propped against the bureau mirror across the room from the bed.

 

The thought that someone had entered his flat and left the note sent cold chills up his spine like a dank breath of air from a crypt. If someone could get inside, who knows what mischief or actual harm they could have done…  or have been still waiting for him.

Taking a deep breath, Giles reached for the paper, hoping it was friend and not foe that had left it for him. Opening the folds of the pale ivory sheets, he quickly scanned to the bottom of the missive, exhaling in relief only when he saw the signature.

Refolding the sheets, Giles tucked them into a pocket as he headed for the kitchen and the whistle of the kettle as it was accompanied at intervals by the dinging of the microwave oven.

 

 

~*~

 

 

 “So you’re telling me that Connor wouldn’t exist at all if someone hadn’t done some kind of major mojo on me or Darla or both of us somewhere along the line?” Angel asked Cordelia once she’d finished her explanations. Lorne had returned with Gunn and Fred sometime during the endless information; but Angel hadn’t even noticed their arrival, he’d been so engrossed in Cordelia’s tale.

“That’s about the size of it. I’m guessing we’d need to find out from someone on the inside what they did.” Cordelia glanced at the green skinned demon sitting across from her and shrugged. “You had Lorne check for you before and he couldn’t find out anything, so it’s gonna have to be someone inside who’ll know what they did. I doubt we can count on Lilah Monster telling us anything useful.”

“Monster? Oh, you mean Morgan.” Angel wondered if there was something more Cordelia wasn’t telling him.

The seer simply shrugged again as Gunn answered for her. “Monster, Morgan. Can’t see a lot of difference with those Wolfram and Hart toadies. We might be able to get more information from Lindsey, if we knew where he was. He did kinda keep spilling the beans occasionally and he had this whole thing going about Darla anyway.”

Cordelia looked only slightly embarrassed at the glare Angel aimed her direction.

 

“Yeah, Lindsey McDonald… Fred, see if you can help Cordelia track him down. We’ll get him back here to L.A. and see if he has any thing to tell us.” Angel continued to glare as he gave instructions.

“But… but what if he doesn’t want to come back to L.A.?” Fred asked innocently. She could hear the harsh edge to Angel’s voice but didn’t know the history between Lindsey and Angel personally.

“Oh, he’ll come back. Trust me on this one.” Angel stood up and stalked up the stairs.

Fred looked confused and a bit helpless as she turned to each of the group, seeking reassurance of some kind. Cordelia rose from the sofa and walked toward Fred, putting an arm around the slender girl’s shoulders to lead her back into the office.

“It's okay, Fred. They both had the hots for Darla. That blonde hang-up and all. Bad blood between them.”

 

“B… blood?” Fred ‘s voice quavered.

 

“Not real blood. Just a figure of speech.” Cordelia sat the smaller woman in front of the computer.

No need to get into all that hand cutting and wine cellar ickyness.

 

~*~

 

 ‘the strangest things

I've always known

it slays me every time

darkened fields

have overgrown

our love

covered in my blood

is so violent’

 

 

Buffy and Spike had a horrible argument as to how to handle Willow. The redheaded witch had gone over the edge in grief after Tara had been killed in front of her. Willow had been splattered with her lover’s blood.

The shock had been unimaginable for the rest of the Scoobies, but they could only attempt to understand what it had done to Willow.

Against Buffy’s advice, Willow had killed the person responsible for Tara’s death. In fact, Buffy had been the only one to say ‘no’ to killing the man. Spike, Xander, Anya and even Dawn had been all for ruthless vengeance.

 

Spike had disappeared, Anya was a demon again, Dawn was acting stranger than just finding Tara’s body could account for, and Willow was completely off the deep end.

Buffy felt incredibly over her head even though she’d tried to take action. She needed Spike’s help. She needed someone to stay with Dawn and try to find out what was wrong with the teen. She needed to calm her best friend without killing her. She needed to grieve. She had no time or ideas about how to do any of it; so Buffy did the next best thing, in her mind. She picked up the phone and called Giles in England.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Tea made and dinner transferred to a proper plate, Giles took the plate and teapot to the small table in the alcove.

He’d been pleased to acquire this particular flat since it had a much desired window in a small alcove off the kitchen that allowed him to gaze on a patch of meadow where it fronted the edge of the park trees. All in all, it was an excellent flat.

Settling in his chair, the Watcher unfolded the pages from Yanni and began to read. He’d not heard from her or Yanose for almost a week and was anxious to know how things were with them.

 

 

‘Mr. Giles,

 

We hope all is well in your search. Be wary of the head of the serpent here. It reaches to bite across the water, if it may.

We are well. Thank you for your concern for such as we. The sharing of memories of Janna was a wonderful gift for all.

 

In turn, we have that which to share; yet I know it will not be as welcome.

However, with care, it shall be for the good of the Light and such should never be truly unwelcome though the road to it shall be fraught with danger.

           

The Elders have bid me to tell you as it was told to them.

The two who are one do shift, one against the other. One is left in the dark while the other seeks the Light that was.

Red becomes black, yet with care and love shall again be red and life where now is only death. The red is filled with the dark from the loss of another light in the world.

He who watches must act before he may watch. And he, who had acted, must now learn again to watch before he may act.

 

It is cryptic, as are all such seeings of the Elders. It is to hope they will guide you in what must be done.

Take our love to the Slayers and also to the other. She is in greater need of it for now.

 

Journey well.

Yanni and Yanose.’

 

 

Giles leaned back in his seat, his dinner growing cold, only half finished, as he re-read the missive for the third time with little clue as to what the two vampires were talking about at all.

Thus it was with relief when the jangling of the telephone interrupted the start of the fourth perusal of the confusing pages.

The relief would be very short lived.

“Hullo?”

 

“Giles! Thank goodness you’re there. I don’t know where to begin, so much has happened. Everything is crazy, Giles.” Buffy sobbed through the phone, her voice tight, strained, fear clinging to the edges of every word.

“Buffy, are you and Dawn all right?  Strangely enough, I think I just received some information on whatever is happening there, but I’d not swear to that yet. I need you to tell me what has happened, so I can try to help. Then I might be able to unravel the perplexing riddle of the note I received from Yanni.”

“Giles! Don’t be calm at me! God, everything is wrong! Tara’s dead, Giles. Willow has gone over the edge, Spike’s vanished and Dawn’s being weird. More weird than normal Dawn, before you ask.”

“Tara is dead? Oh, Lord! Is everyone else all right? Buffy, take a deep breath and tell me all of it. This infernal letter is already beginning to make sense and I can assure you, the sense it is making is bloody frightening.”

“Don’t say that, Giles.”

 

“Sorry, but it is at least daunting.”

 

“No! No, not that. Don’t say ‘bloody’. It sounds too much like Spike and I can’t find him. We had an argument, he’s missing and I need him. Giles, I love him!”

“Yes, I suspect you do at that. Calm down, Buffy, and try to explain all this to me. You said Tara is dead?”

 

 

~*~

 

            “Got’em! Angel! We found him!” Fred shouted across the lobby to the vampire that employed her.

“Who? You found Lindsey? Where?” The brooding vampire brightened for the first tine that day as he almost ran to the computer screen where Fred sat, crowing her triumph as Cordelia looked over her shoulder.

“Arizona. A little place there called Sedona -”

 

“Incoming!” Cordelia interrupted as she turned away, reaching for the edge of the counter, staring at the dark paneled wall as the vision flashed through her mind like a rapid futuristic hologram.

“Oh, God! Tara! Tara’s dead. Willow looks like someone dipped her in tar. She’s gone postal! Spike and Buffy had a fight and… OH MY GOD, that IDIOT! Doesn’t he know what he just asked? Oh, hell, Dawn too? Damn, Angel. You need to go. Giles is on the way, but you need to go now.” Cordelia pulled herself together and refocused on the world around her and the people in it.

“Angel, Faith’s dead too. I’m sorry. You can’t do anything for her now, but maybe you can stop what’s happening in Sunnydale. Go there instead, Angel. I’ll send Gunn and Lorne to get Lindsey. Fred and I’ll take care of everything with Faith. She listed you as her only next of kin. They’ll probably call tonight about her, so leave me a power-of-attorney.”

 

 

~*~

 

 

This desk was much smaller, a deep ebony wood, polished for years until it glowed softly from within. A similar telephone graced its surface and gently rang.

The man lifted the receiver without a word. It was, after all, his private number.

“It’s done.”

 

“Any problems?”

 

“Naw. Threatened the guard. She’ll not be remembering us if she’s smart.”

 

“I don’t believe in the intelligence of institutional personnel. She’s a loose end. Clean it up. Do we know who the next one is?”

 

“Yeah.” The voice gave an ugly twisted laugh. “It’s the gel’s kid sis, gov’ner.”

 

“I hope you’re joking and I must inform you, I’m not amused in the slightest.”

 

“No joke. It’s her.”

 

“Hell and damnation to them both! Wait a minute.”

The man tucked the phone against his chest for a few moments while he thought.

 It does have possibilities. More than one. Same blood. All right, Ms. Summers, now it’s our turn! He replaced the telephone to his ear once more, the twisted smile crossing his features again. “I think we can use this. For the first time in over two hundred years, we have a unique opportunity. Yes, this will do quite well. Get both of them for me. Bring them here.”

The other hand reached to push the button and sever the connection without further word. He planned to enjoy this.

 

 

~*~

 

 

While Angel was driving to Sunnydale as quickly as possible, and still stay marginally within the speed laws, Giles had purchased his ticket and boarded the plane for L.A. and then Sunnydale. He’d been off the ground just about an hour when he reached into his pocket for a tissue and discovered another note on the same ancient ivory paper.

 

‘Mr. Giles,

 

I imagine you will be on your way to the Americas by now. The serpent has aimed his poison at those we both care for and must protect. Watch over her as well as the new one.

 

For the first time, we regret that it is too dangerous for us to make the same trip.

 

When you have returned to the Isles, seek the book of Julius. The serpent will have it close.

 

Yanni and Yanose’

 

 

~*~

 

 

Dawn was trying to create a sense of normalcy in the Summers’ household while everything around them seemed to be falling apart.

The distraught teen picked up the laundry basket of items she’d grabbed from her room and from Buffy’s, then headed down the stairs toward the kitchen. Crossing the floor, still littered with debris from the police, Emergency Medical Technician’s and Coroner’s office, she reached for the basement door, pulling it open to go downstairs.

The door came off in her hand.

 

Dawn dropped the basket of soiled clothing, where it rolled unnoticed under the table, as she stood unable to comprehend why she was holding the basement door in her hand by its knob.

Fear hit suddenly, Dawn released the door, which clattered across the dining table, then slid drunkenly toward the floor, marking the tile as it went. The teen screamed for her sister. “Buffy! Buffy, help me!”

 

The blonde Slayer ran into the room, almost falling headlong to the floor as she cracked her shins on the door leaning drunkenly across the space between counter and table.

Gasping, she tried to find out the reason for Dawn’s screams. “Dawn… w… what’s wrong? Why is the door in the way?”

 

“That’s what’s wrong! I… I just tried to open it and it came off in my hand.”

 

Buffy rubbed her hands across her sister’s shoulders, trying to calm her. “It’s okay, Dawnie. It must have been knocked loose or something and just fell when you opened it. We’ll get Xander to put it back up for us, okay?”

“Yes… I mean no. Yes, it’s okay for Xander to put it back up, but no it’s not okay cause it wasn’t loose. It was closed and I opened it and I heard it pop and then it came off in my hand.”

“Dawn, honey. I know you’re a big girl and strong, but you can’t just pull the door off the hinges. That’s something I’d do, you know?” Buffy gave the teen a lop-sided smile.

“And that’s exactly the reason Dawn pulled the door off, Buffy.” The voice came from behind the two sisters.

 

Buffy whirled, shock on her face at the sound of that voice. Emotions cascaded over and through her like the pounding of water at the base of a fall, hard, drenching, catching at her breath. “Angel?” She took a deep breath and tried again, clenching her fists to force her voice to behave. “Angel, what are you doing here? What did you mean about Dawn.”

 

The teen hadn’t moved once she heard the sound of Angel’s voice. She’d never really cared much for the dark-haired brooding vampire, at least not like Buffy had, but she had tolerated him for her older sister’s sake. There just seemed to be something dangerous in those darkened depths.

Dawn focused again on what he and Buffy were saying.

 

“Buffy, Faith’s dead. A new Slayer’s been called. Cordelia had a vision about everything that’s happening. She saw the new Slayer too. It’s Dawn, Buffy.”

Buffy slowly shook her head as if her denial would make the words untrue, would make everything return to normal again. Or as normal as could ever be boasted of in Sunnydale, on the Hellmouth.

“No. It’s not possible. No. I won’t let it.”

“Buffy, there’s nothing you can do about it and you know it. You can’t stop it any more than you could stop your own calling. You’ll have to help her and teach her until Giles can get her a Watcher, unless one has already been assigned to her.”

“NO! If… if… if it’s true… Dawn will NOT have a Watcher from the Council! They tried to kill me; they would have let you die! They will NOT do this to my sister, oh… my... God! Oh, God... Angel! What if they know what Giles found out? What if they know about me? What if they try…” Buffy was gasping, looking frantically from one side of the offending door to the other side of the room across the door.

 

In two steps, Angel had moved the fallen door and stood next to Buffy and Dawn, one arm around each of them; but it was Buffy he addressed.

“I think they do know about you, Buffy. Cordelia thought it was the Council that killed Faith. With what all of you found out about you and… and all Slayers… That you’ve died twice -”

“Make that three now.” Dawn’s words were barely above a whisper.

Angel turned to look at the dark-haired girl. Buffy looked in shock, unable to move. She thought Dawn hadn’t known. “Three? What do you mean three, Dawn?”

“When… when the man… shot Buffy and… and… Oh, God! Angel, he killed Tara and Willow is all weird now and Buffy almost died, but I heard Xander say that if Willow hadn’t saved her that Buffy would have died, that she was dead. He heard the monitors go flat right before Willow used her magick to pull the bullet out of her!” Dawn hid her face in her hands as she cried, sobbing as though something inside of her would break.

 

Without further words, Buffy and Angel managed to lead Dawn to the living room where she sat on the sofa, crying into Buffy’s shoulder while Angel went to get her a glass of water.

Buffy smoothed Dawn’s hair as the girl’s crying slowed to snuffles. “Dawn, Giles is on his way here. He’ll know what to do about this. If it’s true, he’ll take care of finding a good Watcher for you, somebody not so connected to the Council. I’ll be with you to help protect you, and if that idiot vampire ever shows up… Well, you know he’ll take care of you too, Dawnie.”

 

“He went to get the chip out.”

 

“He what?! With Willow like this and Tara dead, he went to get the chip out of his head? Now?!” Fury was rising inside of Buffy, turning her anger to icy rage.

“It was what you told him. That you didn’t trust him enough, ah, you know...? That and the argument about the guy that killed Tara. I wasn’t trying to listen, but when you two argue… I kinda think everybody for two blocks listens.”

 

Angel had returned, sitting the glass of water on the coffee table for the teen if she chose to drink it. He’d dropped into the chair beside the sofa as Buffy had tried to calm her sister. Between Buffy’s anger, which he was all too familiar with, and Dawn’s comments, Angel was afraid he’d choke himself trying to bite back the laughter that threatened to spill out. Fortunately, the vampire couldn’t choke, but unfortunately, he failed miserably in his effort to not laugh and it erupted from his nose as a snort.

 

Buffy turned those flashing, angry hazel eyes on her ex-lover in an instant, daring him to continue.

The older vampire held his sides with both arms as he literally rolled out of the chair onto the floor, pink tinged tears oozing from the corners of his eyes as he laughed. “Buffy… I’m sorry… didn’t mean... but you do… and Spike…” Angel was gasping for unneeded breath and Buffy’s eyes had chilled to the same sub-zero temperature as her voice.

“Well, I’m so glad I could provide some amusement for you, Angel. Or that my arguments with Spike are so entertaining to the entire NEIGHBORHOOD!” The decibels of her voice crept higher with each word.

“Pretty much like that, Buffy.” Dawn told her quietly, a small smile on her face finally.

“Both of you… I should throw both of you... somewhere! Him out in the noonday sun in the middle of the street along with that blonde idiot childe of his... and you... my own sister... I should... I should get Giles to get Wesley for your Watcher.”

 

Dawn looked amused at Buffy’s words, but every trace of mirth disappeared instantly from Angel, like a slate washed clean with ice water.

He struggled to his feet and walked from the room, anger evident in every line of his broad back.

 

 

~*~

 

 ‘Then I get to thinking maybe

  -Maybe too much thinking's bad

 Well my mind takes no prisoners

  -pities no one

 Spares not even me 'til the harm is done

 Here I go again

 The night just walked in

 In walks the night

 Darkness all around me

 And I'm dying for the light

 Reach down for a little strength deep inside’                            

 

 

Fred bounced through the front doors of the Hyperion, calling to Cordelia. “He’s here. They got him!”

Lindsey followed her inside, with Gunn and Lorne right behind him.

 

“Cordelia.” Lindsey McDonald nodded slightly at the brunette seer. “So after telling me to get out of town and stay away, why have you guys tracked me down and pretty much forced me to come back to L.A.? Don’t tell me that Angel missed me, or couldn’t he find someone else to hassle?”

“Hi, Lindsey. No, Angel can find plenty of people to hassle; and, no, he didn’t miss you, but you might have some information that he needs. Why don’t you come on in, let us get your stuff up to a room and then we can talk. Angel’s out of town for a day or so... an emergency came up. But I’ve got all the information and can ask the questions in the meanwhile.” Cordelia was polite, pleasant and smiled like a shark ready to feed, with Lindsey as the bait.

 

Lorne took Lindsey’s two bags upstairs. Fred had gotten a room ready earlier while Cordelia talked to the Coroners office, prison and the funeral home, making arrangements to handle the deceased Slayer. After what had been learned about the Watcher’s Council, Cordelia made sure cremation was the plan. Afterwards, she planned take the urn to Sunnydale. It seemed appropriate since Faith had no other family and Angel was there already.

Cordelia realized she should call Wesley since he had been Faith’s Watcher once upon a time. But Angel was in Sunnydale and if Wesley wanted to attend the memorial service... Well, things might get a bit awkward to say the least. So Cordelia hadn’t made that phone call. Yet.

 

While Lorne headed up the stairs, Gunn herded Lindsey to the sofa, settling down next to him in case the lawyer tried to run.

Cordelia pulled a chair over so she could sit facing the young lawyer for the questioning. She glimpsed Lorne and Fred coming back down the stairs and flicked her eyes to advise them to stay out of sight and simply listen. “So. Lindsey. Long time no see. How’ve you been?”

“Cordelia, I know you didn’t have this pair kidnap me just to ask me how I’ve been since I got the hell outta Dodge. Why don’t we get straight to the point?”

 

The brunette seer sat up a bit straighter in the chair, bringing her full attention and focus on the smirking man in front of her. Recently, her full attention could be very unsettling, as Lindsey was finding it now. “All right. You were involved in bringing Darla back for Wolfram and Hart. You spent plenty of time with her afterwards, both while she was human and once that nut-case had vamped her again.” Cordelia leaned slightly forward, wanting to see Lindsey’s expression and those piercing blue eyes a bit better. “So lawyer boy... Did you or any of your associates, to the best of your knowledge, use any magick on or toward Darla and/or Angel prior to when you left town, or are you aware of any magick planned toward either of them singly or together, by anyone, at or associated with your previous firm.”

“My, my… Cordelia. That was very well done. You seem to have been hangin’ out with a bad element to have learned to speak lawyer-ese so well.”

 

“Yeah, all that. Now answer the question. I know you understood every word of it. I also think I covered all the important points as well.”

“That you did, and quite well. Okay, no. To the best of my information, no magick was done to or at Angel and/or Darla, other than the resurrection of Darla herself, by anyone associated with or in my previous firm, prior to my departure. Nor was I aware of any plans for such magick.”

 

Lindsey took a page from Cordelia’s own book and leaned slightly toward her, arms crossed and elbows resting on his knees, a sly smile on his face. “But that’s the big thing, you know? The Special Projects unit didn’t tell even me everything that they had in mind or had planned, so something could have been done without me being aware of it.”

He straightened back up to finish his statement. “So why are you asking me this? It must be something big for you guys to have tracked me down and then haul me back here. It’s not like Angel could be anxious to see me at all; but, speak of the devil, where did you say your brooding boss was?”

 

“He’s away on business, not that it’s any of yours. I’m sure you remember the night you sent Darla to force Angel to lose his soul? Even though it didn’t work and everyone only thought all it had done was to piss you off to the point you pounded him with a sledgehammer; seems there was an unexpected twist to that night’s adventure. Darla showed up several months later, very preggers. It also seems that can’t happen with two vamps unless there’s like a magickal ‘fertility’ treatment’s involved.”

Cordelia leaned back slightly as she scrutinized Lindsey’s reaction to the news of Darla’s pregnancy with Angel’s child. The seer found herself almost feeling sorry for the attorney as she saw the shock and pain, anger and jealousy cross his features in rapid succession. Suddenly, Cordelia wasn’t very happy about the remainder of what she was going to have to tell him. She sighed, feeling like someone had given her the fuzzy end of the lollypop, what with having to give bad news to the men she knew. “Ah, Lindsey… I’m sorry. I know you cared about her. I know Wolfram and Hart brought her back for a reason and all, that you didn’t expect to feel... well, like you did. The rest isn’t good either.”

 

She paused while waiting for him to adjust to her words, but had to get the last of it out. “They were after her, at the end. Her and the baby. They wanted to use him… the baby, you know? But we all protected her. She... she’s gone, Lindsey. She staked herself to have the baby. Since she was a vampire... she couldn’t give birth and the baby was struggling, dying. So she grabbed a sliver of wood and staked herself to save her child. I’m sorry.”

 

Lindsey turned away, staring at the wall, breathing open mouthed as he tried to pull himself together again. He’d not thought of Darla in months. But to know she’d carried Angel’s child, to know she was truly and completely gone, caused his chest to tighten, his heart to flutter like a caged, winged thing attempting to escape. When he felt he could draw an almost normal breath again, Lindsey turned back to Cordelia. “T… thank you for telling me. The baby was a boy? Where is he now?”

 

The young seer ducked her head quickly, trying to control her own breathing at his question.

I’ll really have to thank Skip. She looked up slowly at the distraught lawyer she had thought she hated. But his grief about Darla was all too real. Cordelia could remember that kind of grief and softened toward Lindsey even as the little voice in the back of her head cautioned her against that action. “Connor was here… for a while. The… the vampires wanted him and Wolfram and Hart still wanted him. There was a demon that brought an old enemy of Angel’s here somehow. Holtz. There was a false prophecy and W… Wesley tried to take Connor to safety. Your old bosses added some of Connor’s blood to Angel’s food… Lilah was involved and… Wesley almost died, and he’s not welcome here now. Holtz took Connor and escaped to a demon dimension. Angel… Angel was… We don’t know how to get to Connor.” Cordelia looked into Lindsey’s grief-stricken eyes, hers even more haunted.

 

The lawyer slowly reached to touch her hand. Gunn had shifted the instant Lindsey moved; yet Cordelia’s quick glance had frozen him into place. His hand’ s warm, soft… with calluses on his fingertips from playing his guitar. Cordelia realized, as he took her hand, sympathy evident in every movement.

 

“I’m sorry, too. Now that I’m here... can I… Will you let me help? Try to find Connor? Try to get him back? I can only imagine what he means to Angel, and hope he’d understand that the child is all that’s left of Darla. My only possible link with her.”

“Yeah, I do understand, Lindsey. If you can help Angel get Connor back, I know he’ll be grateful. I think he’ll understand. I know he will, if I have anything to say about it.”

Cordelia stood suddenly, turning to surreptitiously wipe the beginning moisture from her eyes, before looking at Lindsey again.  “Go catch some sleep. I’ve got a lot of things to handle. Faith was killed recently too. Let me get the immediate stuff handled and then... Connor… Well, we’ll work on it later, okay?”

 

He caught her arm quickly but gently. “Let me help you. I can sleep later. I think there is more you need to fill me in on. Especially if I’m gonna help and you’re down one member.” His eyes pleaded, although he didn’t say a word more. His eyes spoke volumes.

“Yeah... I guess I need to fill you in completely on everything instead of just the ‘highlights’, if you’re gonna help. Yeah, that’d be good, Lindsey.” Cordelia glanced at the others. “Gunn, can you help Fred finish up with the preparations I arranged for Faith? Lorne, we might need your ideas. You know, that dimensional stuff?” Cordelia glanced toward Gunn. He was the only one who’d known Lindsey from before, except Lorne. But Lorne liked the lawyer and Cordelia knew Gunn trusted her enough to trust her lead on accepting Lindsey McDonald’s help. Her head moved in the slight flicker of a nod as she caught Gunn’s eyes.

 

Gunn and Fred both nodded in agreement as the dark man took Fred’s hand to lead her toward the front door. Lorne simply looked saddened as he followed the seer and the lawyer to the office in the back.

 

 

~*~

 

Giles took a taxi from the airport to Buffy’s house. He’d not expected to find Angel there, but welcomed the vampire’s assistance.

 

Buffy and Dawn almost unbalanced him in their anxiousness to hug the older man. He was used to rib creaking hugs from Buffy, who would suddenly pull back, realizing she was using a bit too much strength. Dawn didn’t have that understanding yet and Giles gasped as he felt his bones flex painfully.

Buffy realized instantly what was occurring and pulled Dawn back before she broke a rib.

 

Angel shook hands with the Watcher, that edge of guilt always present since his return from Hell, knowing what this man had suffered at his hands. “It’s true, Giles? Dawn’s the next one?”

“So it would seem. Nice to see you, Angel. This may take both of us, if not more, before it’s over. We’ll discuss this later.” Giles shrugged off his jacket, which Buffy took at once.

Dawn had perched on the front edge of a chair, watching with trepidation. “Are you okay, Giles? I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m not used to this yet. I pulled the door off in the kitchen too.”

Kneeling to take her hands, Giles looked into Dawn’s eyes, trying to reassure her. “It’s all right, Dawn. Buffy kept my ribs black and blue from bruises when she first started. We’ll get you used to things quickly.”  Kissing the top of her head, he stood up. “Buffy, perhaps you can show Dawn some of the very basic things while I speak with Angel?”

The slender blonde Slayer agreed as Giles headed for the kitchen, Angel behind him.

 

Both men took a chair at the dining table, the door now removed from it and sitting against the far wall. Giles looked at the door, then at Angel. “Well, I see. So how is it that you’re here, Angel? Not that I’m protesting, although it is somewhat of a surprise.”

“Cordy had a vision.” Angel launched into a narrative of Cordelia’s vision that sent him to Sunnydale, as well as the information he’d gotten from Buffy once he’d arrived earlier that evening.

“That certainly explains a great deal. I received a couple of notes about this situation in the last twenty-four hours; however, it wasn’t nearly as clear as what you’ve told me. Your information helps to clarify the majority of what the notes hinted at so cryptically. I should tell you that I’m in contact with members of the Kalderash clan on a regular basis, Angel.”

 

The vampire only nodded. Angel had heard a lot about the previous adventures from Cordelia in the last couple of days.

“Good, you know. Well, there’s a great deal more you probably don’t know and should, especially in light of the circumstances around Faith’s death.” Giles reached into his trouser pocket for the two notes and handed the ivory vellum to Angel.

“Once you read these, I’ll tell you the rest of what I know.”

 

 

~*~

 

‘Lend me your fire, so I can burn

Save all my ashes for my return

Not with a scream but with a sigh

Keep your head down low and keep your hands held high’

           

 

“So you want to be as you were?” The demon laughed. It was an evil sound that promised more than one asked for. A sound that reminded the listener of why they had feared the dark when they told themselves they were alone, while the small quiet voices at the back of their head asked how much they’d bet on that fact.

It was a laugh to never trust.

 

Spike ignored it, caught up in anger as he was. “Yeah, that’s what I want.”

 

 

~*~

 

 

Buffy had tried to go over the beginning basics of slaying with her sister while Giles talked with Angel.

Buffy realized all too quickly that while she was good at slaying, she didn’t have the patience to teach someone else, especially her sister, to slay vampires. But knowing the two men upstairs needed to talk, Buffy doggedly kept trying.

The two Summers women had been working on basic moves for over an hour when Buffy finally admitted defeat. “Giles, I’m gonna stake Dawn now, okay?” She called up the stairs, hoping her Watcher would take pity on her and descend to the basement to instruct Dawn.

Instead, the smooth British voice drifted down the stairs to her. “Buffy, can you and Dawn come up here please?”

Buffy groaned as she looked at a very frustrated and sweaty Dawn. “That’s his ‘I’m your Watcher so do what I tell you' voice. You’ll get to know it well, I’m sure. C’mon, let’s see what’s up.”

Buffy bounced up the stairs ahead of Dawn, who was beginning to wonder when the bouncy-ness would come, like the extra strength had done.

“Yes, oh-Watcher-of-mine?” The small slender blonde quipped.

 

“Sit down, Buffy. Dawn. We need to talk for a few minutes then patrol.”

 

“Giles! Dawn’s not ready to patrol!”

 

“I understand that. Nor were you when you started; however, with you, myself and Angel along, I’m sure she will be safe and might even get to experience a second vampire kill.”

“Second?” Buffy looked askance at her sister, wondering when Dawn had staked a vamp.

 

“Halloween. That boy…” Dawn whispered, voice heavy with sadness.

 

“The one you went out with?” Buffy was afraid she had the beginning of an idea.

 

“The one she’d kissed, Buffy. I suspect it was her first kiss.” Giles interrupted quietly. He’d seen what Dawn had done and had been with her immediately afterwards. He knew how upset the girl had been.

“OH! Dawnie…” Buffy stretched her arm, hand gently touching her sister’s cheek. “I’m sorry, Dawn. Been there, done that. Still hate it.” The blonde Slayer looked directly at Angel, her eyes full of apology.

“She’ll be fine, Buffy. But Giles has information for both of you. We kinda put all the bits we had separately together. The resulting whole isn’t good.” Angel hadn’t wanted to tell her at all, but Giles had insisted. Buffy had enough to worry about with Dawn being the new Slayer and Spike missing after a fight, one friend dead and the other doing a serious ‘Angelus’.

“What’s wrong? How much more do I have to worry about?” Buffy was tired and frustrated. She missed Spike, was worried about him. Then there was Willow and Tara and now this thing with Dawn as the new Slayer… Buffy thought it was more than any one Slayer ought to have to handle at once.

“Quite a bit, I’m afraid, Buffy. I believe the Council has learned about your, ah, deaths, which Angel tells me has now increased to three?”

“Well, not really. It was only kinda. I was still mostly alive.”

Giles sighed deeply as he shook his head slightly. “Buffy, remember what we found out about each time? Remember what happened after the first one? I must caution you to be more careful.”

“Giles, it wasn’t like I stood in the middle of the firing range and said ‘Hey guys, somebody shoot me now'! I was in my own backyard, minding my own business.”

“I know. I just... worry. But back to business. We believe the Council knows, which is why we think they had Faith killed. I’ll wager they also know who the new Slayer is and that they are certainly unhappy it’s Dawn. However, if they could get their hands on the two of you… Well, it might be Selene all over again, if they were to have their way. I want to contact Wesley to be Watcher for Dawn.” Giles raised his hand to forestall Buffy’s protests, as well as the glares from Angel at the end of the table. “He’s not the man you knew as a Watcher, Buffy. He’s been through, well, ‘trial by fire’ for lack of a better term. He’s learned to fight demons in L.A. with Angel, who says he’s a good man in a fight. However, he made a mistake recently that has left him at loose ends. Angel will explain that part of it to you later, but I beg you to not judge Wesley on that basis. I believe he will take care of Dawn quite well. I think that having her as his Slayer may save his life as well. It will give him purpose again and build his own self-confidence as he guides Dawn.”

 

Buffy had looked to Angel for an explanation, but knew by his expression that no words would be forthcoming yet. She could tell he was angry with Wesley for some reason, yet he’d nodded at the comment about Wesley being a good man in a fight and about taking care of Dawn. Trusting Angel as she always had, Buffy let it go for the moment. “Okay. So you guys are coming with us to patrol? Does Dawn have to go?”

“Buffy, you can’t protect her forever, just like I couldn’t do for you. She has to learn and the three of us with her is a good start. Your friends have patrolled with you for years and none of them are Slayers. Dawn is.” Angel quietly admonished the woman he’d loved and would always care for.

 

 

~*~

 

 

The darkness was thick and pressed against him like the body of a lover. The creature touched him gently, along his arm, across his back. It was soft and warm like Buffy when she snuggled against his back as they lay in bed at night.

The warmth grew everywhere the thing had touched him. Grew until he felt like his skin was on fire, until he feared his flesh would burst into flame from the heat of it, yet still it seared, deeper and deeper into his body, each movement more painful than the last.

The pain was like acid, eating him alive, as he struggled through the stifling darkness, biting his tongue so hard, trying to keep the screams inside, that he tasted the metallic copper of his own blood before darkness overwhelmed him.

 

 

~*~

 

 

“Dawnie, let me show you again the best way to hold your stake.” Buffy tried to cover how worried she was at having Dawn with her on patrol; Dawn planning to stake a vampire.

“No, Buffy. All three of you have shown me. I’ve watched you for years. And Spike showed me... Like, just in case. That’s how I knew... Before.”

“Oh. Spike showed you?”

 

“Yeah. Over the summer while you were gone, he taught me a lot about slaying. I think he was worried something would happen to him, or that he’d fail in some way. He was really worried about that... He said he’d already failed both of us once too often -"

“Heads up!” Angel whispered tersely, stopping all conversation.

 

Ahead of them, crossing the open space in front of a crypt, were three vampires. Without discussion, the quartet broke into a run toward them. Buffy tackled one, just as Angel tackled the one on the left, leaving the middle vampire standing still with shock. Giles and Dawn converged on him.

Giles threw a punch to the vamp’s face, bruising his hand, as he knew he would. Dawn managed a passable kick to the vampire’s knee, causing him to stumble, and as he did, she slammed the stake into his heart from the back, then watched him crumble into dust leaving her holding the stake awkwardly in open air.

The teen looked up to see Buffy kick her vampire over a headstone only to then jump him stake first. Angel was doing as well with his, twisting the vampire’s head from his body, so the vamp crumbled as dust out of Angel’s arms.

“Is everybody okay?” Giles asked, slightly winded. “Good work, Dawn.”

 

“Fine, Giles. Out of shape? Stay with us a while, we’ll fix that.” Buffy teased the older man.

 

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of.”

 

 

~*~

 

 ‘Where perfect dreams meet the perfect life

My days are the richness of your praise

And I can’t imagine what it feels like

To fully know all that you say

And everything, and everything

And everything is holy, holy, holy’

 

 

Cordelia hung up the telephone and just stared at it. She was still staring at it, yet not seeing anything around, her when Lindsey entered the office.

“Cordy? You okay? Vision?”

 

“What? Oh, no. Just… Angel called and Giles got on the phone too. They want me to go do something for them.”

 

“Something you don’t want to do?”

 

“Not so much don’t want to do as just don’t feel comfortable doing.”

 

“Want me to come with?”

 

Cordelia flashed him a brilliant smile. “Would you? Yes, I’d much rather have someone with me. Thanks, Lin.” She moved to gather up her purse and keys. “Ready? Better to just do it and get it over with.”

“Give me a second to get some shoes on and yeah. You gonna tell me where we’re going though or are you just keeping me in suspense?”

“We have to go see Wesley.”

 

 

~*~

 

 

The quartet had disturbed several more vampires over the next hour. Buffy forced herself to stand back as Angel and Giles instructed Dawn. Buffy just kept the stray vamps off their backs. Sometimes literally.

Having covered enough ground for the evening, they’d turned back toward the Summers’ house when the men struck.

Dawn raised her stake with a tired, trembling hand.

 

“Dawn, NO! They’re human!” Buffy yelled as she kicked the man closest to her. She hadn’t felt that telltale alert of her Slayer senses from any of the four men. They were dressed in black from head to foot, including the ski-type mask pulled over their head. Even their weapons were black coated so as not to betray them with a stray gleam from light on a silvered surface.

“They’re ‘Raptors’, Buffy.” Giles shouted, as he struck his own assailant in the nose with his already bruised fist.

 

Dawn was not only at a disadvantage, but was a liability with this group. All four men were human and well trained; so while Buffy, Giles and Angel could fight effectively against the assailants, Dawn could not.

For a brief second, Buffy was glad that Angel was beside her instead of Spike, since the blonde vampire couldn’t fight against these humans, regardless of how despicable their actions. Spike, on the other hand, would have known to make Dawn one of the first priorities and gotten her to safety, leaving Buffy and Giles to handle the attackers. Instead, Angel had snapped off a stout branch from a nearby tree, tossing it to Dawn to use as a cudgel, should any of the Raptors, as Giles had called them, manage to break through the circle of defense Buffy, Giles and Angel held around the young Slayer.

 

Angel knocked out one of the men, then casually tossed him into the bushes at the side, to break his fall and remove him from the area. Left lying on the ground, the unconscious attacker would have been a trip hazard.

Unfortunately, one of the men realized he’d not get through the defensive circle and instead focused his attack on Giles, rightly assuming the Watcher to be the weaker link of the defenders. Facing two Raptors on his own, Giles caught a hard blow to the side of the head just as Angel rendered his own man unconscious.

The Watcher went down, dazed, as both of his attackers rushed past him scooping up Dawn and breaking into a ground-eating run.

 

Angel had gone to help Giles, but was waved away. “I’m all right. Forget about me. Get Dawn!”

Buffy took in the situation at a glance as well, even occupied with her own assailant. “Angel, get Dawn! I’ll see to Giles.”

Buffy put her anger and frustration into the force behind the next kick and the man crumpled in a heap as her foot caught him across the temple. The Slayer looked toward Giles for an instant, only to see him waving her on behind Angel.

There was no further hesitation as she broke into a run behind the vampire.

 

Buffy and Angel rounded the corner of the hedges in time to see the two men shove a struggling Dawn into a waiting van, which then pulled out from the curb.

Panic stricken, Buffy pushed herself even harder, putting on a short lived burst of speed that brought her to the back of the van in time to catch a door handle and jump to the bumper of the fleeing vehicle.

 

As she pulled herself forward attempting to find a more stable balance, the second back door opened suddenly and one of the men lashed out with both feet as he grasped a rack bolted to the van’s inside roof. One foot caught Buffy in the shoulder while the other struck her in the center of the chest, sending her tumbling into the street as the van sped further away.

The Slayer hit the pavement hard, rolling with the impact as she tried to minimize the damage she knew she’d sustain. Angel had been only precious seconds behind her and dived to the pavement to halt Buffy’s rolling skid across the asphalt.

“Oomph!” Buffy lay on the hard warm street next to the dark-haired vampire. “That hurt. I think I’m missing about half my skin now. You okay? Giles? Good, cause we have to go find them now.” Buffy stated as Angel had nodded an affirmative to both of her questions.

“We have no idea where they were going, Buffy. But we’ll start looking.” Having struggled to his feet, Angel held out a hand to help Buffy up. Rising slowly, she winced with each movement that pushed her upright.

“Let’s go get Giles, then we have to find Dawn.” She didn’t wait for an answer from the vampire as she limped away to find her Watcher.

Giles was standing in the cemetery with the unconscious Raptors; one hand braced against a convenient headstone, when Buffy found him.

“They took Dawn, Giles. We have to go look for her.”

 

“We can plan the search from your house as well as from here, Buffy. We have no idea how long these  men…” He waved his hand slightly to indicate the unmoving men on the ground. “May be out. Obviously there are others and I’m sure they will know where your house is as well. They may contact you there. There must be something they want if they only kidnapped her instead of attempting to kill either or both of you. I suspect what they were after -”

“Was me! If they’re Raptors, Giles, they want me and you know why. The Council knows about me and wants me for their obscene experiments. Dawn will be their bait.”

“I think both of you are right. They’ll be after you, Buffy. Let me help you so we can get back to a phone faster.” Angel had drawn up even with Buffy and Giles as they stood carefully, favoring their injuries.

Buffy glanced up at Angel with an expression he’d never seen and couldn’t quite interpret. “I’ll walk. I’ll be just fine by myself.”

With that comment, she suited word to deed, limping away from the two men as they watched her leave.

 

“Did I say something wrong, Giles? Is this because she’s with Spike now? I’ve never seen her like this before. She’s not refused my help like that before when she was injured.” The vampire was confused, seeking answers from the only other person who might have them.

Giles motioned for Angel to walk beside him as they followed Buffy home, although they were a bit slower. Angel kept pace with Giles, knowing better than to leave him alone.

“How much did Cordelia tell you of what we’d discovered regarding Slayers? Most of it? Good. Then if you understand that and understand that she is closer to her ‘roots’ as we might call it, than any other Slayer, and she’s just had her third death, regardless of how ‘slight’ it was, according to her. Well, I believe we’re seeing the results of that, as she becomes even more like the first Slayer, more like the daylight version of a vampire.”

 

 

~*~

 

Spike lay limp, battered, every nerve ending screaming. The rock floor of the cave seemed to be covered with small needle-sharp lumps, according to his back, even though he knew it hadn’t been when he entered this chamber.

Two glowing, green eyes emerged out of the dank darkness to hover several feet above the injured vampire.

 

Sarcastic humor helped him cover the pain. “So, I made it through your lil’ chamber of horrors. Picnic actually. I’ll be taking my reward now and going on my way.”

“You can barely move, vampire. Just what ‘reward’ do you think you’ve earned?”

 

“What we discussed at tha’ beginning. All this damp cave affectin’ your mem’ry now?”

 

“My memory is fine, but thank you for your concern.” The demon was as sarcastic as Spike. “I need to hear you say what you want.”

 

“Fine. I want to be like I was before… Before this chip tried to rot my brain, before tha’ bitch tried to make me think I was nothing.”

A wave of pain flowed through Spike as he lay on the floor of the cave, causing him to momentarily forget the demon was still there.

“Just wanna be someone she can love as much as I love her.” The words were soft, a whisper of sound through teeth clinched against the pain of his body, tortured by the trial he’d endured. Endured for her, endured for himself. To try and reclaim himself from what he thought she’d made of him.

 

The demon caught the soft words Spike had spoken only to himself. His pain and exhaustion caused the deeply buried desires to surface. It was the real answer the demon had been seeking.

“That is what I needed to know! It is done, vampire. Once you leave this place, do not return. There will be nothing for you here again.”

The demon waved his hand slightly creating a flash of greenish-blue light just above the floor next to Spike. As the light faded, a decanter of liquid remained.

“Drink. Sleep. You will be healed when you awaken. Then you must leave. The change will happen while you sleep.”

The glowing eyes faded back into the dark of the cavern.

 

Spike rolled carefully to his side, unable to hold back the groan of pain the movement caused. He grasped the decanter in a shaking hand, pulling it to his lips and drinking.

It wasn’t blood, but something with the same viscosity. It was sweet and bitter at the same time, and seemed to leave a trail of heat inside of him.

 

Spike didn’t care right now. He’d won the trial. He’d be back to the ‘Big Bad’ and then he’d show Buffy the way things were gonna be… But first, he had to sleep.

The darkness of that blessed oblivion overcame him only moments after he let the decanter slip from his now lax fingers.

 

 

~*~

 

 

‘walked on the stones

then sank through these oceans

heaven’s fields laid bare

I’d give up the ghosts

locked up inside me

if I ever once had cared’

 

 

Lindsey stood behind Cordelia while she knocked on the door to Wesley’s apartment. She’d tried to explain on the drive over everything she could about the estrangement between Wesley and, well… everybody, because of the one between Wesley and Angel. Lindsey understood more about where Wesley was right now than he was ever willing to explain to anyone.

 

They heard noise behind the closed door, moments before it was jerked open. Wesley took one look at them and tried to slam the door shut. Lindsey quickly reached past Cordelia to catch the door, holding it open. “Let us talk to you, Wesley. It’s not what you think.” Lindsey told the haggard looking man.

 

“I’ve already told your associate no. What more do you want of me? And you, Cordelia… With them? I never would have thought it, but then I’d never have thought any of this.” The ex-Watcher released the door so quickly Lindsey almost fell face first inside the apartment, pushing Cordelia in front of him. “Fine. Suit yourselves.” Wesley walked away to resume his seat at the small table. It was covered with partially filled dishes, as was the counter behind the surly man.

Cordelia walked toward him, looking for the man that had been her friend. “Wes… I had no idea. When I got back… I tried to talk to him, but Connor’s…”

 

Wesley stood so suddenly his chair slammed into the floor behind him as it fell. He leaned toward Cordelia, both arms stiff, braced against the table. “Don’t you think I know!? Don’t you think it runs through my mind in an endless loop, night after night, not to mention every waking hour? D’you think I don’t know how special and rare that child was and that this is my fault?”  He turned quickly away from them. “Don’t you think I wish every day that she had done a better job with that knife so I didn’t have to look at myself in the mirror and know what I did? Just leave me alone.”

 

Cordelia took a hesitant step toward her friend, reaching to touch him, but stopping short of contact. She was unsure how the brunette would take the gesture. “Wesley, I understand why you did what you did. If I could make it better, I would. Don’t you know that? But that’s not the reason we came. Giles called me. Faith is dead, Wesley. She was killed in prison. They think it was the Council. A new Slayer has been called, of course; but it’s Dawn. Buffy’s sister, Dawn. Giles wants you to go to Sunnydale to be her Watcher.”

 

Wesley turned to face the seer, his lips curled into a sardonic smirk, cold harsh laughter oozed from his lips. “Her ‘Watcher’? I couldn’t keep Connor safe, but they want me to be ‘Watcher’ for Dawn? Do they think I can really keep her any safer? Does Giles even know what I’ve done, what I am?”

“He knows. He knows all of it, Wesley, not just whatever Angel may have said. Buffy and Giles want you to be Dawn’s Watcher. I think you should too.”

“Wonderful. So you’re all in agreement. How marvelous. And did Angel agree too? Did they ask him what he thought of my ability to protect an innocent?”

 

Cordelia had never heard Wesley sound so sarcastic or bitter. They had to fix this before he was so twisted inside he’d never recover. “Actually, they did. Angel agreed that you where the best man for the job. The best one to protect Dawn. I think so too, Wesley, for what it’s worth.”

Cordelia took another step closer. She was finally close enough to touch him. Very carefully, the brunette seer touched his shoulder. It saddened her to feel him flinch at the touch of her hand; but after the initial reaction, he leaned into the pressure of her fingertips, desperate for human contact, and that was even worse. “Wesley… it wasn’t entirely your fault. Not at all. In fact, your only mistake was in not confiding in someone, but I feel like that’s my fault. If I’d been there... You’d have talked to me. You made a mistake, but we’ve all made mistakes. Every one of us is trying to make up for those mistakes in some way, even Lindsey. Angel fed a locked room full of lawyers to two vampires, he killed Jenny Calendar, he’s made a lot of mistakes even with a soul. He’s not perfect, Wesley. Neither am I, neither are you, but you can do this. They need you to do this. Please?”

 

“Wesley, I know you don’t know anything good about me at all, but all I do know about you has been good. I trust Cordelia and she trusts you. Help them, Wesley.” Lindsey had moved up on the other side of the disheveled man.

 

Wesley was silent, unmoving, while he stared at the far wall for what seemed like hours. Finally blinking, the gaunt man gave a deep, painful sounding sigh, shrugged one shoulder and looked at Cordelia.

 “I suppose in a twisted sort of way, it makes sense for me to start my reparations in Sunnydale. After all, I made horrible mistakes there too. So I should resolve things there before I attempt the ones here. Let Mr. Giles know I’ll do it.”

“Lindsey can take my car and drive you. You can give him directions. How long should we give you to pack and be ready?”

“A couple of hours should be plenty. If someone is willing, everything here can be packed or given away. I… I got everything in order before I…”

 

Cordelia slid her arm around his shoulders. “It’s okay, Wes. I know. I understand. We’ll go call Giles and let him know while you get your things ready then be back shortly to help you. I’m guessing you might want that bit of time alone? Lindsey can drive you as soon as you’re ready.”

Impulsively, she leaned closer to gently kiss his stubbled cheek. “You’re still my friend, Wesley. Still part of my family. You’re still part of his family, even if he’s angry with you.”

Stepping away from Wesley and toward the door, Cordelia reassured him once more before leaving.

“We’ll be back in just a bit.”

 

 

~*~

 

 

The man answered the gently burring phone on the desk, bringing it to his ear.

 

“We have one of them.”

 

“Which?”

 

“The new one.”

 

“Send a note. Offer to trade her for the other one. That’s the most important one. You can rough her up all you’d like, just don’t kill her. Remember how dangerous she is, and how much more dangerous the other one is.”

 

“Right, gov’ner.”

 

Neither man said goodbye, but simply disconnected the call.

 

The man in the room smiled unpleasantly, pouring another cup of tea as he waited.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Buffy paced the floor in uneven, jerky steps. Angel had gone to pick up something to eat while Giles waited with the Slayer for a call, or note… Anything.

A knock at the door broke the silence of the waiting room. Buffy reached it in three steps, pulling it open wide, yet there was no one in sight. She saw the white envelope taped to the door and pulled it off, turning back inside to read it with Giles.

‘ We have your sister. If you want to see her alive again, come to 346 Lakeside Drive. Give yourself to us and we release your sister unharmed.’

 

Buffy turned the note loose, leaving it in Giles’ hand as she grabbed her jacket from the chair only to find Giles grabbing her arm.

“What do you think you’re doing, Buffy?”

 

“What does it look like? I’m going to save Dawn.”

 

“No, this is completely unacceptable. You’re not going to give yourself to those thugs. Once they have you as well, I seriously doubt they will release Dawn. Why should they? They’ll have you both and you’ll both be on the next boat back to England so the Council can use you in their vile experiments! I will not allow you to do this!”

Buffy just looked at her Watcher; an odd expression crossed her face. “You won’t ‘allow’ me, Giles? There is no ‘allow’. This is my decision, not yours. I love you, Giles, but I also love my sister and I have to save her. She’s the new Slayer, not me.”

“Yes, she is the new Slayer. And has no training at all. We can’t depend on the Council to help her, not when they want to use her. I have no idea when Wesley will be here, or even if the man will come. Spike isn’t here to help and Angel doesn’t have the dedication to Dawn that you and Spike have. Regardless of all of that, YOU are my Slayer and I care about you. I love you too, Buffy, but I cannot let you deliberately put yourself in the hands of people that will only hurt you.”

Buffy turned and pulled the older man into an unexpected hug then pulled away, his grip on her arm slack from surprise.

“Giles, You’ll always be my Watcher and I’ll always be your Slayer. But Dawn is my sister. Besides, you don’t imagine I plan to stay in the hands of those killers, do you? C’mon Giles, I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I thought I did too. Right up to the point where you dove into a portal of hell-light and killed yourself. I’ll find Angel and we’ll be right behind you. Try not to get hurt again, Buffy.”

 

Buffy smiled at Giles then. “That’s my Watcher! I’ll be expecting you two to come help me out, Giles. I have to go now.” She turned away and headed for the door as Giles grabbed his own coat and keys, heading for his rental car.

He knew the route Angel would probably take to the butcher shop and back, so he’d drive to get the vampire then meet up with Buffy.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Willow sat on the floor of the darkened room. Everything she gazed on in the darkness had a haze around it, like the edges were fuzzy. It had been that way since she absorbed all the magick of the books. Looking from one item to another, the now black-haired, dark eyed witch saw an ominous deep red glow start around one particular item. Buffy gave us that. Buffy… No, they will not have her!

Willow stood in the center of the room, extended her arms and began to turn. Slowly at first, but she picked up speed rapidly until she was a blur of color in the darkness. With a flash of green fire, the whirling witch vanished.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Buffy knocked on the door of the seemingly deserted building numbered 346 on Lakeside Drive. It was a street that had seen better days. The houses were large; but few were lived in and even those seemed as tumbled down, as ready to fall apart at the seams as the deserted ones. The old burned out factory was only a block away and Buffy wondered if the vampires in the neighborhood had caused the people to move away. Vamps certainly don’t increase the property values anywhere.

She raised a hand to knock on the door again, hearing the sound echo inside the virtually empty building. Long moments passed before the sensitive ears of the Slayer heard a shuffling sound on the other side of the door. It opened slowly about three inches as the barrel of a gun looked out.

“Step in front of the door and hold your hands out to the side.”

 

Buffy assumed the voice belonged to the unseen man holding the gun behind the cracked door, so she did as she was told. “I’m here like the note said, now release my sister.”

 

“D’you come alone?”

 

“Yes. Where is Dawn?”

 

“She’s fine, but if you don’t shut that hole in your face, she may not be fer long. Now turn around.”

 

Feeling the anger rising inside of her, Buffy clamped her teeth together, biting back the threats she wanted to make, and turning around as she was told. Within moments she heard movement behind her and was knocked to the ground by some blunt object slamming into her back between her shoulders.

Feet appeared next to her face, one of them moving to press hard on her neck, pinning her to the ground.

A second person grabbed Buffy’s hands, locking them into shackles before moving away enough to grasp her by both arms.

“Let’er go now.”

 

The gritty boot moved from her neck as the man behind picked her up from the ground. “Don’t weigh much and he’s worried about her?”

“Don’t let that fool you. She’s right dangerous. Get her inside.”

 

Buffy needed to find Dawn, needed Dawn to be all right, so she let the two men manhandle her into the building and down the stairs to the basement where she saw another of the black-clad men standing beside the chair where Dawn was tied.

“Soon as we get her tied up, you can let that one go, outside.”

 

Dawn looked at her sister, pleading with her eyes for the slender blonde Slayer not to sacrifice herself again. The teen knew better than to say anything around these men. The corner of her lip was swollen where they’d already struck her to hush her.

The man next to Dawn pulled a pillowcase over the teen’s head as the final knots in the rope securing Buffy were tied.

 

Working the knots loose from the ropes holding Dawn, the girl was finally released from her bonds. The Raptor caught her by one arm to lift her from the chair, her legs stiff from restricted circulation.

“Com’on. Ye best be going if ye’r gonna go at all.”

Practically dragging Dawn up the stairs, the man then shoved her into the waiting van where a final captor drove her several streets away before pushing her from the van to fall sitting in the street, pillowcase still over her head.

With shaking hands, Dawn pulled the cloth away, pausing to touch her bruised lip. She stood carefully on legs still unsure of themselves and looked around to see where she might be.

She didn’t recognize anything, but crept quickly and quietly to a tree, scooping up several branches she thought she could use for stakes if necessary. The area seemed deserted so far. It was wooded with no buildings of any kind in sight.

Hearing the sound of someone approaching, Dawn pressed back against the tree, branch in hand, ready to defend herself.

As the noise came closer, the teen almost fell from relief, then stepped into the path of the approaching demon.

“Agggghhhh! Dawnie, what are you doing here? Geeze, you almost scared me!”

 

“Clem, I’ve never been so glad to see anybody! Can you help me get home? I’ll tell you everything along the way.”

The saggy, wrinkled-skin demon took Dawn’s arm as he led her back the direction of her house. “Dawnie, it’s not a good idea to be out here so late. There’s all kinds of bad guys, oh and gals too, this time of night. What were you thinking, sweetie?”

 

“Clem, this may come as a surprise…”

 

 

~*~

 

 

Buffy looked at the third man as he entered the room. “Is my sister all right? She looked like someone hit her.”

One of the closest Raptors slapped Buffy across the mouth, splitting her lip slightly. “Yeah, and that’s how she got it too. Mouthin’ off just like you.”

“Don’t touch me again, you creep. Human or not, it won’t keep me from beating the crap out of you.”

 

The other man slapped her with a ringing blow to the side of her head as he laughed. “Won’t be doin’ a thing, luv. Those shackles are meant just for Slayers. You won’t be getting out of them; so unless you wanna be unconscious for your trip, you might wanna keep that hole shut like you was told.”

Buffy flexed her arms slightly, feeling the metal give. She took a deep breath and got ready. “Yeah, they might have been made for normal Slayers, but I’m not normal anymore. That’s why you were sent after me. You see, the problem is…” Buffy pulled her arms apart, breaking the bands that held her wrists as well as the ropes holding her to the chair and stood up, "… I’m Buffy.”

 

The men looked at each other in shock. This was not supposed to be possible.

But before anyone could move, a blast of air from inside, a glowing green flash, knocked all of them off their feet.

 

Buffy watched the area where the green fire had been and was the first to see the black-haired Willow standing there.

The witch turned, pointing a finger at the closest man. Fire flared from her fingertip, covering the man in a sheet of flame for seconds before he disappeared. There wasn’t even ash left to mark his passing.

Willow pointed to the next one as Buffy got to her feet, charging her friend.

“Willow, NO!”

With a sweep of her other hand, Willow pinned Buffy to the wall of the room and in quick succession blasted the other two men as well.

Lowering the hand, Buffy was released from the wall and fell to her knees before standing to face the woman who had been her best friend. “Willow, you can’t do that. They were human. Come back and let us help you.”

“I was the one to help you, Buffy. I brought you back; I won’t let them take you. I won’t let them hurt you.”

“I understand, Willow. I do. But you can’t kill humans, it’s murder.”

 

“And killing demons isn’t, Buffy? Do you think they don’t have families or friends or feelings? ‘If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?’ Tell me you could kill Spike or his wrinkled friend and it not be murder.”

“Willow... I don’t know what to tell you. But you just can’t kill -”

 

The door burst open as Angel and Giles charged inside. Angel kept going to tackle Willow, but Giles was shocked into hesitation by the woman’s altered appearance. “Willow -”

Angel flew across the room to hit the wall, sliding down into a vampire shaped lump on the floor.

Giles walked toward Willow, talking to her as Buffy hurriedly checked Angel, all while trying to keep an eye on her friend and her Watcher.

“Giles. So you wandered back again. Have a good trip and all that? Did you come for Buffy or Dawnie or just little ol’ me?”

“I came because I was needed. Let us help you, Willow. I was shocked to hear about Tara. I know you must be in terrible pain.”

Willow slashed the air with her hand, flinging Giles back into the wall next to Angel. “You know nothing! You have no idea how I feel!” She raised her hands and blew the ceiling of the room apart in a burst of green light.

Buffy tried again to move toward her friend. “I know, Willow. You know that I know. When I had to send Angel to hell, knowing you’d just given him back his soul, knowing the man I loved was back and that I had to kill him… I do know, Willow. Please let us help you.”

“Doing just fine now. Don’t think I need any help.”

 

“Willow… You do need help and we can all do that. We’re all here because we care about you and wish to help you.”

The new voice came from behind the witch.

 

Willow stepped sideways to turn her head slightly to see who had just spoken, yet managed to keep Buffy and the others in her peripheral vision.

“Wesley, right? Long time no see. Let’s keep it that way.” She turned her back to the ex-Watcher, dismissing him as any kind of threat. “I think I need to be going now, Buffy. Nice seeing you, Giles, Angel.”

Willow started turning again and in seconds that intense green fire flashed around her, leaving only an empty space where she had stood moments before.

 

“Well, well. People come and go so strangely here. Just what I’d expect of the Hellmouth. Hello, Mr. Giles, Buffy. Cordelia had a vision that sent us here and the light display above the house was an excellent guide.” Wesley deliberately ignored Angel.

Another unknown man moved into view beside the tall slender brunette.

“Does she work for those Council guys or is she one of my ex-employers' people?”

“Neither, Lindsey. She is, or rather was, it seems, one of Buffy’s best friends and a magick user of sorts. It seems she’s improved a great deal since I saw her last. I can’t say I care for her new look though.”

 

“Can we all just get out of here? I need to find Dawn. We can discuss all of this back at my house, please?” Buffy wondered if Dawn was all right, where she was, where Willow had gone… In fact, she had more questions than answers, which was very upsetting.

“Sure. I think we can all fit in Cordelia’s car. I can take everybody back to your place, if you just give directions,” Lindsey replied. He knew who Buffy was, of course. He’d recognized her from her description. He’s also seen surveillance photos of her in Angel’s file at Wolfram and Hart. The photos did nothing to convey how tiny and petite, or beautiful, she was. Nor did they even hint at the power that emanated from her small frame.

 

 

~*~

 

 ‘The sun ain't gonna shine anymore

The moon ain't gonna rise in the sky

The tears are always clouding your eyes

When you're without love

Baby emptiness is a place you're in

Nothing to lose

But no more to win’

 

 

They had all crammed into Cordelia’s car, with Lindsey driving. Buffy gave this unknown man directions to her house, sitting precariously perched on Angel’s knees.

One good breath by any of the occupants would have caused them to tumble from the small car; they were so tightly packed inside. Reaching the Summers’ house, they all scrambled out as quickly as possible before the vehicle had completely stopped in her driveway.

Charging through the doorway, Buffy saw Dawn sitting on the sofa with Clem, carefully nibbling potato chips from a bowl. The teen avoided one side of her mouth as much as possible.

 

The elder Slayer was washed with a wave of relief for her sister’s safety, then instantly assaulted by anger close on the heels of that “Dawn! You’re safe; you’re okay… Where the hell have you been!?”

Clem raised his hand and Dawn parted her swollen lips to speak just as Giles and Angel pulled Buffy into the kitchen.

“She’s all right, Buffy. Don’t yell at her for things that weren’t her fault.” Giles knew he had to be the voice of reason, having seen similar emotions in conflict on Angel’s face all too often where Buffy had been concerned.

“Let her know you’re glad she’s safe, then we need to figure a way to find Willow and stop her. Then we also have the Council’s threat breathing down our neck, as it were.”

Giles turned back to the living room, leaving Buffy to stare open-mouthed at Angel.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Spike woke lying on the hard damp floor of the cavern. His mouth felt gummy and tasted like someone had dragged a X’ool slime demon through it. He was also fairly sure they’d hit him in the head a few times with something at least mountain sized for good measure.

Reaching out in the darkness for the cavern wall, he felt a slight protrusion under his hand and slowly levered himself upward with its support.

 

The darkness spun inside his head as it protested that change in elevation. The vampire leaned against the cool dank wall, trying to convince his legs to steady themselves beneath him.

Once he felt surer of his ability to stand, Spike groped his way toward the seemingly distant

glimmer of light.

 

The air thundered around him, making his head pound harder with every step he took but he managed to find his way into the next cavern only to discover he was not alone.

“What? Who’s there?” Spike knew he was not able to handle any more battles. Besides, didn’t the demon tell him that he’d won?

A sibilant whisper answered him from the darkness. “‘Tis no one, ‘tis only I.”

 

“And who might you be? How do I get the bloody hell out of here?”

 

“Ah, ‘tis simple. Follow the light. But beware, Worthy.” The giggling of that hissing voice was very disturbing to Spike in his weakened condition.

“Beware of what? I’m finished with my challenges.”

 

“All but one, all but one. The one you carry inside. That you must yet learn, then command.”

 

“What tha’ bleedin’ hell are you babblin’ ‘bout?”

 

“I can only tell you that which I was told."

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought --

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head

He went galumphing back.

`And has thou slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

O frabjous day! Calloh! Callay!

He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.'

 

The whispered giggling faded, leaving Spike to feel he was alone. Except there was still that rasping breath somewhere close by and the constant thunder in his head.

In a thoroughly foul mood, he yelled at the unseen lurker. “What tha’ hell does that twaddle mean? It’s a damned kid’s poem that never made sense even then!”

His only answer was the pounding of his head and the breathing that surrounded him.

 

 

~*~

 

 

 “All right, so how do all of you plan to find Willow? I’ve not been able to find her yet.” Buffy sounded belligerent even to herself.

“Ah, if I can add something here? I think that green glow we can see on the horizon might be a good place to start?” Lindsey tried to sound as innocent as possible as he looked out the window toward the wavering glow over the treetops.

“Okay, so we can find her. Looks like it’s over toward the campus. But once we find her, what then, bright boy?”

 

Angel smiled inside, making sure to keep the sentiment off his face. He’d already felt the brunt of Buffy’s irascible temper more than once that night. Let Lindsey catch it for once, might even do him good.

 

“I think that we might be able to put our heads together to come up with something to calm her or perhaps neutralize her magick long enough to get past her anger. We do have four people here that are capable of magick. Surely joined we might devise som -”

 

The quiet knock on the front door caused all of them to jump, as the sudden unexpected sound seemed to thunder through the room. Each one looked at the others, waiting for someone else to answer the door, but no one moved.

“Fine, it’s my damned door anyway.” Buffy stormed to the front door; almost snatching it off the hinges as she angrily wrenched it open.

A lone, pale, slender man stood there wearing an outfit almost a century out of date. “I was told I might locate Mr. Giles here?” He was soft-spoken with a cultured voice.

“Who’s asking for him?” Buffy asked the man, suspicion obvious in her manner and voice. She made a firm rule to not trust pale men anywhere, especially in Sunnydale.

“Please advise him I bear an item to him from Yanni. I was told it was of the utmost importance.”

The name was one that Buffy recognized. She opened the door further as Giles hurried toward it, having heard Yanni’s name.

“Would you like -” Buffy felt it would be all right to invite this vampire in, considering who had sent him, but he interrupted her before she could issue the invitation.

“NO! I apologize for my abruptness. Please do not finish that invitation lest those more than myself seek me out and use your kindness to unscrupulous ends. Your courtesy is appreciated however.”

“Oh. Okay. I mean, I’m sorry that I can’t -”

 

Giles interrupted Buffy as she attempted to apologize for being unable to ask the vampire inside.

“Buffy, I’ll just step outside. Angel will you consent to come with me?”

The dark-haired brooding vampire nodded in agreement and followed the Watcher out on the porch.

 

“She who sent me asked that I give you this. We have sheltered it for long and longer, yet she sent word you would have need of it tonight at this time.” The vampire handed a small bundle to Giles, who carefully unwrapped it as everyone crowded around the door watching. Angel, standing beside Giles, simply looked over his shoulder.

Inside an outer layer of rough material was a hand-sewn bag of deep green silk. Resting in the bag was a four-inch long, slender crystal, the thickness of Giles’ thumb.

The stone glowed from within with a milky opalescence.

Giles held the crystal carefully in his hand as he stared at it. “What does it do?”

“It will absorb the witch’s powers without harm to her, although it will render her unconscious from the shock of withdrawal. The energy must then be re-directed back into the earth and the crystal soaked overnight in salt water exposed to the light of the moon. We shall retrieve the stone in a few days. Shall I advise Yanni that this may be helpful?”

“Yes. Yes, by all means please do and thank her for her generous loan of the artifact. This is the Crystal of Luna, is it not?”

“Yes. Luna being another aspect of Selene.”

Giles looked into the vampire’s face, startled. “Yes. I see. Most appropriate. Thank her again for us. Is there anything else we may do for you tonight?”

“No. This was my task as its Keeper.”

 

“Ah, before you leave… Can we talk for a couple of minutes please?” Angel asked the other vampire.

“It would be an honor to talk to one who is legend to us.”

Giles stepped back inside as Angel and the unknown vampire of the Kalderash stepped out to the yard.

“I think we have the means now. Shall we decide how to go about this?”

 

 

~*~

 

In the darkened less-used rooms of the keep, a lone man waited impatiently. The call should come anytime now, he felt sure. He’d abandoned his own rooms and offices for the night, as he waited, knowing that others might not agree with him yet he was certain he could convince them once he had proof to show them.

As he paced the floor for another countless time, the long awaited summons finally came.

 

He snatched the receiver of the telephone to his ear, almost breathless as he anticipated his triumph.

“Do you have them?”

 

“Ah, no. We had the new one, but once we got the other one... Well, we let the new one go. You did say to tell’er we’d do that. And there has to be one. So we was gonna bring the other, but -”

“You did what?” The voice was cold, each word spoken slowly, carefully and clearly. “I said… both of them. The note was only to get the other one there, it was a lie! What part of ‘both’, gave you problems?”

“Well, there has to be one. You know that. It’s what we do, what we are -”

 

“I gave you a damned bloody ORDER! I want them BOTH!”

 

“Well, like I was tryin’ ta tell you. Some witch showed up and killed everyone else  ‘cept me. I heard them talkin’ ‘bout it. Tha’ place was full o’all kinds of people, so I listened at a window... to know what was ‘appenin’. Tha’ witch...  she’d a gotten me too if’n I’d not been in the van, releasing tha’ new one. There’s nobody else to get them, G’v’nor.”

“Fine. Don’t worry about it at all. I’ll take care of it.” The voice was deeper somehow, colder, clipped, each word had it’s own crystalline shadow as it fell into the chilled air. “They will take care of you as well, if you have not had the courage to do so. I’d suggest you handle that first thing. They won’t be nearly as civilized as I’m sure you will be.”

The pale hand darted out to sever the connection with the push of a button.

 

A fine sheen of icy sweat covered the brow of Quentin Travers as he stood, trembling in the middle of the room.

They failed me. ME! I rule here and that damned bitch… Thinks she can just die and come back whenever she damned well feels like it! All our work for a new Slayer and we get that whelp of a sister she has… Something damned odd there, too. Never showed any record of a sister before the last year or so... Why HER!? Two bleedin’ Summers women... I’ll show them what it’s like to bleed, I will. Likes the vampires, does she? Well, I think I have just the monster for her… and her little sister too!

 

Quentin Travers, the head of the Council of Watchers, had become so consumed by his unreasonable hatred of Buffy Summers and everyone associated with her that he finally lost the small remaining hold on reality he’d clung to so tightly.

Still trembling as he muttered to himself, he picked up the bottle of port from the hall console as he walked out the door of the keep and into the night.

The only coherent thought in his razed mind was to kill Buffy Summers.

 

 

~*~

 

 

 ‘scattered my thoughts

like dry leaves before me

blown and cut to shreds’

 

 

The wall in front of Spike felt the same as all of the others around him in this black cavern. The only difference was the thin hot breath of air that puffed through a crack close to his face.

 

It had to be the rock he knew he’d have to move to escape this forsaken Hellhole.

Bloody rock is ‘alf the damned bleedin’ wall! Only tha’ soddin’ demon would call this thing a ‘boulder'.

Spike hoped that once he was out of the domain of this demon that relentless pounding in his head, and the breathing of the coward watching him, would finally disappear as well.

 

Shaking his hands and arms, Spike took in several breaths to prepare for the effort he knew it would take to push this rock away.

Laying hands on its rough-pitted surface, he started pushing against the barrier.

 

After several minutes, the small headway he’d made was only detectable because of the increased air against his skin.

It was still hot and dry, thin and tasting of dust.

“Not gonna be stopped by a bloody rock! Not now. Not when I’m so close. Gonna show that bitch what she gets for playin’ games with William the Bloody.”

Spike laid hands on the slightly indented surface and pulled his anger around him like a cloak as he put everything into the next push. “Bloody well gonna show HER!”

 

He felt the boulder move under his hands, dust and debris falling all around him. The massive stone continued to grate slowly and loudly from its niche as Spike finally stood back in anticipation of freedom.

 

It seemed to take forever for the huge section of the cavern wall to work its way to the edge of its shallow tunnel, like a plug in a bottle, but in actuality was less than a minute. The enormous boulder clung to the edge of its centuries long resting place before finally tilting outward in a sudden, crashing movement that flooded the cavern with bright midday African sunlight, bathing the blonde vampire in the intense light.

 

 

~*~

 

 “So we all know our separate parts in this now?” Giles asked the group. They’d only been over the plan three times already, once the separate ideas had been hammered into a feasible whole.

“I think we have a thorough understanding, Rupert. If we do not at this point -" Wesley reassured his counterpart.

“All right. I get your point. Shall we go?”

 

Dawn fell into step with them as everyone moved toward the doorway. Buffy stopped and looked at her sister.

“Dawn, I think you should stay here. Clem can stay with you.”

 

“No, Buffy. I’m the Slayer. This is my job too, and Willow is my friend.”

Buffy recognized the defiant look on the teen’s face. She’d seen it often enough in her own mirror.

 

“Buffy, as Dawn’s Watcher, I have to agree with her. This is her job as well and Willow is her friend too. Dawn may as well start learning some of the harder parts now.” Wesley had finally accepted the role they had asked of him and was determined to assert his own authority rather than simply follow the others.

“But -” Buffy began, but was silenced quickly by a simple look from Giles and the cool touch of Angel’s hand on her shoulder. “Fine. But if you get killed, don’t expect me to revive you!” The small blonde Slayer told her sister, shrugged off Angel’s hand, and huffed out the door ahead of them.

 

“Ah, you don’t think this Willow is gonna kill me, do you?” Lindsey had been a bit nervous as soon as he’d learned what the others expected him to do in this plan.

“We hope to have her calmed enough to be safe at that point, Lindsey.” Angel tried to reassure the young lawyer he still was unsure if he even liked.

“Great. Just peachy! Here’s to calm witches.” Lindsey McDonald walked out the door, car keys in hand.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Reaching the Sunnydale campus, Lindsey slowed the car, glancing around for more directions.

“That way. That’s where Tara’s room was and I think Willow would be there... with her things.” Buffy pointed out the building for the young lawyer.

Everyone in the car could hear the haunted sadness that underlined every word. Two of the men even understood the reason.

Giles twisted enough to lay a hand on Buffy’s arm, letting her know he knew the memories this was raising for her as well. The Slayer gently squeezed his hand as she again sat perched carefully on the knees of the man she had loved and had killed with her own hand.

 

Wesley suggested Lindsey park the car a short way from the building so they could approach on foot. “How quiet do we need to be?” Lindsey asked as he maneuvered the car into a nearby space.

Giles was the one that answered the question they all thought but Lindsey had voiced. “The quiet is simply for the students. I imagine Willow already knows we’re here.”

Several groans and a sigh could be heard in the silence that followed Giles’ statement.

 

The six people eased from the packed car, heading up the walkway to the building. Giles and Buffy took the lead, Angel right behind them. Wesley had motioned Dawn to walk beside him as he quietly gave his new charge terse instructions, leaving Lindsey to trail along behind them all.

Once inside and upstairs, Buffy went straight to Tara’s room and knocked on the door.

It opened instantly. Buffy saw Willow sitting on the foot of the bed, as she held an object in her hands.

“Will, can I come in and talk to you, please?”

 

“Why? To convince me not to do what I have to do? To not wipe out the rest of the scum that crosses our paths and threatens more of the people I care about?”

“No. Actually, I wanted to talk about Tara. I miss her too, Will.”

Giles stepped up next to Buffy. “I want to talk about this too, Willow. I... I considered Tara a friend, like the rest of you. I too shall miss her.”

“And you, Angel, don’t tell me you’ll miss Tara. You didn’t even know her.” Willow felt the vampire’s presence even though he wasn’t in direct sight.

The dark-haired vampire stepped into sight, looking more dark than normal. “No, Willow. I simply wanted to talk to you. I know what this can do, how it can make you feel. I’ve been there before... Hell, I’ve done much worse than you have because of things like this.”

“Yeah, we all know about Angelus-the-scourge-of-Europe. I got a first hand glimpse, if you’ll remember. Even if it was slightly sideways at the time.” The bitterness twisted around her words as she remembered feeling helpless as Angelus held her life in his hands years before.

“I know and I’m sorry, Willow. I was thinking of much more recent events though.” Angel knew this would be a surprise to Buffy and Giles. He saw their backs stiffen in unison even though they dared not turn around.

 

Willow rose gracefully from her seat on the bed, the object still in her hands. “Sure. Why not? I can handle all of you as easily as I did those men back there. Bet you’d be kinda like dry tinder, huh, Angel?”

The laugh was hurtful and meant to be.

 

Giles, Buffy and Angel moved into the room. Angel leaned against the wall as Buffy walked toward the black-haired, black-eyed witch and Giles stepped carefully to the closest shelf. He’d noticed an object there that just might help them.

With the doorway empty now, Dawn and Wesley stepped through it and into the room as well, with Lindsey drifting quietly behind them.

“Well, well. The gangs all here, I see. Didn’t wanna see you again, Wes. Once tonight was too much. Sorry. And you... I don’t know you. Who are you?" Willow turned that black-as-space gaze towards Lindsey.

“I’m just the chauffeur tonight. But I know what Angel is talking about. I was there, and it was a pretty nasty thing. My ex-firm was responsible for getting someone he cared about turned.”

Ummm, Buffy doesn’t know about that, I see.  Lindsey had caught the further stiffening of her back as she stood just a tiny bit taller. He’d guess Angel was in for a chewing out later… provided they all lived through this.

“Well, ‘chauffeur’, you gotta name? And what was this big 'nasty' Angel did to you?” Willow sounded almost cheerful at the thought of Angel’s trouble.

“Lindsey. Lindsey McDonald. And I’m one of the lawyers he locked in a wine cellar with two vampires. Because my ex-firm brought Darla back, then had Druscilla turn her. Guess he thought it was fair if they had all of us for a late night snack.”

Angel lunged at the lawyer. He’d not wanted Buffy to find out that way! He wasn’t sure what way would have been good, but not that way.

 

Willow laughed and flicked one hand, tossing the vampire into the wall he’d previously been leaning against. “Naughty, Angel. A nice touch, and look! Little Buffy didn’t know how bad Angel had been or about Darla -”

“Willow, I knew about Darla. Remember when Cordelia was here a while back? She told me about Darla.”

“Perhaps we might all change the subject and calm down a bit? This isn’t why we are here. We came because of a friend we shall all miss and one who is hurting.” Giles reached for the shelf and picked up the object he’d looked at before. “I remember this, Willow. It’s a special stand I’d ordered for Tara for her crystal ball you have in your hand. I remember how thrilled she was with it.”

Giles turned as Willow walked toward him, turning her back slightly toward Lindsey, who simply stood where he had been.

“She loved it. It was a good choice for her. When she opened it, she sat and looked at it for hours, pointing out details to me. The way the trees meshed, the branches intertwined and cupped the orb like a hand. I was almost jealous, Giles. But it was for the crystal ball I’d gotten her.” Willow had walked close enough to touch the stand with a fingertip as Giles held it in his hands. “It was expensive, Giles.”

“Yes, frightfully so. But she had admired it in the catalogue. Her face had the most wistful expression as she looked at the picture. I wanted to get it for her, as I knew no one else could afford to do so.”

Buffy stood almost between Willow and Giles, having stepped closer as they talked.

She reached out to touch the stand with a single fingertip like Willow had done. “I know that’s why you gave it to her before the party. So no one would know how much you’d spent. She was a special person. I’ll miss her too. She was the first person to know about Spike and me. I… I had a question and I went to ask her. She figured out really quick that it was about Spike and why I was asking.”

 

Angel had moved to the other side of the group, facing Buffy as he stood almost between Giles and Willow. “That’s what it was like when the law firm had Druscilla turn Darla. They did it in front of me, held me down. She’d been given a second chance to be something other than a vampire and they took that away. I was never in love with her, but I felt I had an obligation to her after all those years. I was more than just angry with them for that. So I shut Darla and Dru in the wine cellar with them once she rose again. Darla cared about Lindsey, which is why he’s alive.”

“Yeah? I don’t think Tara knew what had happened. I suddenly had her blood on my shirt and she was worried about that. Then she just fell.”

Buffy took a deep breath and laid her other hand on Willow’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Will. I had no idea about that. I know it hurts.”

Angel followed Buffy’s lead and placed his hand on the witch’s other shoulder. “It’s hard enough when someone you care for dies, but to have it happen in front of you, to be helpless…” He looked into Buffy’s eyes for a second, then back at Willow.

“That’s why we are here, Willow. To share with you and help if we can.” Giles told the former redhead, keeping her attention as Lindsey, who had shifted gradually behind the girl, stepped up quickly and placed the Crystal of Luna against her back.

 

Wesley moved in step with the lawyer and touched the back of her head as he began the incantation. Buffy and Angel gripped Willow’s shoulders and her arms as Giles held her hands folded in on themselves.

 

 

~*~

 

‘All that I want to say has been said before

So I’m glad you know just what I mean

Your groans express the way I feel right now

'Cause above all else I want to be

And everything is holy, holy, holy

I will not have to fear anymore

All I'll be capable of will be holy, holy, holy, holy

And I will, I will not shame your name anymore

I want to be, I want to be’

 

 

The intense sunlight enveloped Spike as he cried out; throwing an arm across his eyes, expecting to burst into flames any second.

Instead, he was bathed in the warmth of the light, followed closely by the intense heat of the air outside the cave.

 

Spike slowly lowered his arm, looking carefully at his hand, then both hands, his arms, trying to turn to see all of himself. He held a hand over his eyes, fingers slightly parted, as he looked up at the sun. He stood bathed in it’s light for the first time in over one hundred and twenty years, as tears ran down his face. Partly from the intensity of the light, partly from sheer disbelief.

Finally he stepped back into the edge of the cave, turning to look at the darkness inside.

He wiped the tears from his face, seeing the slightly pink stain on his hands. “What the bloody hell have you done to me? What am I?”

There was only silence.

 

The slender blonde yelled the questions again into the darkness, panting at the intensity of his scream.

Panting. Breathing. I’m breathing. How tha’ hell am I breathing? Why am I breathing?

 

He laid his hand over his chest and felt the beating of his own heart.

A heartbeat? I can’t have a heartbeat... That pounding in my head… it’s still there... A heartbeat…

 

Two and two finally made four for Spike as he understood that HE was the source of the rasping breath that had followed him. His heart beating was the reason he’d heard the pounding sound in his head. He was hearing his own blood circulating, pumping.

 

The voice was unexpected when it finally came. “You have what you asked for. You are as you were before, or as close to that as I can change you. You are someone the Slayer can love, as you love her. You breathe, your heart beats, you will no longer crave blood; yet you are still a vampire of sorts, much like the Slayer. You need no longer fear the sunlight. Your strength, hearing, sense of smell, vision and speed remain. You are effectively a ‘day-walker’.” The voice chuckled, an evil slithery sound. “And, oh yes… You have your soul back as well. We are finished now.”

 

Spike’s cry was drown in the crash of falling rocks, completely sealing the inner chamber of the cavern. “A soul? You gave me a bleedin’ soul?! I’m almost human again?!”

 

Spike threw himself away from the crashing boulders to the hot sandy ground. His new situation finally hit him full force, along with the beginning memories of the faces of those he’d killed.

 “Aarrrgggghhhhhh!!!!”

 

 

~*~

 

 

Willow’s struggle was brief as the crystal and the invocation worked quickly to pull the power from her body.

As the energy was absorbed into the crystal, the darkness faded from her hair and eyes. It filled the stone, darkening the stone as Lindsey held it firmly against her back even as it heated, burning his hand and Willow’s back.

When her hair once again its familiar red hue, Willow collapsed into the arms of those holding her.

Wesley barely caught Lindsey in time to keep the younger man’s head from hitting a table as he too collapsed.

“Lindsey! Open your eyes! Are you all right?” Without turning, Wesley instructed Dawn over his shoulder. “Run. Get two wet cloths. I need one and so will Giles, Dawn.”

The new Slayer complied, without question this time.

 

Lindsey and Willow had their faces gently wiped with a cool cloth and both were showing signs of consciousness, although different signs.

Willow had crumpled into the arms of her best friend, the Watcher and the vampire while she cried as though her heart would break further; as if she could cry pieces of herself out to stop the pain that threatened to steal the very breath she needed to cry.

 

Lindsey groaned as he struggled to sit up; his hand still clasped tightly around the crystal. “Do I need to keep holding this or can we put it somewhere?”

“I have the silk. That should insulate it.” Wesley reached into an inner pocket to pull out a large silk square, holding it out to the lawyer where he still lay on the floor.

Opening his hand carefully, Lindsey rolled the crystal into the fabric. Wesley gave an exclamation of surprise at the heat he felt through the silk he’d used to wrap the stone.

“This is hot! Let me see your hand.”

 

Lindsey sat up carefully, and held out his right hand, opening it slowly and carefully. The entire palm was reddened and blistered, but the center where the stone had lain, was darkened from the heat of the stone and fortunately not from what the crystal had absorbed.

“Oh my word! We need to treat that. Hold this damp cloth in your hand if you can manage it. It’s cool and will help remove some of the heat.”

That done, the slender brunette Watcher advised the others of a possible burn on Willow’s back as he assisted Lindsey to his feet.

Wesley motioned Dawn over. She helped her new Watcher support Lindsey as they got him to a chair.

The young Slayer stayed with the ex-lawyer while Wesley stepped over to check Willow’s back. The others had their hands full with the crying witch.

 

The burn on Willow’s back was not as severe as Lindsey’s hand, but both needed medical care.

“Let’s get her back to Buffy and Dawn’s so we can treat this burn. Lindsey’s hand is even worse.”

Nodding, Giles motioned for Angel and Buffy to help him get the sobbing Willow up from their cramped place on the floor. “I’ll take her.”

Angel shifted the small redhead into the arms of the Watcher and she tucked her head into Giles’ shoulder.

 

Standing on the front lawn of the dormitory, they realized that not everyone would fit into Cordelia’s small car. Lindsey couldn’t drive with his hand as it was, so they finally decided that Wesley would drive Dawn, Lindsey and Angel back to the Summer’s house, then come back for Buffy, Giles and Willow.

The latter trio found a bench under a light as they waited for Wesley’s return.

Willow’s sobs began to slow as Buffy and Giles talked to her constantly.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Spike stared at the expanse of sun-baked terrain in front of him. It looked much like what was behind him as he headed west toward that same blindingly bright sun, trying to find a village, someplace, anyplace except in the sweltering heat.

The small village he’d passed through getting to the cavern was nowhere to be found.

 

Dusk was starting to encroach on the land when he finally saw a few lights in the distance. Spike knew that darkness would fall swiftly and tried to hurry.

An hour or so later, finally reaching the village, he was horribly thirsty. His skin was red and hurt, and this time the pounding in his head was from a headache.

The slender blonde man staggered into the sparse lighting toward one of the men, trying to ask for something to drink with a throat too dry to do more than croak.

 

The startled villager ran for the hut behind him, disappearing inside. Spike felt the wave of disappointment and frustration surge over him, then recede as the man reappeared with a large gourd. Two more men and a woman holding a small rough clay pot in her hands followed him.

The men helped move Spike to a mat on the ground at the entrance of the hut then the man offered the gourd, holding it as the blonde drank the cool-ish water.

The woman had moved beside him and had started smearing a pungent smelling cool mixture over his reddened skin.

The first man finally spoke in halting, broken English. “You... English?  Lost?  Drink... eat... Mabena… crème for burning.  Sleep after...  Find help… tomorrow. Yes?”

 

Spike stopped drinking for a moment to answer the man. “Yes, help please. The drink is good. Food, yes. Sleep, yes.”  He turned to look at the woman who ducked her head and wouldn’t meet his eyes.

 “Thank you for this.” He nodded at the arm where the woman had already smeared some of the crème. The pain of his sunburn was less already. “Better. It doesn’t hurt as much.”

The woman looked shyly at him, sideways. “Welcome. Food, I get.”

 

A short time later, with another gourd of water beside him, some kind of meat in a flatbread wrapping inside of him, and the pot of crème next to him for the next application to his sunburn, Spike lay down on the matting and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

 

 

~*~

 

 

The room had finally been cleaned and all evidence of Tara’s death cleared away.

Dawn helped Buffy get Willow into bed.

Then Buffy turned to go downstairs and sort out beds for everyone else while Dawn stayed with Willow.

“Buffy?”

Buffy moved back to the bed, taking her friend’s hand. “What, Will? What do you need? What can I get for you?”

“That guy… Lindsey? Is his hand okay?”

 

“It’ll be all right, they said. He’s left-handed so it’s good that it’s his right one. Are you okay? I’m gonna go divvy out sleep space then I’ll be back.”

“Buffy? Can Angel stay with me tonight? I mean… I wanted to talk and he’s -”

 

“It’s okay, Will. He’s a safe guy to stay with and he can tell you about where both of you have been. I understand. It’s fine.” Buffy kissed her friend on the forehead then went to divvy out sleep space. Angel was getting the spot next to Willow.

 

 

~*~

 

 

‘Then I knew

In the crystalline knowledge of you -

Drove me through the mountains

Through the crystal-like

Clear water fountain

Drove me like a magnet

To the sea...

How the faces of love have changed

Turning the pages,

And I have changed, oh, but you -

You remain ageless’

 

 

Willow slept fitfully that night, but Angel was always awake when she’d wake and they’d talk. They talked most of the night.

 

Finally the next morning, Willow was prepared to go downstairs. Not ready...  just prepared.

She had to talk to Lindsey. She had to talk to everyone, actually, but then most of all to Giles.

 

At the bottom of the stairs, the first person Willow saw was Lindsey. He was sitting on the sofa; his right hand swathed in bandages, resting on his knee, as he sipped from a coffee cup with pictures of splashing dolphins on the side.

Taking a deep breath, Willow walked toward him, going around the coffee table to sit carefully on the sofa beyond the young man.

“Your…”

 

“Are you…”

 

Both had tried to speak at once to ease the tension between them.

Lindsey laughed. “You first, Willow.”

“Ah... Okay. I just... I wanted to know if your hand was okay? I mean... Buffy said that it would be okay but… I needed to ask.”

“Well, it’s not feeling real great, but the doctor that looked at it last night said it would be fine. Something about that it hurt so much meaning the nerves were fine and working. You hav’ta wonder about that kind of thinking.”

The slender redhead chuckled in spite of her self. He’d sounded so chagrined about the reassurances from the doctor. “Yeah. Kinda like telling you that it’ll feel much better when it stops hurting.”

 

Willow sat up slightly straighter and looked at the young man. He was attractive, older than her, nice blue eyes and a pleasant smile. His brown hair still looked rumpled from sleep. She finally looked up to meet his eyes. “I wanted to thank you for what you did… You didn’t know me but you risked yourself to help my friends save me. I… I know saying thank you isn’t enough, but it’s all I have to offer you.”

“It’s enough. I’ve been in pretty bad places myself, like you were. People I’d never have expected to help me, did.”

“Lindsey, sorry to interrupt, but… Willow, you may have something else to offer this young man.”

Giles had walked into the room to stand looking at the young woman he felt he’d failed. “No, just listen.” He held up a hand to stop her protests. “We need to see if you have any ability left after last night and the last few days. There is training you need... I should have done so long before now, but I forgot to learn from my own mistakes. The first rule of magick I should have told you long ago, Willow, is that you never use it on someone without their permission. Since Lindsey’s hand would benefit from some healing, we can see what ability you have left and you can start that first lesson.”

 

The redhead blushed at the words of the man she’d always respected and had tried to injure previously. “It wasn’t your fault, Giles. It... it was mine. T... T... Tara…” Her voiced cracked on the name of her lost lover, but Willow knew she had to accept what had happened, to try to learn and grow. It was what Tara would have wanted for her. “Tara tried to tell me the same thing and I just didn’t listen.” Willow turned back to look at Lindsey. “Will you let me to try to heal the damage you suffered to help me?”

Lindsey simply nodded his head as he extended his bandaged wrapped hand toward her.

 

Giles watched, ready to intervene if necessary, as Willow gently took the injured hand between her own, raising it toward her face as she asked, “Lady, I ask your forgiveness for my mistakes. Grant me the grace that is yours that I might heal this one who was injured in helping me.”

The redheaded witch inhaled deeply and blew gently on Lindsey’s injured hand where she held it between her own.

She felt the swell of power from within her as it slipped into her breath and surrounded the young lawyer’s burned hand. Tiny sparks danced between their hands as the air warmed from the magick she exhaled.

 

Lindsey felt the surge of energy from the woman next to him, gently holding his burned hand close to her face. He felt the warmth of her breath through the bandages on his hand. The pain in his palm eased while small sparks of light flickered around his hand held between hers.

As the pain all but vanished, she began to slowly slump forward toward him, releasing his hand.

 

Lindsey tried to catch her with his arm, still afraid to use his injured hand and the coffee cup occupying his good hand.

The older man, Giles, moved more quickly than Lindsey would have expected, grabbing the witch before she actually fell.

 

Giles caught Willow, picked her up and laid her on the far end of the sofa, her feet angled off the edge toward the floor since Lindsey still sat on the other end of the couch.

Within moments, the redhead’s eyes fluttered as she struggled back to consciousness.

“Willow, are you all right?”

 

“Uhhhhh, yeah. I think so, Giles.” She struggled to sit up, embarrassed to find herself in the Watcher’s arms.

Quickly releasing her, Giles stood. “I’ll get you a glass of juice. I suspect we have work to do on energy use as well, now that we know you still have your magickal ability.” Glancing at the young man, Giles tried to reassure him as well. “Allow me to get her something to drink and we’ll check your hand. Does it feel all right?”

“Feels almost normal. Yeah, she looks a bit paler than when she started. I can wait a minute or two.”

 

 

~*~

 

 

 

Buffy had gone into the kitchen in an attempt to find a cup of coffee and jolt herself awake. Sleep had been elusive for most of the night and the few minutes here and there she did manage, had been filled with disjointed images of Spike, a cavern and sunlight. She’d hear his cries and would wake shaking. She missed him more than she had ever imagined she could miss the annoying peroxide vampire. The dreams had kept her on edge all night, so she woke as tired as she’d gone to bed. As the blonde Slayer entered the kitchen, Giles hugged her briefly on his way out to the living room where Buffy heard Willow’s voice as the redhead talked to Lindsey.

 

The petite blonde’s nose led her unerringly to the fresh pot of coffee on the counter, sitting next to a steaming teapot that let her know that Giles had his first caffeine dose for the morning as well.

She filled a cup, added sugar and creamer before moving to the small table to sit just as the basement door opened.

Buffy turned quickly, sloshing her coffee across her hand as she looked at the opening door, but her heart fell when she saw it was Angel and not the blonde vampire she’d hoped for.

Angel handed her a paper towel then took the chair next to her. “Are you all right, Buffy? I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I’m just tired. I didn’t sleep well and I wasn’t expecting anyone to be down there.”

 

“Are you sure? You had a bright expression on your face, that just seemed to vanish and you look upset.”

 

“Yeah... Well, probably a left over of the icky dreams. Never know what will show up in that basement.”

“Ah, Buffy... There is something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.” Angel ducked his head slightly while Buffy raised her eyebrows in silent question marks. “The last day or so... Well, I know we were short on space in the car and all, but…” The brunette vampire took in a deep and unneeded breath. “It’s just that with you sitting in my lap and all -”

“What? You thought that because I’d perched on your knees that I was sitting in your lap? That because I was there that it meant I wanted to... to what, Angel? Start something between us again that still couldn’t go anywhere? That because Spike and I had a fight and he’s gone who the hell knows where, that I’d just turn back to you?”

 

Although he’d not been around Buffy much over the last couple of years, Angel still remembered the note of irritation in her voice and recognized the rapidly rising anger underneath it. She does seem to get ‘brassed off’, as Spike would say, a lot faster now than ever before.  “I thought that since we still care about each other, and now that some time has passed, maybe we might try again.”

“We’ve done this number, Angel. We said everything there was to say on the subject. We have nowhere to go that’s forward. You left me; remember? There was that whole deal about what you couldn’t give me and how you wanted me to have a normal life? Well, I’ll never have a normal life. I’ve not had one since I was Called, Angel. I’m NOT normal! Now I’ve died twice, three times, count however many you want, I’ll probably get to that number sooner or later around here. A normal life?”

 

Having stood as the anger inside rose, now Buffy was attempting to pace a hole in the floor in a space about three feet by four feet as she raged at Angel’s suggestion.

“Normal? Like as in getting married and having kids? That kind of normal? Hell, Angel, I can’t even manage to stay alive for an uninterrupted stretch of time, much less have kids. You’re the one out boinking your ex and having kids, remember?”

Angel grabbed a moment while Buffy took a breath, gathering more ire around her. “Buffy, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just thought that since you’d... That we -”

“No! Being comfortable enough to trust you enough to perch on you when seating is short is NOT an invitation to do anything else. I thought we’d solved this. I thought we’d agreed to be friends. I thought you understood that I’m in love with Spike!”

 

The blonde Slayer turned on her heel and stormed out of the room, up the stairs and slammed the door to her room hard enough to bounce the coffee cup she’d left on the table in the kitchen, sloshing cooling coffee in a sticky run across the tabletop.

Angel sat still, shocked at the things Buffy has said to him, shocked at the strength of her anger. He had no idea what to do about her outburst, so he just sat.

 

“Angel… I’m sorry about that. I did try to warn you. I thought Cordelia had explained to you what has happened to Buffy.” Giles stood behind and to one side of the bewildered vampire. Angel hadn’t even heard the Watcher enter the room behind him and didn’t turn around now as he just gazed at the pool of coffee in front of him.

“She did, Giles, but I had no idea that this was what she meant. Maybe she didn’t tell me enough or I just didn’t hear enough of what she said.”

“It’s hard to hear things we don’t like about those we care for. Give me a moment to take some juice to Willow and check Lindsey’s hand. I’ll get a cup of tea and I think we should talk about this. Perhaps you might handle the coffee while I do so?” Giles inclined his head slightly at the slowly cooling puddle.

 

 

~*~

 

Spike woke as the first rays of the sunlight brushed his face with warmth. The century old reaction to recoil was still active; but he fought the movement, lying on the matting and watching the sun crest the horizon.

The pain of his sunburn reminded him of his previous day and Spike pulled himself to his feet carefully.

Feel almost as sore as when that Glory bint tried to kill me.

 

He spread another coating of the Mabena crème on his reddened flesh, drank a bit of tepid, brackish water from the gourd, and walked a short way away from the village to a small stand of trees that would serve as a makeshift relief station.

 

Making his way back to the matting he’d slept on, the blonde poured the remainder of the water over his hands and head, then felt marginally better. He caught himself just in time as he’d started to shake his head to fling the remaining wetness from him, just as the village woman from the previous night emerged from the hut. She looked shyly at the slender blonde and handed him a large leaf wrapped around something that Spike thought smelled wonderful!

Carefully thanking her first, he opened the leaf to discover more of the flat bread wrapped around some kind of roast meat and what appeared to be a kind of cooked root. Biting carefully into the hot offering, Spike savored the taste of the food.

The woman had retreated back into her hut when he had taken the food from her; but she reemerged in moments with two more of the gourds tied together with braided palm fronds, a small string basket of some kind with another leaf wrapped bundle, and a second small pot that looked like the one she’d called Mabena for his sunburn.

 

Spike wolfed down the remainder of his meal and took the items she offered him. The woman then squatted on the ground and, picking up a stick, motioned to him to look at the lines she scratched into the gritty dirt.

It appeared to be a map of some kind to Spike and he looked at the woman, his face full of questions.

 

She struggled to make him understand in her few words of English. “Sun... Go... You... Home.” She pointed to the bundle she had given him. “Help. Wel... come. Home.”

Finally understanding that she was trying to help him find his home and sending him off with more crème for his pale but reddened skin, food and water. Spike stood. The woman got to her feet as well.

“Thank you. Thank you much.” On a sudden unexplained impulse, the vampire leaned over and lightly kissed the dark wrinkled cheek of the village woman then turned and headed the way she had pointed him.

Home was exactly where he wanted to go.

 

Home… and Buffy.

 

 

~*~

 

After Giles and Angel had talked for about an hour, with Giles trying to explain to the perplexed brunette vampire the enormous changes that had occurred in Buffy with her death and resurrection, Buffy entered the kitchen again.

“Giles... I need to talk to Angel for a minute, can you stay ‘cause I seem to be making a mess of things?”

The older man nodded, watching as she approached the tense vampire.

“Angel... I’m sorry I yelled at you. I... I’m not really sure these days what’s going on with me. I thought I had a grip on things and then this whole getting shot thing, and Tara and Willow, the argument with Spike… I’m not sure where I am any more. I’m sorry. You know I do care about you. Although what I said was hurtful and I could have found a better way to say things... They were true. We can’t go back and there really isn’t anywhere to go forward except as friends. Can we do that?”

The tall brunette vampire stood up and gently pulled the petite blonde loosely into his arms as he looked down into her face. “Of course we can. Always friends, Buffy. You mean too much to me to lose your friendship. It’s my fault I jumped to conclusions. Forgive me?”

“Don’t I always?” Buffy asked with a trace of the old mischief he was used to from her years before.

Angel grinned at her as he ruffled her hair, then hugged her briefly before quickly releasing her.

“Well, good. If you two have that settled, perhaps you can explain to Buffy some of what I explained to you, Angel. I need to talk with Willow.”

A look passed between the Watcher and the vampire; then Giles left the kitchen in search of Willow as Angel handed Buffy toward the recently vacated chair.

 

 

~*~

 

 

'Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury -- pardon;

where there is doubt -- faith;

where there is despair -- hope

where there is darkness -- light;

where there is sadness -- joy!'

 

 

Giles found Willow sitting on the front steps of the Summers’ house, talking to Lindsey.

The young lawyer had been telling her about his relationship thus far with Angel and the L.A. crew, while Willow told him about her relationship with Tara and life in Sunnydale since Buffy arrived.

“Willow, if you’re to a point you can wrap up your tale, I think we need to talk now.”

The redheaded witch glanced up at Giles before turned back to Lindsey. “Lin, I need to talk with Giles now. Thank you for sharing with me and listening to me. It’s helped a lot.”

“It’s been good for me too, Will. We’ll trade more later?”

Willow nodded an affirmative as she stood to follow Giles.

 

The older man looked at her in concern for a brief moment. “Might we talk in your room, if you’re comfortable with that, of course? We seem to be running out of quiet places for conversation.”

“Ah, sure, Giles. It’s no problem.” Actually Willow felt a bit awkward having Giles in her room, but he was right about the lack of space for private conversations. She knew that whatever he had to say to her, she was going to prefer that it be private. Willow led the way up the stairs to her room and stood awkwardly next to the bed.

Giles closed the door quietly behind him as he entered the room.

 

“Ah, we don’t really have any chairs in here, Giles. So... if you don’t mind sitting on the edge of the bed?”

“I think we can both manage that, Willow. We are, after all, adults.” He took the initiative and sat carefully at the foot of the bed.

 

Reassured slightly, Willow sat down at the head of the bed, pulling her legs up under her and leaning back against the headboard. “So… what do we need to talk about, as if I didn’t kinda know?”

“As you suspect, your magick use. I wish to apologize to you first though. I knew you were using magick. I even encouraged it in a manner of speaking, every time I asked you to do a spell, or assist with one, yet even after my own mistakes in my younger years, I never attempted to teach you the proper use of your ability. Even when you brought Buffy back, I simply fussed at you.”

“I don’t think I’d have listened to you by then, Giles. But I need to apologize for yelling at you that time. I said some pretty arrogant and icky things to you and I’m sorry. You were right.”

“Yes, well. I can’t think too harshly of what you did then since you brought her back to all of us. I was very concerned that you’d injure yourself or that she’d have... ah, deficiencies.”

“You were worried that I’d screwed up.” Willow felt she needed to call the situation like it was really.

“Well... yes. But I’d not have phrased it that way.”

“I know, Giles. But sometimes, you kinda have to, to get through to me. Tara... T… Tara tried that too. Giles, what am I going to do?” Willow’s composure broke with her utterance of Tara’s name. She held her face in her hands as great tearing sobs shuttered through her, shaking her until Giles feared she’d actually break something.

Rising from his seat at the foot of the bed, he went to the slender, grieving woman, sat down beside her and pulled her carefully into his arms.

Willow clutched at him as if he was a lifeline and she was drowning.

It wasn’t far from the truth.

 

Willow was drowning in grief. From the loss of her lover, from the close calls she’d been through, from the repercussions of her abuse of her magick, Buffy’s new injury... She felt as though everything was about to suck her under and swallow her. Then there was a new source of grief she’d never imagined, seeing disapproval in Giles’ eyes.

The older man held the slender, redheaded woman in his arms as she clung to him, crying as her heart broke over and over.

 

 

~*~

 

Spike walked into the port town just before dark. He could smell the stench of rotting garbage, dead fish, and human refuse mixed with the oily water in the harbor.

The slender, blonde sun burnt man searched for a harbormaster or captain, anyone that could help him get back to Sunnydale and to Buffy.

 

“What’d want?” The man behind the littered desk was unshaven, with greasy hair, the foul odor of someone who bathed infrequently. He had stained and missing teeth clamped tight around an unlit cigar butt.

“I’m looking for someone who will let me work passage back to California.”

 

“You? Ya couldn’t lift a mop much less work a ship. Get outta here!”

 

“I’m stronger than I look. Is there someone that I can talk to about passage?”

 

“Sure, why not? Go down the dock to the next to last slip. Ship is the Morning Tide. Talk to Captain Ramirez and see if he’ll take you on.” The unkempt man cackled to himself like someone who knew a joke, yet wasn’t telling.

Spike hoisted the nearly empty string bag over his shoulder and turned back through the doorway, trudging down the dock to the Morning Tide.

 

Spike spotted the captain before he reached the ship and understood why the harbormaster had sent him here. The captain was a big, bald, bulky man with a bristling, red mustache that occupied the middle third of the man’s face. He wore a patch over one eye, no shirt and had a huge chest covered with the same red hair and a billboard’s worth of tattoos. It was obvious he was the captain by his air of command that stemmed directly from his loud, barking voice and the flicking bullwhip in his hand.

Spike put on his best ‘big bad’ and sauntered up the gangplank.

“Who than’ hell are ye and what do ye be doing’ on me ship?!”  Ramirez roared when Spike was only half way up the gangplank.

“I was sent by the harbormaster. He said I might be able to work passage with you to California.”

Knowing the reason the nasty little man would send this slender ‘tender foot’ here, Ramirez grinned evilly. “Of course. I can always use another hand. San Diego is my next stop. Come aboard.”

 

Spike didn’t trust the look on the man’s face for a moment but walked onto the deck of the ship toward the evil looking captain.

He’d gotten not quite four feet from the man when the flicking bullwhip lashed out at his feet, wrapping around an ankle and bringing him to the deck with a crash.

Temper surging to the fore, Spike wrapped his hand around the whip and jerked with his still present preternatural strength.

Ramirez refused to release the handle of the whip and came down hard on the deck inches from Spike’s face.

The blonde vampire looked into the eye of the villainous man and tried, for the first time since the cave, to force his face to shift. He felt the familiar change of features, but the urge for blood didn’t rise in him as usual.

However, the face was enough as he growled at the fallen captain.

“I asked nicely to work passage. I could have just killed you and taken it. I’ll ask again to work passage.”

 

Ramirez had seen a face like this before. They’d had such a ‘thing’ on ship a few years back. He’d lost half his crew before he’d given in and taken the vicious woman where she had wanted to go. What Ramirez didn’t understand was that this one could be out in the daylight, could tolerate the sunlight. He was obviously more, or different, than the crazy woman had been, forever droning on about the stars. The captain decided to accept the offer of work for passage and keep his miserable life that he’d come to enjoy very much. “O… okay. I’ll give you passage. You can work for it, but please don’t kill too many of my men. They don’t deserve that.”

Spike rose gracefully to his feet and offered a hand to the Captain, pulling him rapidly to his feet in a deliberate show of strength. “Fine. Thank you. I won’t kill your men. If there are any problems, I’ll simply kill you.”

The changed vampire knew he had no intention of killing any of them, unless it became a matter of him or them. But they didn’t need to know that.

Another deck hand came over at the captain’s call and showed Spike a bunk to drop his few belongings on then led him back up top to haul the cargo onto the ship.

 

 

~*~

 

Wesley had gotten Angel, Buffy, Lindsey and Dawn to go to the Magick Shop and bring back most of the training items, which they then sat up in the basement of the Summers’ house. Since Wesley would have to stay there until he could find a place of his own, he figured it would be the most convenient training area. However, the basement was filled to capacity with the equipment, leaving little actual room for working out, training or even laundry.

As soon as he voiced those concerns, Angel interrupted. “Wesley, even though I’m still pretty upset with you, I’m willing to help for Buffy and Dawn’s sake. I still own the mansion over on Crawford Street, so you can use it for a place to live and training room for Dawn, if you want. I just ask that you take care of it as well as Buffy and Dawn.”

Wesley stopped, shocked at the offer from the man who had been his friend. “T… thank you, Angel. That’s very generous of you. I think that would work much better actually. If you’re sure, of course?”’

“Yeah, I’m sure. Let’s haul this stuff over there instead.”

                       

Buffy was always a bit uncomfortable in the Crawford mansion, but helped the others set up the training equipment in one of the larger rooms where Angel had directed them.

She put down the chair she’d been moving and looked around for the dark-haired vampire, only to find him gone.

Quietly, Buffy left the room to search for him.

 

She didn’t have to go far. Angel stood in the main room, facing the fireplace; his hands grasping the edge of the mantel so tightly that his knuckles were white.

“Angel?”

The vampire whirled at the sound of Buffy’s voice. He’d been so lost in his thoughts he never heard her approach.

“Buffy! Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

 

“Angel, are you all right? I’ve never been able to sneak up on you. What’s wrong?”

 

“Well, you’re much quieter now, Buffy. And I was several years away.” He simply looked at her, seeing in his mind’s eye a softer Buffy, a more loving Buffy. One that loved him.

 

“Oh. I’m sorry, Angel. This place... it’s always creeped me out since… well, you know.”

The dark-haired vampire covered the space between them to pull her into his arms.

Buffy was seeing too much of the past echo in the room at that moment to resist being held.

“Buffy... so much happened here. I see this room and it’s all there again. Waking to find you in front of me with a sword, kissing you, being sent to hell. Coming back from there to this room. Working out with you, sitting curled up with you in front of that fireplace. Knowing I was dying and having you force me to drink you to save me. I remember the taste of you on my lips, my tongue. It may sound terrible, but I do remember that. For me it was almost as consuming as the first time we were...”

Buffy put her hand over his lips to stop what she knew was coming. “Stop! Don’t! I... I can’t.”

She tried to pull away, but Angel held her closer.

“Tell me you don’t remember, Buffy. Tell me you hated it. Both times. Both so different in action, but the same in what was actually happening.”

“No! It wasn’t! The first time… We made love, Angel. You didn’t try to have me for a main course at dinner!”

“Buffy, you know that wasn’t what I did. You gave yourself to me. Both times you gave yourself to me because you loved me. One almost destroyed me while the other saved me. You saved me, Buffy.”

Throwing caution to the winds, Angel leaned his head to capture her lips with his, demanding entrance to her mouth, his tongue battling with hers as he held her tightly; as she clung to him with a strength that matched his own.

As he kissed her, exploring every inch of her sweet mouth with his own, Angel felt something change ever so slightly. He realized what it was suddenly as he cut his tongue on the edge of one of Buffy’s teeth. The vampire pulled back suddenly from her, holding her at arms length. “Buffy! Open your mouth, now!”

 

Bewildered by the kiss, the emotions that assailed her, emotions she though were long banished, by Angel’s sudden pulling away and the demand that she open her mouth; Buffy suddenly realized she had the flat, sweetish metallic taste of  blood in her mouth. Maybe Angel had cut her lip or tongue and she’d not felt it.

She opened her mouth.

 

Angel saw the bewilderment on the tiny blonde Slayer’s face before she did as he’d demanded. Then she opened her mouth.

Her teeth were sharp, more pointed than ever before, yet they were far from the ragged sharpness of the vampires. They looked like what Angel might expect of someone eons ago. They looked like the first Slayer Giles had described to him.

“Buffy, we need to go sit down. We better talk.”

 

Angel led her to one of the sofas, sitting beside her, his arm around her shoulders as she curled into the curve of his side.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Willow’s sobs finally slowed, but she stayed in the shelter of Giles’ arms, her fingers absently picking at the tiny slubbs of fabric on his shirt.

“Willow, are you feeling better now?”

 

“Yeah, but now my head is all stopped up.”

 

Giles chuckled softly as he released the young woman in his arms. “Go wash your face and blow your nose. I’ll be here when you return. We can try that talk again.”

Willow nodded as she crawled off the bed to cross the room to the bathroom.

 

 

~*~

 

 

‘What ravages of spirit

conjured this temptuous rage

created you a monster

broken by the rules of love

and fate has lead you through it

you do what you have to do

and I have the sense to recognize that

I don't know how to let you go

every moment marked

with apparitions of your soul

I'm ever swiftly moving

trying to escape this desire

the yearning to be near you

I do what I have to do’

 

 

“Angel. What just happened back there? Why did you kiss me? Why did I kiss you back? Did you bite me or something?”

“Buffy... You, ah, bit me. I felt something change while I kissed you and then your tooth cut me. Your teeth changed, Buffy. They weren’t like a vampire’s, but they were sharper, more pointed. They were like Giles described the first Slayer to me.”

“No. No, this isn’t happening to me. No.” Buffy pulled away and started backing down the length of the sofa, away from Angel. The vampire lunged at her just before she bolted from the sofa, pinning her to the sofa with his body on top of hers.

“Let me up!”

 

“No, Buffy, not until we get all of this settled. We’ve never talked about any of this and it’s been eating both of us alive.”

“No, you’re not alive! And you were the one that tried to eat me!” Even in her anger, Buffy realized how her last comment sounded.

“We never got to that, Buffy. I wish we had…” Angel let his words trail off, the unasked question hung in the air between them with a life of its own. Buffy clamped her teeth tightly together to keep from answering. “We still could, Buffy. It could be better than before.” With his face only inches from the blonde Slayer pinned beneath him, Angel moved his head that tiny distance to kiss her again, his hand tracing the curves along the side of her body.

Even as Buffy returned the kiss, something in her head was screaming at her, telling her this was wrong. She couldn’t concentrate on the sensations running through her mouth while the sound screamed in her head, yet she couldn’t hear the noise in her head clearly because of the path Angel’s hand was exploring, the way his mouth moved on her own, stealing her breath, her thoughts.

Sensation won as she pulled him close, wrapping her legs around his own to pull his body tighter to hers.

 

His hands fumbled at the buttons of her shirt, struggling to open it beneath his own chest.

She pushed futilely at the sides of his jeans, unable to move them out of the way.

Vampire and Slayer heard a noise and suddenly Angel tumbled to the floor, leaving Buffy on the sofa, gasping for breath, gasping for the feel of his body on hers again.

“What are you two doing!? You can’t do this! Angel, what is wrong with you!? Buffy?” Wesley stood behind the sofa. He’d walked in on the scene, and shoved Angel off Buffy before either could reach their goal.

Now, however, Angel came up from the floor, demonic face to the fore. Buffy rose from the sofa, teeth bared, sharp and much more pointed. They both snarled at the Watcher.

 

“Wesley, you handle Buffy. Dawn and I will deal with Angel.” Lindsey spoke from behind Wesley. The young man had followed the Englishman into the room, halting as he witnessed the same scene as Wesley.

Lindsey had experience with Angel and felt more comfortable attempting to subdue the vampire. He’d have hesitated with Buffy and knew that in the moment of hesitation, she’d have his throat.

 

“Just don’t kill him. We have to get both of them back to Mr. Giles. I suspect he may know more about what is happening with them.”

Dawn and Lindsey had moved to either side of Angel, clubs in hand instead of stakes.

 

Wesley simply reached down toward the floor, said a silent apology then brought his arm rapidly upward, slamming his fist into Buffy’s temple, rendering her unconscious.

Moments later, Angel was sprawled on the floor equally unconscious.

 

Lindsey went to get the car.

 

 

~*~

 

‘Hold on to yourself

for this is gonna hurt like hell

Hold on

Hold on to yourself

you know that only time will tell

What is it in me that refuses to believe

this isn't easier than the real thing

My love

you know that you're my best friend

you know I'd do anything for you’

 

 

Willow emerged from the bathroom, face no longer tear streaked, the edges of her hair damp where she’d splashed cool water on her face, trying to repair some of the ravages of crying. She returned to sit on the side of the bed next to the Watcher. “I’m sorry, Giles. It just got to me all of the sudden.”

“There is nothing to apologize for, Willow. You’ve not even had an opportunity to grieve yet. Your anger took over and held it off instead. Do you feel up to talking now?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good. Then what I had wanted to propose was that I teach you as much as possible about controlling your energy, using your magick and all of the rest that I should have done long before now. I’ll try to cover as much as possible for as long as I am here.” Giles had no idea how long that would be, but he suspected that it might be a while this time. At least until he managed to solve some of the newest situation with Buffy and the changes from this latest ‘almost death’ as she like to call it.

“I’d like that, Giles. What do you want me to do first?”

 

The next hour was filled with instructions from Giles, questions from Willow and several exercises during which the older man attempted to show her the kind of energy usage he’d referenced.

Instruction was going well until Giles and Willow heard a shout from downstairs.

The pair looked surprised but immediately headed down the stairs.

 

They were certainly not prepared for what they found.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Wesley carried Buffy to the passenger seat of the car and sat her in it as Dawn opened the back door, then picked up Angel’s legs again as she and Lindsey manhandled the vampire into the back seat. Dawn stayed in the back, stake in hand, while Lindsey moved to the front seat, shifting Buffy into his lap. Wesley slid into the driver’s seat and headed back to the Summers’ house as quickly as possible and still stay within the speed limits.

 

Neither Slayer nor vampire had woken when the car pulled into the driveway. Lindsey simply scooped Buffy up from his lap and carried her into the house, laying her on the sofa. Dawn and Wesley managed to carry Angel into the living room and laid him down on the floor rug.

No sooner had they deposited Angel, than Buffy stirred, coming to her knees with another snarl, looking very bewildered as to her surroundings.

Dawn and Wesley both shouted for Giles.

 

 

 

 

 ‘Oh who is the beauty

  Who the beast’

 

 

Giles clattered down the stairs with Willow close on his heels as they ran to the living room. With one quick glance, Giles took in the unconscious Angel and the very hostile Buffy.

He slowly approached Buffy, talking to her all the while.

 

It took only moments for the enraged Slayer to calm and launch herself into the arms of her Watcher, sobbing on his shoulder.

Giles looked at Wesley over the blonde head and asked his fellow Watcher what had transpired.

 

“I walked into the front room at the mansion and they were ‘making out’ on the sofa. Angel was trying to undress Buffy as much as she was trying to strip his jeans from him. Knowing the probably repercussions of such an encounter, I shoved him off of her to the floor. He came up in full demon face, growling at me, but then Buffy also turned on me, as you saw her just now. There is something different, Giles, but I didn’t really have the opportunity to determine what.”

“Giles, why would Buffy do that? I know she loves Spike.” Dawn needed to voice her concerns. She knew something was very wrong with her sister’s actions.

“I agree, Dawn. Buffy wouldn’t have done something like this with Angel as a normal course. Let me get her calmed down and see if I can determine the problem.” Giles turned to Willow, needing her assistance. “Willow, I need you to make a bit of tea for me please.”

“Ah, Giles, I know between me crying on you and now Buffy, that you might be feeling a bit out of sorts, but do you really think tea right now?”

“Willow, while I’d dearly love a cup of tea right this moment, I need you to make one for Buffy to calm her. It should work on Angel to some extent as well, especially with the physiology they’re sharing since Buffy’s, ah, ‘alterations’.”

Giles gave Willow a rapid list of the herbal ingredients he wanted in the tea before the witch headed purposefully to the kitchen.

 

That done, Giles turned his attention back to the still sobbing Slayer in his arms. He stepped backwards to the sofa, sitting down as he pulled Buffy with him until she sat beside him. Holding her slightly away so he could look into her face, Giles asked her about the disturbing events. “Buffy, can you tell me what happened? I need to know, dear. I know how you feel about Spike, so please explain to me what was happening with Angel.”

Buffy wiped her face with the backs of both hands and tried to explain to Giles what had happened and why. The problem was that she wasn’t sure she even understood what had occurred. “Giles, I’m not sure. Angel went into the main room and was talking about the things that had happened there that he remembered, and he kept talking about some really intimate things that had happened between us. I got upset, we had a bit of argument, then he kissed me. It was like part of me knew I should stop it, but a different part of me wanted to… wanted to do what we were doing. Then Angel pulled back and I tasted blood in my mouth. I thought he’d bitten me, but he said I’d bit him and made me open my mouth. He said my teeth were different. We sat on the couch while he told me that. I got upset and tried to move away, but he grabbed me and then he was on top of me again. It started all over, only worse this time. When Wesley pushed Angel off of me, all I could think was that he’d taken something away from me. It doesn’t make any sense, Giles.”

 

“Actually…” Angel sat up on the floor, one hand holding his head, “it makes a lot of sense in light of what you told me, Giles, and what I know about vampires.”

The groggy, dark-haired vampire slid backwards across the floor until his back was against the wall on the opposite side of the room.

He’d just settled against the wall when Willow re-entered the room, a tray of cups and a pot of herbal tea in her hands.

“Willow, good. Thank you. Would you pour a cup for Buffy and for Angel please?” Giles turned his attention back to the vampire.

“So what do you think happened, Angel? You of all people should know what would happen if you were... were with Buffy again.”

 

“I don’t know, Giles. I mean, I was with Darla and nothing happened at all.” Angel paused as the room filled with silence, everyone thinking the same thing; that Angel had gotten Darla pregnant and had a child with her. “Okay, not exactly nothing, but my soul wasn’t in any danger.”

“But you said yourself that you’d never been in love with Darla.” Wesley remembered the conversation from months earlier

“No, Buffy is the first woman I’ve ever loved. I think that maybe the self-loathing I felt before, and being in love for the first time… that when Buffy freely gave herself to me with no reservations, totally from love, that that was what created a moment of perfect happiness. See for us, vampires us, when she made me drink from her to save my life, she also gave herself to me because she loved me. Drinking from her, knowing she loved me and gave herself like that, was as good and as satisfying as the sex had been. It was just as erotic and had the same… ah, side effects, let’s say.”

“You mean that it caused…. Oh, my! For both of you?” Wesley caught the meaning before Giles did, having worked so closely with Angel for quite some time now. The younger Watcher looked at Buffy for confirmation of Angel’s statements.

She blushed to the roots of her hair.

 

“Buffy?” Giles needed to hear the answer from his charge.

 

“Yes. Yes it did. Ah, have the same, ah, side effects. It was very, ah, erotic.”

 

“All right. But that doesn’t explain why this happened today.” Giles knew they needed an answer to the bigger problem. He felt there was something he was missing, if only he could put his finger on it.

 

“I don’t know, Giles. She was there and the room was filled with memories... It was like I was drawn to her, like I had no control over what was happening between us. The blood made it worse since we’d shared blood before.”

“How did blood get involved today, Angel?” Giles had a horrible suspicion about the subject.

 

“She nicked me with a tooth. I was kissing her and felt something shift, then a tooth cut my tongue. I pulled away to look and her teeth were different, sharp, pointed. Not like a vampire, but more like you had described the first Slayer to me.”

“That’s what he told me earlier too. It got me upset and I tried to move but he stopped me. I can’t be changing like that, Giles! What is wrong with me? What will I do? What am I becoming?”

“Excellent questions, Buffy. Have you had anything like this happen before? The tooth issue or the uncontrolled, ah, urges?” Giles was going somewhere with this line of question.

“N… no, not really. Unless you count my lack of ability to stay away from vampires as boyfriends.” Buffy had tried to make the comment a joke, but failed.

“That’s exactly where I’m going with this, Buffy. When you fell for Angel to begin with, you didn’t know he was a vampire, so your feelings were already involved before you found out.”

“But I tried to break it off.“ Buffy felt the need to protest, to defend her at what almost seemed to be an accusation.

“Yes, you did. But once you’d died at the hands of the Master, you and Angel were inseparable. I think it started then, the preference for a vampire mate. What we learned from the diaries points to you having moved closer to your origins then and subsequently, the desire for a vampire mate. A male who was like you.”

“Giles, I am NOT a vampire!” Buffy jumped to her feet. This time she felt the change happen. Covering her mouth with her hands, the frightened Slayer ran to the mirror to look, crying out at what she saw reflected there.

 

Giles stood behind her, seeing the same reflection as he placed his hands on her shoulders. “It happens when you get angry or feel threatened. I fear it was this last ‘almost death’ as you phrased it, that brought this about, Buffy. You recognize it, as do I, as would Willow or Xander. She was the twin of a vampire, Buffy. So even though you‘re not a vampire, your natural male counterpart is a vampire.”

His voice was soft. He knew this was a horrible shock to his Slayer. It was a shock to him as well, but after the reading he’d done, somehow it just didn’t seem as horrible to him as to Buffy. “Come sit back down, Buffy. Drink the tea I had Willow make for you to help you calm down. I feel there is still more to this that we’ve not discovered as of yet.”

 

Buffy allowed Giles to led her back to the sofa where she sat and numbly took the cup of tea Willow handed her.

 

“Angel, do you remember why you seemed so particularly attracted to Buffy today?”

 

“I was remembering things in that room. They were things Buffy and I have never discussed since they happened, so maybe the fact that they’re unresolved caused some of it? But for some reason I was more aware of Buffy than I’ve been in a long time. More than at any time since I got back into town over the last couple of days.”

“I’d think the unresolved issues could certainly add to an existing problem. But I suspect what we’re seeking is the reason you are so extraordinarily aware of her right now.” Giles was trying to think of what the underlying issue could be.

“Giles, I have an idea.” Willow interrupted as the sudden thought occurred to her. She knew how her body’s cycles could affect her magick, perhaps it affected other things. “Buffy, I know this is a bad question, but.... where are you in your, ah, cycle right now?”

Buffy’s eyes widened at Willow’s question; then the blush crept up her face again. It matched Willow’s this time. “I had my... about 12 days ago. Why?”

 

“That was before you were shot this last time wasn’t it, Buffy?” Angel interrupted them all, the urgency in his voice unmistakable.

Buffy looked at her ex-lover and felt the desire rise inside of her again. She clutched at Giles’ arm to keep from moving across the room and simply jumping Angel. “Yeah.”

 

“Giles, I think that’s the answer. Buffy’s even closer to her origins since getting shot. She’s closer to what would be a natural mate for a male vampire and she’s almost in her fertile cycle right now.” Angel looked away from the Watcher’s face and locked eyes with Buffy. “Add the unresolved issues between us and you get more tension than either of us could fight, especially not knowing we had anything to fight against.”

Buffy sat beside her Watcher, slowly shaking her head as she looked into the dark brown eyes of the vampire across the room.

 

“I believe we’ve found the answer finally. That would explain Yaszette’s preference for a vampire once she had died and been brought back. It would explain the ability of a Slayer to become pregnant by a vampire. And Buffy’s line is more closely tied to the vampire lines than most because of the tampering of the Council and the situation between Yaszette and her vampire lover. The fact that the two of you have been lovers and have unresolved, ah, issues, would heighten the attraction, I imagine.”  Giles wasn’t happy with the content of the answer, but was relieved that they understood more of what was happening.

“So what do we do to stop this?” Angel knew he had to stop his desire for the small, golden-haired woman before he acted on it again and lost his soul. He thought it might be safe even if he was with her, but he couldn’t take that chance and not be sure.

“First, I’d suggest the two of you not be alone; but since you’ve both shown a hostile reaction to being forcibly separated, perhaps resolving the existing problems should be the next step. You’ll have to talk them out and you’ll have to have at least two people in the room with you. If you don’t mind, I’d prefer to not be one of them. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I do. I really don’t wish to know that much about my Slayer’s, ah, sex life.”

Giles looked at Wesley and Dawn. “I doubt that Dawn needs to be involved, but you might wish to, Wesley. Dawn is part of Buffy after her first death and has already shown a preference for vampires. You can relay the necessary information to all of us.”

Lindsey and Willow both offered to sit in as well.

“All right then, Buffy, perhaps you and Angel should retire to your room with Wesley and Lindsey. Willow can relieve someone later if necessary. In the meanwhile, Dawn and I will prepare dinner.”

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

Buffy reluctantly headed up the stairs to her room followed by Lindsey, Wesley and finally Angel.

The Slayer sat down on the floor, leaning against her bed, while Angel settled across from her, propped against the wall. Since Buffy had no chairs in her room, Wesley took up a seat on the foot of the bed, leaving the unyielding top of Buffy’s weapon’s chest as a seat for Lindsey.

“All right, Angel, where do we start?” Buffy didn’t want to do this at all. She didn’t want all these people in her room, she didn’t want to feel so drawn to Angel, but she did want to know where in the hell Spike was!

“How about with me ‘waking up’ to find you standing over me with a sword, Buffy?”

 

“Why me? Why did I know that’s where you’d start?” Buffy looked up at her ceiling for a moment, rolled her eyes in exasperation before looking back at her dark-haired, handsome vampire ex-lover sitting only six feet away from her in her bedroom. "Fine. What did you want to know?”

 

Two hours later, Buffy called a break. She had to go to the bathroom or have an accident right there.

Angel got up from the floor and walked over to the window. He stood back far enough that the sunlight didn’t touch him as he gazed out the window that was another strong source of memories for he and Buffy.

His back turned, he heard Lindsey comment to Wesley. “You know, Wes… Although I handled a lot of different cases, I did occasionally do some domestic work. These two have so many issues they might as well have been married!”

“It certainly seems that way, doesn’t it? I knew they had been very close when I was here before, but I had no idea it was this complicated.”

“I’m thinking fondly of a cup of coffee and a bite to eat. Maybe it’s time to have Willow and Giles take a turn regardless of what he wants to know about Buffy’s sex life. Not that there has been all that much discussion about sex except for the recurring theme of ‘they-can’t-have any’.”

“I certainly see your point. Doesn’t seem to be much that Mr. Giles couldn’t hear.”

 

“Seems like a fair trade, Wesley. Giles gets to listen to my problems with Angel after I had to listen to his thoughts about sex with my mother that time I could hear thoughts!” Buffy had come back from the bathroom just in time to hear the end of the conversation between Wesley and Lindsey.

Wesley stayed with the ‘odd couple’ while Lindsey went downstairs to send up food, drink, witch and Watcher.

Places traded and food and drink in hand, the verbal battle was on again.

 

 

~*~

 

‘Sail on through the night!

Lost in the shadows.

Sail on through the night.

Lost in the lonely abyss.

Sail on through the night!

Lost in the shadows.’

 

 

It seemed to Spike that he’d been aboard the Morning Tide half of forever. Of course it seemed as if he’d been away from Buffy forever.

He knew the ship would be docking in San Diego tomorrow night. With luck, he’d be back home, back to Sunnydale, back to Buffy, in just a few days.

 

He wasn’t sure how to explain to her what had happened to him. Why he’d left, the tests, having his soul back.

Spike knew that regardless of whatever else happened, he didn’t want to wind up like Angel.

 

 

~*~

 

 

“Buffy, it’s well past midnight and we’ve all had a long day. You and Angel have been at this for hours. We’ve all traded places several times now and we’re just exhausted. How you two can have so many unsolved problems, I have no idea. But I know we’ve all got to get some sleep. I’m out on my feet, except I’m not standing.” Willow was visibly drooping and Lindsey had to keep jerking himself awake. The young lawyer had finally moved from the top if the weapons chest to the floor for the sake of his sitting comfort.

“If it will help you, Buffy, I’ll shuffle people off to sleeping spots and let you go ahead and go to sleep. You look as tired as I feel. You guys can finish this in the morning can’t you? You can’t have that much left unsolved!” Lindsey struggled to his feet from the floor, resolved to find everybody a place to sleep just so he could check the light-tight-integrity of his eyelids as soon as possible.

 

“Okay, okay. We can finish in the morning. I’m about out of it, Will, Lin. Thanks for helping, or sitting or whatever.” Buffy crept gingerly from the floor to the edge of her bed, sore in numerous places from simply sitting. Of course, the tension that had tightened her body like an over-wound spring hadn’t helped at all. “Angel, you can have the sofa down stairs, Two of you are gonna have to double up on that air mattress in the living room. Willow, you decide who you feel like offering the other side of your bed to tonight, okay? I’m sorry you have to, but there just isn’t enough room without it.”

“Yeah. I can handle that, Buffy. See you in the morning, ‘K?” Willow stepped over to hug her best friend goodnight, then followed Angel and Lindsey out of the room.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Downstairs, Willow went directly to Giles.

“Ah, Giles… Buffy told me to help with the sleeping spaces and all... I kinda have to share space with someone, since there isn’t enough room otherwise and I don’t really know Wesley that well, or Lindsey at all, other than today, so do you think that maybe…”

“Willow, I understand that you feel comfortable enough with me to offer the other half of your sleeping space. I appreciate the offer and I think that we’re both certainly adult enough to be able to share a bed for the purpose of getting some sleep.” Giles understood the redhead’s dilemma and was relieved as well to not have to share a bed with someone he didn’t know well.

“Good. So can we go to sleep now?” The witch was so tired, she couldn’t keep the edge of a whine out of her voice.

“I certainly think so. Please lead the way.” Giles followed her up the stairs to her room once more. They chose to leave the bedroom door open for propriety’s sake. Willow took off her shoes and socks and turned down the comforter, lying on top of the sheets, her bare feet tucked under the thick cover.

 

The older man removed his jacket and shirt, socks and shoes, leaving him in his slacks and tee shirt. He slid onto the bed, wished Willow a good night and they both turned over, backs to each other, feeling a bit awkward.

The sensation didn’t last long as sleep quickly claimed them.

 

 

~*~

 

 

‘You think you hear demons

I think you are the demon

You no longer care

If it's cold or if it's warm

You live for the danger

Like your passion and your anger

You don't let go

You like to be twisted by the force

You like to be shaken by the wind’

 

 

Angel tossed and turned on the sofa. No matter how hard he tried, no matter what they had discussed earlier, no matter what he told himself or how loud the voice of reason yelled at him, the vampire was aware of only one over-riding thought.

Buffy was upstairs.

 

After an hour of fighting with himself, Angel finally got up from the sofa and crept quietly thought the living room to the kitchen and out the back door. He sat down on the steps, leaning his head into his hands, wondering how he was going to manage to make it through the night, much less the next day. When Buffy would be one day closer…

No! Don’t even think it! She’s with Spike, not me. (Except Spike’s not here, is he?) Shut up!

Angel knew that voice. He could call it the voice of his demon, others might call it the ‘bad’ voice in their head; but no matter the name. It was the voice of temptation.

“Angel? Are you all right?” Buffy stood right behind him.

 

The dark visaged vampire stood abruptly and whirled around. He clutched at the handrail with both hands, trying to keep a measure of control and not clutch at the slender blonde standing in front of him in a tank-top shirt and boxer shorts.

“Buffy… what are you doing out here?” His voice sounded strangled even to himself. Angel was surprised he’d managed to get a word past the tightness in his throat.

 

“I couldn’t sleep. I came down to see if some fresh air would help and you were here.”

 

“Buffy, you’ve got a window in your room. I should know, considering how often we used it. If you wanted fresh air, why didn’t you just open it?”

 

“You were here.”

With an agonized moan, Angel released the stair rail and pulled Buffy into his arms, kissing her with a brutality that she returned in equal measure.

 

Standing a step above him, Buffy was exactly the right height to make kissing and fondling even easier than before. Both vampire and Slayer took full advantage of it.

 

Finally breaking the kiss for breath, Buffy grasped Angel by his hair, pulling his head to her chest, holding him there, his face nestled between her breasts.

“Angel… Angel... Please!”

 

Without waiting to discover exactly what the ‘please’ meant, Angel scooped her slight form into his arms, carrying her down the steps and around the corner of the porch to the tree at the back corner of the house. There he laid her on the soft, springy needles that carpeted the ground under the tree and, in one sudden, swift movement, had stripped her shorts from her. Then the next moment, he caught the material of her top in both of his large capable hands and ripped the shirt down the middle.

His mouth found one breast as his hand found the other, just as Buffy grabbed his shirt from both sides, ripping it from his back.

 

Minutes later, the world exploded in multicolored brilliance as Angel resolved the problem of not knowing what Buffy tasted like.

 

As wave after wave of tiny ‘aftershocks’ coursed through her body, Buffy pulled Angel up where she could kiss him again, pushing at his jeans with one hand while he struggled out of them.

There was only one conclusion to their actions, and the vampire plunged hilt deep inside of the Slayer writhing beneath him, the shock of connection causing both to gasp.

Buffy urged his movements on with a savagery he’d never suspected in her before. His one memory of being inside of her fiery depths was accompanied by softness and gentleness. This Buffy was anything but! Her nails raked his back, slicing small cuts, as she clamped down with pointed teeth on his shoulder where it met his neck. She could smell the sweet scent of his blood as it rose to the surface in tiny drops everywhere her teeth had broken his skin. Buffy licked at the droplets as she pulled the flesh of his shoulder into her mouth.

Unable to withstand the sensations, Angel felt his face morph just as he bit into her shoulder in a mirrored image. It was not a bite to kill, or to feed, but a bite to push them both over the edge they’d sought.

And fall over that edge, they did. Angel threw his head back, growling as his body spasmed over and over into Buffy’s own tightened, clenching muscles.

 

 

~*~

 

 

‘You've been warned to retreat

You take it to the limit

When the winds come up

Crazy men, crazy women

Crying out for love

You like to save her

But you just can't give it up

You'd rather be wrapped up

In the arms of a storm

And the sun goes down

Chasing down the demons’

 

 

Wesley was pulled from sleep by an out-of-place, half-heard sound. He lay still for a moment, waiting for the noise to repeat or for his mind to place the sound. When he finally did, he wished he’d remained baffled.

Shaking Lindsey awake, Wesley whispered terse instructions then rose from the shared air mattress, heading for the back door at a run.

 

The younger Watcher clattered down the back steps in bare feet, guided by the moans at the back of the house. He rounded the corner of the building only to stop abruptly at the sight of Angel and Buffy, nude, bodies wound around each other.

Lindsey didn’t anticipate the Watcher’s sudden stop and ran into him.

 

The two men managed to not fall on top of the nude vampire and Slayer, but the intrusion got the attention of the entwined pair.

They both growled.

 

“Angel, get off of her now! Buffy, turn him loose!”

The pair didn’t move.

 

“Buffy, if he’s lost his soul, you’re in danger!”

That finally got through to her. Buffy looked up at Angel, realizing what they had just done, what they had given themselves to the throes of…

 

She pushed at Angel’s shoulder, squirming under him in an attempt to move his weight off of her.

Angel turned his head, human face showing, and tried to reassure her.

“Buffy, it’s still me. I’m still here, I still have my soul.”

 

“You told me that last time.”

 

“I know I did. I said some horrible things last time and they weren’t true. I only said them to hurt you, because even as Angelus I loved you but hated the fact that I loved you. It made me feel human and that’s the last thing a demon wants to feel.”

 

“And now?”

 

“Buffy, I… I’m not sure what to say. I do still love you, but it’s not the same as it was back then. This…” His glance down took in their current position and state of undress. “It’s different. I still love you, but this had more to it than that. It was… what we talked about earlier and I think a lot of what we didn’t talk about… until right now.”

 

“Angel, man... can you two get dressed? I mean, I know you pretty well, but looking at your naked ass is getting to know you too well. I don’t even want to think about you or this Spike getting pissed at me for knowing Buffy as well as I do right about now.” Lindsey spoke half jokingly; feeling it was the best way to break up this scenario without he and Wesley being killed in the process.

“I must agree, Angel. This is a side of you I never really wanted to see. Shall we go inside and continue this discussion quietly? Lindsey and I will give you a bit of privacy to, ah, cover yourselves. That is if you will, ah, get up and come inside?” Wesley wanted to stop seeing what he was seeing and knew he had to stop the reason he was seeing it!

“Yeah, we’ll be inside in a minute. Can you throw out a couple of shirts or something? Buffy’s clothes are, well, kinda not wearable.”

“I’ll throw out the shirts. Do not ever tell me any more, Angel.” Wesley headed for the back door. On one level he was relieved that he and Angel were speaking and were almost friendly again, while on the other hand he was distraught at knowing so much more about the vampire than he’d ever imagined or had really wanted to know.

The younger Watcher could only imagine what Mr. Giles would have to say when he found out.

 

Angel and Buffy crept quietly in the door, eased through the kitchen where he turned to the downstairs bathroom to clean up, leaving Buffy to continue on up the stairs to her bathroom, where she also showered and found fresh, whole, clothes to put on.

 

They weren’t quiet for fear of waking anyone since Wesley and Lindsey were already awake, but quiet to try and avoid the catechism they knew would be waiting for them from the younger Watcher as soon as they were dressed.

 

Buffy stared in the mirror at the bite on her shoulder. It was already closed over. In fact, it looked as though it had happened several days ago instead of less than an hour before.

The thought frightened her, caused her to wonder again what she was becoming.

 

No closer to an answer now than she’d been hours earlier, she pushed the thoughts aside heading downstairs to the kitchen where she knew Wesley would be waiting and hoped Angel was there first.

It was almost four am.

 

 

~*~

 

 

He walked down the long, dark stairs, occasionally brushing aside a cobweb. The air grew colder, damp and musty, as the stairs continued downward.

Reaching the bottom, he turned left down the dank corridor to halt, facing a moldering door.

“I have a job for all of you. If you want your freedom, I want this service done.”

 

A raspy voice spoke from behind the nearest ironclad door. “Why should we do any favors for you? Why not just kill you for what you’ve done to us?”

“There is a sprinkler system over your heads. I doubt very seriously you’d enjoy what would come out of that system. It’s the same throughout the building. Will you obey my orders or not?”

 

“If you’ll grant our freedom, then, yes.”

 

“Good, there is someone I want you to kill.” He pressed the master switch, that only he had the key for, and opened the doors the length of the corridor. “Follow me out the back exit.” The rag-clad figures did as they were told; blinking at the brightness of the moonlight to eyes that had lived in the darkness.

“Now, let me explain who I need you to kill for me, for all of us.” Before the man could finish his instructions, he was surrounded three deep on all sides. The first speaker grabbed the man by his shirtfront, pulling him off the ground.

“I think we already have someone to kill. Then maybe we’ll find out who else you want us to kill and if we feel like it, maybe we will.”

Moments later, several sets of sharp ragged fangs sliced the man’s flesh as the vampires drank deeply.

“Not all of it. Let me at him.” The leader of this newly freed ‘kiss’ of vampires, raked across the inside of his wrist. When the blood welled there, the vampire that had once been a Watcher forced his bleeding wrist to the slack mouth of Quentin Travers, Turning him.

 

 

~*~

 

‘You're the one I need

I believe that I would cry just a little

Just to have you back now

Here with me’

 

 

The Morning Tide docked at the end of the pier far down in the shabby older section of the San Diego harbor.

Spike helped the crew unload the cargo, then took his leave. The ship had been his means to return to California and now that he was back on that soil, all he could think about was getting back to Buffy. He had to explain, to apologize, to ask her forgiveness.

 

He knew he’d be there in a couple of days.

 

 

~*~

 

 

The UPS courier knocked on the door bright and early that morning around 8:30am. Handing Wesley a rather heavy box, the deliveryman took his digital clipboard and hopped back into his dark brown truck, driving away without a backward glance.

“Wesley, what’s in the box?”

 

“I believe it’s Faith. Her interment is today, Dawn.”

 

“Ugh! Not about her interment, just ‘ugh’ that she got shipped by UPS to us in a box.”

 

“Actually, she was shipped by Cordelia. UPS simply made the delivery.”

 

“Wesley, do you have to be so literal? I had a bad night.”

 

“There seemed to be a lot of that going around last evening. At least for some people.” Wesley took the box containing the urn and the cremated remains of his first Slayer into the kitchen. Dawn bounced back into the living room and her cereal bowl in front of the television.

 

Angel and Buffy sat at the table, looking tired and very chagrined. None of the four had gotten back to sleep that night.

“Mr. Giles should be awake soon. I shall find some task for Dawn to attend to and then we will discuss this matter fully. Do the two of you have any idea what you did? What you risked last evening?”

 

“I think we kinda answered that the first dozen times, Wesley.”

 

“This is no time for levity, Buffy. This could be a very serious matter. Do you realize the possible consequences?”

 

“Yes, Wesley, I do.”

 

“Ah, Wes… Maybe it’s none of my business, but I don’t think you’re accomplishing anything by getting them both ticked off. Buffy’s already shown us that she’s not the best person to have angry with you. Maybe we can wait until the others are up?” Lindsey could see the anger rising in the Slayer almost like a tangible force. The young lawyer thought Wesley was much too upset to see what his repetitious questions were doing to the two at the table.

“I suppose you’re right, Lindsey. I think I’ll take my cup of tea to the front porch and try to gain a measure of calm.”

With that, Wesley did as he said and left the room.

 

“Thanks, Lindsey. I know it’s serious and he’s upset, but he was getting on my nerves.”

 

“It’s okay, Angel. I just didn’t want to be in the middle when you two explode at him. Just self-preservation, dude.”

Lindsey turned back to the counter to fill a cup with the freshly brewed coffee.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Giles woke in another unfamiliar room, unsure of where he was for a moment, then remembered that he’d shared half the bed with Willow.

The Watcher didn’t dare move as he was acutely aware of a slender arm wrapped around him, a warmth along the back of his body and the hard round shape of the top of a head pushed into his back.

 

He realized Willow had curled around him during the night, in her grief and loneliness. Suspecting that she had often slept thus with Tara, he’d simply been a handy substitute while she slumbered.

Giles lay in the dimness of the room, hearing the light murmur of voices downstairs and waited as he tried to decide on the best way to wake Willow.

Finally deciding that wakening her slowly would be best, Giles laid his hand on her arm and gently rubbed it as he called her name very softly.

It took only moments before he heard an unintelligible but sleepy mumble from behind him.

“Willow, wake up. The others are already about downstairs.”

 

“Mmummph... wake. Arggggh get up, ‘k?”

 

“Ah, Willow, I’m not sure I understood that. Can you repeat it, please?”

 

“I’m ‘wake. Gonna get up.” Willow stiffened suddenly as she finally woke enough to realize where her arm was and how she was laying. She’d been very comfortable with the solid warmth lying along the front of her body. Even the scent had been familiar, but now she knew the familiarity was from the remains of Giles’ aftershave. “Ah, I gotta get up, Giles. I’ll be downstairs in a minute.”

 

With a slight sigh because she was obviously upset, Giles slipped from the bed, found his loafers, then headed toward the second bathroom.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Dawn had been sent to pick up the flowers from the florist down the street for Faith’s funeral later in the day. It got her out of the house, which is something everyone agreed on as soon as they had the slightest idea of what had occurred.

 

Giles held a cup of hot tea in his hand as he frowned at Buffy and Angel.  Unable to restrain himself any longer, he finally had to ask the question that was screaming in his head. “What did you think you were doing? Did you bother to think at all? Either of you? Good Lord, Angel you could have lost your soul… Buffy, you could be pregnant. Do you understand that? Angel has already proven that he’s one of the few vampires capable of fathering a child.”

“Giles, I KNOW! All of you stop yelling at me! I know what we did. I was there, remember?” Buffy felt the tip of a tooth with her tongue, feeling the sting as she nicked the flesh. She’d noticed the subtle shifting inside her mouth as she’d gotten angry.

 

Taking a deep breath trying to calm down, she never got a chance to say anything before Willow voiced her opinion. “Maybe this was one of the things they still needed to get settled between them? Then too, there was that whole… fertility thing and all. Maybe they’ve gotten it out of their systems now?” The redhead turned to look directly at her friend. ”Do you feel the same ‘urge’ now that you did before you, ah… you know...?”

 

“No. You may be right, Willow. That desperate need isn’t there now.”

 

“Of course, it could simply be that you’ve gotten pregnant and so of course there is no longer any desire to mate.” Giles was more sarcastic than Buffy had heard him in a long time.

 

“Giles, I can, ah... check her to see if she’s… you know.”

 

“Please do so, Willow. If that’s the case, we need to know as soon as possible for her safety.”

 

“Sure. Buffy, will you come with me for a few minutes? We need to go somewhere you can lie down, so I can do this.”

“Sure, Will. Let’s go up to my room. It might as well get some kind of use.” Buffy turned and stalked out of the kitchen as Willow followed her, glancing back over her shoulder with an apologetic look.

“Angel... How did this happen?” Giles turned his frustration on the vampire.

“Pretty much the usual way. Except that she was a lot less gentle than the first time. She bit me.”

“That’s an image I don’t need, Angel. What I’m trying to ask is how, as in you were sleeping on the sofa and she was in her room.”

“I couldn’t sleep. I was more aware of her upstairs than anything else, so I got up and went out to the back steps, trying to stay away from her, trying to think of something else. But then she came outside too. She said it was because I was there. I tried to stay away. I think if you look at the handrail, you’ll find the marks of my fingers in it. I held on to it trying to force the overwhelming desire away, but it didn’t work, obviously. Do you really think she might be pregnant?”

“I sincerely hope not. While I know that might be something the two of you could desire; I don’t think it would be good for her with the changes she’s undergone recently.”

“No, I know that. A few years ago, I’d have given almost anything to have something so normal with her, but now… I can’t even find my son, much less worry about a second child.”

“I see. Hopefully we’ll know in a few minutes if we have anything to worry about other than the two of you being together again.”

“Giles, I don’t think we will. It feels like whatever it was, is over now. I mean, I still care about her, you know that. I always will, but she’s not mine now.”

“Yes, and when, if… Spike comes back, let us hope that he doesn’t find out.”

Angel could only stare at the table.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Willow came though the doorway of the Summers' kitchen to find Giles sitting opposite Angel at the table as the two men waited. Buffy trailed along behind the witch, looking somewhat disappointed.

“She’s not pregnant. At least, not yet. All those little... ah, ‘thingies’ are moving around, but she’s not... um, ‘hatched’ anything to go with them yet. If she doesn’t in the next few hours, then nothing will happen.” Willow tried to reassure Buffy’s Watcher and recent lover, although Buffy had actually been a bit upset when Willow had announced the results of her ‘scan’ to her best friend.

“Thank goodness.”

 

Angel and Giles both sighed. Both for very different reasons.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Dawn had returned from the florist.

After a short workout of an hour with Wesley, she, like everyone else, went to dress for Faith’s interment in the Restfield Cemetery.

 

A short while later, the few people attending the ceremony were gathered around an open niche inside one of the more modern vaults of the newest section of the old graveyard.

 

Since Faith had been a Slayer, Giles and Wesley had been allowed to withdraw funds from the special account the Council allocated strictly for the purpose of burying the Slayers.

 

The vault had previously been selected after much discussion between Watchers, Buffy and Angel. Since Faith had listed Angel as her only next of kin, he’d been allowed the final decision. Choosing the vault had allowed him to attend the planned daytime ceremony.

 

Anya and Xander had attended, but then pled other obligations and left immediately afterwards.

The younger man’s dislike of Angel was well known, as was Anya’s normal outspokenness about the woman with whom Xander previously had an intimate encounter.

The fact that he and Anya were currently not a couple, or that Faith was dead, mattered not in the least to the vengeance demon.

 

As the group left the burial niche, Dawn glimpsed movement behind them from the corner of her eye; but when she looked directly at the surrounding area, there was nothing gout of the ordinary to be seen.

The new Slayer shook her head slightly and continued on to the car.

 

 

 

~*~

 

 

The telephone was ringing as they arrived back at Buffy’s house.

Buffy grabbed the phone just inside the back door. “Summers’ residence… Yes, he’s here, just a moment please.” Buffy covered the mouthpiece of the telephone as she looked for Giles, motioning him to hurry inside. As he walked through the door, Buffy whispered to him, “I think it’s somebody from the Council. He said his name was Melford?”

“He’s the assistant head of the Watcher’s Council. Let me see what he wants. Can you get everyone to give me a bit of quiet in here, please, Buffy?”

 

The blonde nodded and went back outside so she could warn the stragglers to keep the noise down as they passed through the kitchen.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Dawn sat on the sofa next to her sister as they anxiously waited to find out why the Council had called Giles. Buffy knew it couldn’t be good news. After all, it was the Council and she’d never known them to call with anything other than problems.

As she thought about it, the movement in the cemetery was still bothering Dawn. The younger girl had already decided it couldn’t be a vampire, not in daylight. Most of the demons she’d studied so far or knew about from years as the ‘Slayer’s sister’ wouldn’t be out during the day either. “Buffy, did you notice anything unusual when we were leaving after Faith’s funeral?”

“No. Like what, Dawn?”

 

“I thought I saw something run across that area between the bushes behind the crypt, but when I looked, there wasn’t anything there.”

 

“Is it possible you saw a shadow from a branch or something, Dawn?” Wesley had heard the quiet exchange between the sisters.

 

“No. I think I know a tree branch, Wesley, and they don’t ever look like they’re running.”

 

“It was simply a question, Dawn. You know there are very few demons that would be out in the daylight.” Wesley tried to explain, having followed the same logic as his Slayer, unbeknownst to him.

 

“I didn’t feel any vamps or demons in the area.” Angel offered his contribution to the conversation.

 

“Well, if no one saw anything except me, maybe it was my imagination.” Dawn sounded sulky even to herself. She knew she’d seen something, she just didn’t know what it could have been.

Buffy remembered what everything was like after she’d been ‘called’ and put an arm around her sister. “It might have been, Dawn, but then again, we see things other people might not notice. You just keep paying attention to anything odd. My own ‘paranoia’ found problems often enough.”

“Buffy…” Giles had entered the living room. He looked very puzzled, as well as worried.

Seeing that the older man was disturbed, Buffy got up and went to stand beside him, laying a hand on his arm. “Giles, what is it? Is everything okay?”

“No. No, it isn’t, Buffy. It seems that Quentin Travers was responsible for the assaults on you and Dawn recently. He may have had Faith murdered as well. He has released the vampires from the basement of the Council’s keep -”

“Vampires? Why would they still have vampires there?” Buffy felt the anger start to build and hurriedly pushed it back down.

“Like the one they loosed for the test on your eighteenth birthday, I suppose.”

 

“But that makes no sense, Giles. I’m way past eighteen, so was Faith. Dawn’s not close yet and we’re the only Slayers around. After all, there’s only suppose to be one of us anyway, so why a bunch of vamps?”

“I dread even thinking it, but Quentin may have been continuing to experiment, or perhaps he gathered these after learning about your recent death and revival... The middle one, not this last one.”

“I was still mostly alive; I keep telling you!” Buffy glared at first Giles, then Dawn for spilling the information to Angel, who told Giles.

“I think the problem was the ‘partly dead’ portion of that equation, Buffy. But be that as it may, what’s done is done. It seems Quentin released the vampires with instructions to locate and kill you. He was overheard to say that if he couldn’t get you back to England, he’d simply have you killed. You know he’s never really been very fond of you since you told him off and suggested he, ah, bite you. His last visit about Glory didn’t help either.”

“Giles, if the man can’t take a joke… Well, he just needs to become an engineer, build a bridge and get over it!”

“I’m afraid it’s you he plans to ‘get over’, Buffy. We’ll have to take extra precautions in case any of the vampires have managed to make their way here to Sunnydale.”

“Yeah. Good ol’ Sunnydale. Our own ‘we-b-hell’ fun magnet. Well, if they show up, we have two Slayers, two Watchers, a vampire on our side...” Buffy’s expression fell suddenly as she added the totals. “I wish we had two vampires too…” She turned abruptly and headed up the stairs. As she passed Willow, the redhead saw the tears on her friend’s face.

 

 

~*~

 

Spike looked at the lights of San Diego as he walked down the street, heading away from the docks.

The Morning Tide had docked earlier that evening. Captain Ramirez had surprised him by giving him a few dollars as the vampire prepared to leave the ship.

“You have been very honorable. You didn’t kill any of my men and you worked hard. What are you that you can look as you do, yet endure the sunlight and kill none of us?”

Spike looked sadly at the man. “I’m simply me. I’m lost. I may have lost the most important thing in the world to me, and I’m still a long way from home. I guess I’m just ‘sorrow’.” Spike held out his hand to the man. “Thank you for getting me this far.”

The grimy, bald man didn’t really understand what the stranger was talking about, but could tell the man was unhappy. He’d almost have said brokenhearted, but ‘his’ kind didn’t know how to care about others, did they? Yet, the captain was unsure what the blonde man’s actual ‘kind’ was now. “I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for.”

“Thanks.” Spike hoisted his meager belongings on his shoulder and headed down the gangplank. He knew the direction for Sunnydale and now even had a few dollars to get him that much closer.

 

He missed Buffy with an ache that threatened to shatter his newly beating heart.

 

 

~*~

 

 

The new vampire woke with a craving that ran through his veins like a raging fire. It was more than hunger or thirst; it was a white-hot edge of need so strong it was pain. He knew the only way to quench it was to find a source of hot, life-giving blood.

 

Staggering to his feet, he stumbled down an alleyway, homing in on the scent of wine-soaked blood nearby.

In a matter of minutes, he’d located the drunken man who’d had the misfortune of passing out on the back stoop of a closed shop.

 

Refreshed and with a slight ‘buzz’ from the alcohol saturated blood, the new Quentin Travers went in search of the vampire that had sired him. He planned a long and painful death for his sire before he took over the others and set about planning the destruction of Buffy Summers.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Buffy stood in her room, facing the mirror, yet saw only her own memories.

 

The last few days had suddenly all come crashing down like a ton of bricks. Spike was still missing and she loved him. But she’d done a horrible thing with Angel. She knew in the back of her mind that other forces were at work that seemed to keep propelling her in directions she’d not planned yet still she ended there anyway. Her mind was in turmoil wondering where Spike was, when, or even if, he was coming back. If he’d find out about Angel…

 

Clasping her hands over her mouth, Buffy whirled and dashed for the bathroom, nauseated. With the nausea came fear. Fear that Willow had been wrong; fear that she was pregnant with Angel’s child. It was something she’d have given almost anything for several years ago, but now she could only think of it as the ultimate expression of her betrayal of the vampire she loved.

“Buffy? Are you okay?”  Willow’s voice drifted into the bathroom from Buffy’s bedroom.

 

Buffy wanted to answer, wanted to reassure her friend, wanted to say something that would prove she really was all right. However, she found it’s very hard to talk when all her breath was being taken by attempting to barf her socks up the hard way.

 

There was no possible way to keep Willow from hearing the sound.

“Buffy, it's obvious you’re not all right. I’ll be right back.” The redhead turned, running down the stairs two at a time in her haste to reach Giles. Willow’s anxiety for her best friend was the reason she also forgot how acute a vampire’s hearing was, so Angel got her message as quickly as Giles. “Giles... Buffy’s upstairs being sick. Like throwing up sick!”

“Oh, Lord! You may have been wrong with your ‘scan’.”

Moving faster than Willow had seen in some time, the Watcher raced up the stairs.

 

Angel beat him by the simple expedient of jumping over the railing and up the steps.

 

By the time Willow climbed the stairs behind the two men, she had a small following of Wesley, Dawn and Lindsey.

Angel reached the bathroom first and knelt beside Buffy, who was leaning her face against the cold porcelain of the fixture as she sat on the tile floor.

The dark-haired vampire tried to pull her into his arms, only to be quickly rebuffed.

“No! Don’t, Angel. That’s what started this and I can’t… I just can’t do this again. I care about you, but I love Spike! A… and he’s... he’s gone!”

 

Tear streamed down her face as, unbeknownst to the slender blonde, the real reason for her simple upset stomach emerged.

“I love him and he’s gone and I don’t know if he’s all right or if he’s coming back and if he does how do I explain what happened with you, if he finds out and I don‘t even understand it myself!” Tears streamed down her cheeks with every word.

Angel sat back on his heels, finally understanding the depth of Buffy’s inner turmoil. With a heavy sadness, he understood that his attempts to comfort her were only increasing her emotional distraught.

 “Buffy, it’s okay. It was my fault. If he finds out, I’ll tell him it was my fault. He’ll be back, Buffy. You know he could never stay away from you.” The same way I’ve always had so much trouble staying away from you since the first time I saw you.  “I’ll go back downstairs and see if I can make a few calls or something and find out where he might be, all right?” Angel backed away as Buffy nodded her head in agreement.

He didn’t realize that she would agree to just about anything so he’d go away and leave her in her misery. She was trying hard not to blame Angel for what they had done together, but his nearness only seemed to cause her to feel even guiltier.

 

As soon as Angel moved away from Buffy, still sitting on the tile floor, Giles and Willow tried to move closer to the crying woman, but their well-meaning questions made her cry even more.

Finally, they too stepped out of the small room, unsure of what to do.

 

Dawn wanted to help her sister, yet knew she didn’t have the experience. When Wesley suggested they go back to the kitchen, the teen didn’t argue but the worried expression never left her face either.

Lindsey had stood back from the small crowd as he watched their efforts to calm the girl they all cared about, some more than others. Eventually, he was the only person left in the room. He felt he might be able to get through to her where those closest to her had failed.

The young lawyer with the very old eyes walked into the bathroom and sat down on the tile floor a short distance from the still sobbing woman. “Buffy? I’d like to help if I could… If you’ll let me?”

“You don’t even know me, Lindsey. Why would you bother for a stranger? How can you know what I’m feeling?” She tried not to snap at him since he was trying to help her, but the words sounded harsh through her tear-choked throat.

“You help strangers all the time, just like Angel and his crew in L.A.. Think you have a monopoly on that? I’m just trying to help on a one-to-one basis right now. And you’re right, I don’t know how you feel, but I can take a good guess at how Spike might feel.”

That got her attention.

 

She turned her swollen, blotchy, tear-stained face to look at the man sitting beside her on the floor. “What makes you think you can possibly know how Spike would feel about what I’ve done?”

This time the snarl was intended.

 

“Because I was pretty much in love with Darla when she went to Angel. When she slept with him and laughed at me about it. When she came back to my apartment and cleared out her clothes and left me because of him.”

He had Buffy’s full attention now and knew it. The odd thought that it wasn’t much different than catching the eyes of a jury crossed his mind. “Here, let me help you up. You wash your face, blow your nose and we’ll talk about this. Cause if you don’t, it’s just gonna make you sick again.”

“Sick? You think it was just that making me sick?”

It was an explanation for her sudden nausea that hadn’t occurred to her, and hope rose in her voice.

“Yeah, I do. Clean up and let’s talk.”

 

Lindsey walked out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him, giving her some privacy as he waited in her room, sitting on the floor, leaning back on her bed.

 

It was about five minutes later when a much less bedraggled Buffy emerged from the bathroom. She still snuffled a bit into the wad of tissues clutched in her hand, but she was more the woman he’d seen that first night, the one that was filled with fire and lightening and made the very air around her taste of power.

“You look a lot better now. Come sit down. Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.” Lindsey grinned at her as he patted the floor next to him, indicating she should sit beside him.

Buffy actually smiled slightly at his manner as she sat where he indicated. Then, first with halting words that soon spilled from her mouth so rapidly they fell over themselves, she told him about Spike.

“He sounds like a very different vampire than Angel. From what you say, it sounds like he loves you and has loved you for a while. Oh, I think he’ll figure out what happened, if only because everyone is so obviously trying to hide it, and I’ll guess there’ll be a fight with Angel.” Lindsey chuckled slightly.

 “You should have seen what I did to him. I went after him with a sledgehammer! But instead of killing me or hurting me, he just broke my hand.”

Buffy looked at both of Lindsey’s hands, puzzled at the comment.

“Oh, I had an artificial hand then. It’s a long story that we don’t really need to go into right now. Let’s just say that things were different then and I had a lot of reasons to be really angry with our boy Angel. That’s why I think I can understand your Spike. Even more since I’ve heard your story. You see, Angel and I have crossed paths more than once...”

 

It was several hours before Buffy and Lindsey stopped talking… and laughing.

They staggered down the stairs, arm in arm, as they continued to banter partial comments back and forth, both dabbing at teary eyes, but this time from mirth.

Entering the kitchen, Lindsey caught an inquiring look from the three men. He gave a slight shake of his head to let them know not to say anything. He’d tell them later.

“Giles, I’m sorry I snarled at you. I’m sorry that when I snarl now, it’s really kinda… snarly.” Buffy giggled as she hugged her Watcher, to his immense surprise, then headed toward the counter and the meal laid out there.

 

Filling a plate and grabbing a glass of tea, Buffy walked past Angel on her way to the other side of the table. On impulse, she leaned slightly and kissed the vampire on the cheek. “Mandy? Oh, geeze, Angel…”

 

The vampire turned to glare at Lindsey’s back.

 

 

                                                            ~*~

 

The truck pulled over at the edge of the exit so the slender blonde man could slide out with his meager pack.

“Thanks, mate. I appreciate the ride.”

 

“Welcome. Down that ramp and about a mile or so and you’re back in town. You’ll see the city limit sign.”

Spike smiled to himself. “Yeah, I know that sign. Thanks again, mate.”

 

He turned and headed down the highway ramp. In just a few short minutes of walking, Spike saw the much-abused Sunnydale city limits sign. Even though the majority of the abuse had come from him at one time or another, today, standing in the late afternoon sunlight, he thought the sign was a beautiful sight.

 

 

~*~

 

 

‘The night is falling like an angel

on your memory

And we are well acquainted

We are sworn enemies

And the lonely beating of my heart tonight

is only one more thing I gotta fight

Well I think about you baby

Days of heaven that we had

Then I get to thinking maybe

-Maybe too much thinking's bad’

 

 

The sun had barely set when Buffy put her plate in the sink, as there was a knock on the back door. She splashed a bit of water into the plate, turned off the tap and went to open the door.

“Hullo, love. I’ve missed you.”

 

“SPIKE!!!” Buffy flung herself at him, wrapping her legs around his waist and arms around his neck. Spike had dropped his bag as she launched herself at him. He wrapped both arms around her as he whirled in a slow circle, supporting her entire weight.

It only took seconds for them to find each other’s lips in a kiss that tried to express how much they had missed each other.

 

Just inside the doorway, a crowd had gathered, hearing the squeal from Buffy. They saw Spike with Buffy wrapped around his body and stood to watch their reunion, a smile on each face at the obvious joy and love between the blonde Slayer and the slender blonde vampire.

Everyone except Angel.

 

The dark-haired vampire stood back in the shadows of the kitchen, watching as Spike and Buffy kissed. Watched as Angel’s demon, the beast inside of him, struggled to throw off the shackles of the soul that also dwelled inside. Watching as someone else kissed the woman he’d loved and claimed so long ago then had made love to again just hours before.

“Angel, are you all right?” Giles asked quietly. He’d seen the struggle rage through the vampire as he watched Buffy’s reunion with Spike.

“Yeah... Yeah, I am. Just a fleeting urge... competition and all, you know.”

 

“Yes, I do understand. You’re quite sure you’re all right?” Giles felt Angel was being less than honest and feared the possible consequences for Buffy and Spike, as well as Angel or anyone that got in their way, should the situation boil over into a fight.

“Yeah. I think I’ll go... I don’t know... take a walk or check the training equipment or something...”

Angel turned and quickly walked past the older Watcher, heading for the front door and a clear space where he could no longer see the woman who used to love him, kissing someone else.

 

 

~*~

 

 

Spike finally stood Buffy back on her own two feet. She looked intently into his face for a long moment, then balled her fist and hit him square in the jaw.

“Where the hell have you been, Spike? Why did you leave? Do you have any idea what has been happening here?”

The blonde vampire picked himself up from the floor as he rubbed his jaw. “‘S’right, love. I deserved that. I was bloody well brassed off at you, Slayer. I went to get this chip out of my head, but got something rather different instead. I… I’m not sure how to tell you what happened, but I’ll try. I do want to know what’s happened here, love. Have you been okay?”

“You mean other than dying again? Sure, just peachy.”

 

“D… dying?” Spike’s voice cracked with the shock that he might have lost her beyond anything he could fix while he was gone.

“Spike, I think the two of you should come inside. There are a lot of things to explain and some of us might have cooler heads than our favorite Slayer right now.” Giles had remained standing in the kitchen after Angel left. He’d been paying attention and had noticed something unusual about the blonde vampire, if vampire he still was…

 

The Watcher thought a very long conversation was definitely in order.

 

 

~*~

 

 

            “So you did all of that and the demon just made you drink something? I don’t get it, Spike.” Buffy was puzzled, but Giles had quietly filled in a number of blanks in his own mind about the vampire’s current situation after hearing Spike’s story.

Spike had also been brought up to date on the majority of the occurrences since his departure. Giles didn’t think that Angel and Buffy’s recent... encounter should be mentioned, so he’d deliberately omitted it.

“Buffy… Lean your head against Spike’s chest.”

 

Spike shot a look of alarm at the older man for that particular comment. The blonde vampire knew instantly that Giles suspected what had actually happened to him.

Buffy simply looked perplexed yet did as she was asked.

 

She felt Spike stiffen as she leaned her head against him but had no idea why… for about 15 seconds. She heard the thump of his beating heart, felt the rise and fall of his chest as he inhaled then exhaled. Very slowly, she sat up and looked into her lover’s face, her eyes wide, disbelieving. “Spike… w… what happened? Why do you have a… a heart beat? Why are you breathing?”

He gently took her by both shoulders, “Buffy, I was really angry. That fight we had… I said… I… I said that I wanted to be able to give you what you deserved. I was angry and wanted the chip out. But I also said that I wanted to be someone you could love as much as I love you. That part was just to myself, but the demon heard me anyway. He… he… The demon made me as close to human as he could, Buffy. I woke up and I was breathing. I have a heartbeat. I can go out in the sunlight. He also gave me back my soul, Buffy.”

She reached a hand to touch his face, finding it difficult to comprehend what she was hearing, what she was seeing. Her words were barely a whisper of sound. “Your soul? Daylight? You breathe and your heart beats? Spike… what… why…?” Buffy balled the other hand into a fist that she crammed against her mouth. “Oh, God! What are you now?”

 

 

~*~

 

 ‘I still get lost in your eyes

And it seems like I can't live a day without you

Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away

To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right’

 

 

Two hours later, after a myriad of tears, explanations, questions and recriminations, the remainder of the recent events in Sunnydale and Spike’s experiences had been explained and examined in minute detail by one vampire, two Slayers, two Watchers, a witch, a lawyer and a partridge in a pear tree.

 

Angel was the only person missing and not up-to-date on the recent events.

 

Except for one tiny detail…

 

No one, not a single person, had mentioned the middle of the night encounter between Buffy and Angel.

“Spike. Let me make you something to eat.” Buffy offered.

 

“Ah, Buffy... I’ll be most happy to handle the meal.” Giles interrupted her.

 

“I know you hate my cooking, Giles. Actually, I hate my cooking too, but I keep trying. Sure, I’ll let you make dinner, but only if you’ll at least let me help. I’ve never gotten to cook for Spike before.”

“For which he should be eternally grateful, I’m sure.”  Giles muttered under his breath even as he nodded in agreement.

 

But Spike and Buffy’s enhanced hearing caught the slight whisper.

The blonde vampire struggled to choke back a laugh even as Buffy ground her teeth together, forcing herself to try to stay calm.

 

Spike quickly kissed her cheek as he stood. “‘S’okay, love. Let Rupert do dinner. I need to throw away a few leftovers from that trip and then catch a shower before I eat.”

Spike picked up his meager bag, walked back through the kitchen and out the back door to the trashcan beside the steps. He sorted through the bag, pulling out the items that were beyond salvaging and lifted the lid to dump the small pile of items inside. On the very top of the trash inside the can was a shirt and pair of boxers he recognized. The sigh stopped him short. The shirt was one of Buffy’s favorites for sleeping and the boxers… The boxers were a pair he’d left in her bedroom when he’d… disappeared

The blonde vamp dropped the trashcan lid as he reached to pick up the obviously torn clothing.

 

Holding them up, he could see the gaping rips down the middle of the shirt, the tears in the sides of the shorts. But worst of all, was the combined scent that wafted through the air from the clothes. The scent of Buffy, and Angel… and sex.

“Buffy!!” Spike bellowed from outside, his demon raging inside.

 

The instant the Slayer stepped through the doorway, she realized what had happened; but try as she might, she couldn’t find any words to tell the man she loved that what he saw and smelled wasn’t exactly what it looked and smelled like.

 

As she struggled to find words in an attempt to explain, she was interrupted by a familiar deep voice from the darkness.

“Did you think I’d leave her by herself, once you’d left her?” Angel stepped from the shadows; his demon finally having won the struggle as evidenced by the familiar disfiguration of his face.

“I know what’s happened to her, Angel. I know about the changes she’s been dealing with… I understand enough to know you could have resisted more than she could have. She’s new to all of this. You’ve had over two hundred and fifty years. This is your fault, Angel.”

“Oh yeah! Blame me, Spikey-boy. Blame me when she came to me, when she wanted me, when she was like a wild animal beneath me… Yeah, blame me for that.” Angel’s demon swaggered into the light from the street lamp, closer to the back steps.

 

Buffy took a step forward, aghast at Angel’s words, only to be caught from behind by several hands as Willow, Giles, Wesley and Lindsey reached to restrain her.

“Let them work this out, Buffy.” Dawn cautioned her sister.

 

Buffy stood where she was and watched, fear for both vampires wrapped tightly around her heart.

 

The insults and taunts got worse and worse as Angel and Spike circled each other, their inner demons now plain on their face.

Spike waited. He knew Angel. Knew how the vampire thought, how he would fight. He also knew that Angel had no idea of the changes he’d endured, had no idea how the new Spike would react.

As expected, Angel lunged for the blonde vampire in the midst of an insult designed to catch the younger man off balance.

Spike sidestepped Angel then whirled to catch him in the mouth with a staggering blow.

 

The fight was on in earnest from that second.

 

The onlookers winced often at the sheer force of the blows struck by each vampire. Over and over, they rolled across the ground, blood flowing freely, flesh swelling and bruising. The demons gnashed their teeth, wanting to tear into the flesh of their rival, but each time it seemed one would do so, the other managed to elude the ripping bite.

Finally, with a carefully planned move that looked sudden, Spike tripped Angel, his weight riding Angel’s body down to the ground, one arm around his sire’s throat, the other grasping his chin as he pulled Angel’s head back.

“Now, you will give over any imagined ‘rights’ or ‘claims’ on her to me. I love her and she loves me. You won’t take advantage of her again!” Spike growled into Angel’s ear, so full of rage it was difficult to understand his words.

“Or you’ll do what?” Angel taunted him, his own words a harsh wheeze as they pushed past the punishing grip around his throat.

“Just this. I’m the one on top here. I’m the one that makes the rules in this.” Spike jerked Angel’s head back with a resounding crack and bit deep into his sire’s throat, tearing at the flesh. He sucked hard at the ragged wound, then spat the blood onto the ground.

For a vampire, it was a deadly insult to refuse the blood, especially a sire’s blood. For Spike, it was a necessity since his altered body wouldn’t accept the blood any longer…

 

But Angel didn’t know that.

 

“You win. You’re dominate.” The words rattled and gasped from the ragged, ruined throat. The onlookers saw the fearful wound healing even as they watched and relaxed slightly. They had feared Spike would try to kill Angel for his intimacies with Buffy.

 

Spike pulled himself from Angel’s back and waited for his grand-sire to rise from the ground.

Struggling to his feet, as if he felt every year of his existence, Angel slowly turned to face his grandchilde, blood soaking the side of his torn shirt.

“We’ll bloody well never speak of this again. It’s over.” Spike told the older vampire, right before his clenched fist came from behind his back, catching Angel on the point of his chin and taking him back to the ground.

The blonde vampire wearily walked to the steps, pulling Buffy into his arms, shushing her tears against his shoulder as she clung to him.

 

 

~*~

 

‘How the faces of love have changed

Turning the pages,

And I have changed, oh, but you -

You remain ageless

I turned around

And the water was closing all around

Like a glove

Like the love that had finally,

Finally found me’

 

 

Angel and Spike had cleaned up in separate bathrooms. Coming back downstairs to the living room, Angel looked at Spike with surprise, suspicion and new respect.

“I’m sorry. You’re right, I could have stopped it, but I know it was something she and I had left unfinished for much too long.”

“I know that too, but she’s with me and I love her. I’d never hurt her and I won’t let you hurt her again.”

“So do we try not to kill each other any more?”

 

“As long as you don’t try to grab my girl.”

 

“I think I can manage that. Between her biting and you biting... I’ve been bitten about as much as I can stand. Friends finally, Spike?”

“Well, how about we start with ‘not-enemies’?”

 

“That works too. I think I need to find a chiropractor, though.”

 

The two vampires chuckled at Angel’s comment for a moment until interrupted by the ringing of the phone.  Angel reached to answer it; but after a few seconds, he covered the receiver with his hand and called to Giles.

Hearing the phone picked up in the other room, Angel hung up the extension.

 

Giles slowly replaced the telephone receiver, then asked everyone to join him in the living room. They could see that the call had upset the older man, but waited with barely concealed nervousness for the reason. “That was Melford again, the assistant head of the Council. It seems that Quentin’s plans to have the vampires kill Buffy have gone somewhat astray. The Council has it on good authority that Quentin was turned and even now is seeking a way to have his revenge on you, Buffy. Now that he’s a vampire, he’s completely mad, I’d think. No offense, Spike, Angel. Travers wasn’t too stable recently. Melford has asked me to return to England to head the Council temporarily until they can hold a conclave to decide on a permanent new Head Master.”

“B… but what about the magick you were going to teach me? The control I’ve got to learn, Giles?”

Willow interrupted, as the one bit of security she’d had since Tara’s death, was being whisked away from her. That her friends were more than willing to provide moral support was something she couldn’t see in her current state. They couldn’t provide the skills she desperately needed for the powerful forces inside of her now.

“I’d like for you to go with me, Willow. I understand how important it is for you to learn how to control your magicks so they can’t control you ever again. Then too, I may have need of your assistance to help protect Buffy and Dawn from there. Wesley will be here, as will Spike, so I feel more secure in leaving at this juncture. Will you accompany me, Willow?”

“Ah... yeah. I mean, it’s kinda a scary thought, but not knowing how to control myself is even scarier. And I’ll get to see England.” Willow tried to put a bright face on the sudden disruption of her life.

 “When do we have to leave?”

“As soon as possible, I’m afraid. Perhaps you can pack what you need immediately and Buffy and Dawn can send the remainder to you later?” Giles looked at the two Slayers for agreement, which he received.

Buffy stood up and walked to the older man, gently wrapping her arms around him as she nestled her head into his chest. “You have to be careful, Giles. I thought you’d stay this time, but now you have to leave again and you’re taking my best friend with you.”

“We’ll be careful, Buffy. I think between Wesley and Spike, you and Dawn will be safe, or at least as safe as we can make things for you.” Giles looked at the dark-haired vampire while he held the blonde Slayer in his arms. Angel hadn’t uttered a word so far. “What are your plans, Angel?”

“I have to go back to L.A. Since Wesley is staying here, I’m hoping Lindsey might come with me to kinda fill in that vacant spot we seem to have.” He looked to the lawyer and saw the nod of agreement.  “We’ll do whatever we need to from that end to protect the girls here.”

“Good. That seems to be taken care of then. I’ll go make our reservations while Willow packs. We’ll have some time afterwards to talk before we have to leave tomorrow morning.” Giles headed toward the stairs, then stopped suddenly as he remembered something important. “Angel, can you please make sure that the Crystal of Luna gets back to Yanni’s people? They’ll be back to pick it up.”

“Yeah, I can do that. I kinda wanted to talk a bit more to that young man anyway.”

 

“Good. I’ll depend on you to handle that for me.”

 

 

~*~

 

 

‘I step out of my skin             

you wouldn't know me now          

I won't be your soft one

I won't be encircled              

you might become something I need 

and you must not

must not get closer

couldn't I go away

with the dust of your words in my

mouth?’

 

 

They had taken Giles and Willow to the airport earlier that day and waved until the plane was out of sight.

Angel had taken the Crystal of Luna through the sewers to return it to its Kalderash keepers as well as discuss a very personal concern with them. He headed back to Los Angeles late that evening.

 

Buffy and Spike sat on the sofa, snuggled together as a movie ran unheeded on the television. They had eyes only for each other as they talked more of the recent events that had caused so much change for them.

Wesley and Dawn had taken patrol tonight, alone for the first time.

 

They’d cleaned out a small nest of vampires at the edge of the cemetery and were finally heading home; tired and looking somewhat bedraggled.

            “Well, don’t you two just look all tired?”

Wesley and Dawn turned abruptly, but it was Wesley that stammered in shock. “F… F… Faith? But you’re dead. We buried you.”

“Oooo! Ten points for the Watcher guy! Right on, dude. That you did. So how’s it going now? You and Dawnie teaming up as Slayer and Watcher?”

“Faith? You’re Faith? But if you’re dead, what are you doing here?” Dawn struggled with the fact that this woman was dead even though she apparently stood in front of them, looking incredibly solid and alive.

“Yep, that’s me. Or was me, or what’s left of me... It’s kinda confusing sometimes… But it’s me and I’m here now with you two.” The dark-haired apparition seemed much too cheerful.

“Faith… Why are you here? You are dead, after all.”

“Well, it’s like this, Wes. Seems the Powers think I need to do a bit more making up for all the evil bad I did. So they assigned me to you two. I’m suppose to help you guys, offer tips, watch out for you and all... Me... watchin’ the Watcher!” The ghost shook her head full of ghostly dark brown curls as she laughed at her own comments.

            “You mean... You’re a ghost and you’re going to be haunting us?” Dawn wasn’t sure she liked the sound of this at all.

“Not hauntin’ ya, Dawnie. I’ll be along to help you out. Where ever you and Wes are... well, that’s where I’ll be too. Sounds like it might be a blast... kinda.”

“Oh!” Dawn was completely speechless at ‘Faith’s’ announcement.

 

Wesley slapped his hand to his forehead. “Oh Lord! A new Slayer and a ghost Slayer… Why me?”

 

“Don’t worry, Wes. It’ll be bitchin’!”

‘Faith’ grinned at both of her new charges before she faded from sight.

 

 

Gillian Silverlight     8/28/02