Title: Can You See

Author: Gillian Silverlight

Distribution: My site, Avalon’s, those that already have permission to post my fic. All others please ask. (If you post my fic. Please do not rearrange the sentence groupings. It can alter the flow of the story. Thanks.)

Disclaimer: Joss, the WB, UPN, ME, Fox and everyone except me owns them. I just play with them.

Summary: This fiction takes place after “Reunion” and in a different time frame than “The Crush”. It includes elements from “The Trial” (‘Angel the Series’)

I have drawn on events in Avalon’s work, “Love is Blind” (yes, she does know and this is an “unauthorized sequel”), as well as part of a speculation from ‘Samantha’ on the WB

Feedback forum. My thanks to both of them for, adding to this story in their own ways.

**This is the fourth story I wrote when I had just begun to think I might actually be able to write. I have now done a massive re-write on this to try and eliminate some of the ‘eeewww’ factor.**

Rating: NC-17

Lyrics: ‘Fear’ by Sarah McLaughlan; ‘Love Bites’ by Def Leppard; ‘Get Me To The World On Time’ By The Electric Prunes; ‘Cuts You Up’ by Peter Murphy; ‘Truly, Madly, Deeply’ By Savage Garden; ‘Are You Feeling Me’ by Aaliyah; ‘I’ll Meet You Half Way’ by David Cassidy

Can You See?

After the events the Valet had shown her, Buffy had more questions than before, yet she had been unable to ask them of the odd man that had overseen the barbaric tortures Spike had endured, called the Trial.

Once she’d made her way back to the antechamber, even many of her original questions had been forgotten, as the Valet had shown her what Spike had actually done in order to win back her eyesight. Possibly because the unusual little Englishman infuriated her almost as much as Spike did.

However, some even more troubling questions had insinuated themselves into her mind later, after she confronted Spike, questions regarding his willing sacrifice for her and the remainder of the night, what they had done…

* No, don’t think about what we were doing. *

Buffy shook her head, trying desperately to will away the memory of his touch, his lips on hers, the feel of his body...

* NO! This is not helping! Think about something else. Like that incredibly boring translation describing what some idiot thought the Trial actually is…*

The text Giles insisted she read regarding the ‘Trial’ had her struggling to stay awake after the first two pages. The only real information it actually contained was the single statement about the champion having to make the ‘ultimate sacrifice’.

After her years spent on the Hellmouth, Buffy could think of quite a few things that could be considered by some to be the ‘ultimate sacrifice’, yet no amount of fantasizing could have prepared her for the shock of learning what Spike had truly done. What he had been willing to risk, to surrender… just to restore her sight.

It had been equally as staggering to discover what the individual tests in the Trial had entailed; the fight against a huge demon where Spike was allowed no weapon except his own ingenuity; then the horrifying corridor of crosses with the single key that could release him, resting beneath almost a foot of holy water. Buffy could only imagine the pain the vampire had endured when he’d had to plunge his unprotected arm into what was, for him, pure acid.

But it was the final challenge that was causing Buffy the most difficulty. She knew what Spike was… He was a soul-less, evil, demon-filled killer.

To learn that Spike had given up a chance to be rid of the chip inside his head, and the opportunity to be able to feed on humans again, to once again be able to kill her or her friends, was to discover the antithesis of everything she knew of Spike. And yet he’d been willing to give his life for her. He told her he loved her. He’d made love to her.

Buffy tried to convince herself that Spike had some ulterior motive in his actions, but a small voice inside her railed against that idea regardless of how she tried to tell herself otherwise. The petite blonde Slayer didn’t understand why Spike had endured all that he had… for her! But she did know that if she ever truly accepted the blonde vampire’s actions as unselfish, her heart would be the price. And that was not something she was willing to pay…

Was she?

Try as she would, and Buffy knew she’d certainly been trying, she couldn’t erase the memory of what they had done together. At first he’d been hard, demanding… just like she’d asked of him, but not brutal or uncaring. In fact, he’d made sure she had been pleased before seeking his own release in her body. But afterwards… Every time afterwards…

Buffy blushed as she thought about how many times they’d…

She had to admit, at least to herself, that after the first time, Spike had made love to her and had done it well... He’d been tender but bold, considerate but never to the point that she’d felt idolized or fragile. She certainly hadn’t been bored or left feeling unfulfilled.

* No, he certainly satisfied anything I wanted. In fact, if I was any more satisfied, I wouldn’t have been able to sit down or walk at all! *

Buffy couldn’t see the smile that curved her face as she remembered that she’d not left Spike’s crypt until well after dawn. She allowed her mind to drift momentarily before jerking herself up short. * Forgot what I was trying to think about! Jeeze, distracted much, Summers? *

Ruefully, Buffy acknowledged that she was distracted all too often lately and it always seemed to have something to do with Spike for some reason.

Struggling to get her thoughts back on track, Buffy recalled that the Valet had told her that the last portion of the test had been about her and not Spike. While events had been transpiring, she hadn’t thought about what she was doing or why, she only knew that after everything Spike had done for her that evening, she couldn’t let him die.

Even now, the possibility of the vampire not being in her life filled her with mixed feelings. Part of her knew that her existence would be so much simpler, calmer, without him around to irritate her at ever opportunity. But the rest of her felt a chill rush like ice water, filling her chest, clogging her breath at the very thought of Spike gone.

Was this what the Valet had yammered on about? Was this the ‘enlightenment’ she was supposed to find from the surreal events that night? She’d offered her blood, her life source to save Spike, yet found she had no regrets about how close she had actually come to dying. Not then or now. Was her willing sacrifice simply ‘left-over’ from her earlier decision to die and allow a new Slayer to take her place?

It was easier to think that was the cause instead of actually looking inside herself for the truth. Buffy felt that whatever she might find from such introspection was more than she wanted to know, more than she could handle right now…

* God, I am so confused! And what was that whole deal about Spike biting me right where Angel had? Was it just more arcane vampire crap that I don’t even want to know about? *

The problem was, Buffy DID want to know.

The irritating Valet had told her that she was too stubborn to see the truth. Spike had told her the same thing and then accused her of being afraid, as well.

Unfortunately, they were both right, and that was a large part of what was causing her to be so irritable.

She was afraid.

She was afraid to open herself enough to care, or to admit that she could care about someone. But she was particularly afraid to care for another vampire, especially one without a soul and was dangerous.

It was the one thing Buffy was certain about. Chipped or not, Spike was still dangerous. Dangerous to her sanity, her life, her heart.

* I SO cannot do this again! *

Since that night in the crypt, Buffy had been unsuccessfully trying to avoid Spike or even thinking about him. Such actions could only yield even more dangerous things like her feelings for him, his feelings for her, why he’d endured the Trial to restore her sight, why she’d almost given her life to save him…

“I don't wanna touch you too much baby

'Cos making love to you might drive me crazy”

~*~

* Bloody chit! She’s goin’ outta her way to avoid me. I s’pose it was all just fun and games for her. Oh, got her jollies, alright! I just went and confessed like some pouf that I love her! *

Spike was working hard to convince himself that he was angry because he felt Buffy had used him, instead of being angry at himself for telling her, for confessing that he loved her… The problem was, he did.

* How’n’ell did that happen? How could I fall for a Slayer, of all bleedin’ women in the bleedin’ world! *

Spike paced across the crypt, chain-smoking one cigarette after another. A strangled growl escaped from deep in his throat even as he continued to try and out run his thoughts. As much as he paced, they kept up, dogging his every step.

His mind ran four steps to the front, three to the side, four back, then three more to the other side, but always returned him to his starting point. A point that began and ended with Buffy Summers, vampire Slayer.

‘Love bites, love bleeds

It's bringin' me to my knees

Love lives, love dies

It's no surprise

Love begs, love pleads

It's what I need’

~*~

Giles had tried every trick that had previously been successful, in an attempt to convince Buffy to tell him about this ‘Trial’ Spike had undergone to restore her sight, yet his Slayer had emphatically refused to discuss it with him, finally threatening to not ever speak to him again if he persisted in trying to pry the information from her.

Giles knew it had been something extreme to enable Buffy to see once more. Her refusal to discuss the incident with him, simply reinforced Giles’ suspicions of the enormity of the circumstances.

The few books that even mentioned the Trial talked about ‘the ultimate sacrifice’, yet what that could have been for Spike, a soul-less demon that had murdered for over a hundred years, Giles couldn’t imagine. Well, actually he could imagine a great many things, but for any one of those to influence Buffy enough to allow the vampire to nearly drink her dry… Giles knew she’d done so with Angel to save his life, but she’d been in love with Angel. The Watcher cleaned his glasses again in an unconscious effort to see thing more clearly… He knew Spike loved his Slayer. The vampire gave himself away constantly, regarding his feelings for her. Giles saw the truth in the vampire’s face, his actions, the way Spike unconsciously leaned toward Buffy whenever he was around her, even if Buffy refused to recognize Spike’s actions. But Giles also knew categorically that Buffy wasn’t in love with Spike, so the question still remained.

WHAT had Spike done to elicit Buffy’s sacrifice?

Rubbing his hand wearily down his face with a sigh, Giles turned back to the books as he continued to search for information he knew wasn’t there.

* T’was bloody bad enough to endure Angel in love. But now a second vampire? One who doesn’t even have a soul? What did I ever do… *

“Not gonna be in there.”

Giles abruptly looked up from yet another book at the sound of the unfamiliar and unexpected voice. “W-who are you and what do you know about this mess? In fact, HOW do you know about it?”

“Whistler’s the name. Or at least it’s as good as any. Didn’t think you’d have forgotten me.”

“Oh. Yes, I do remember you now. That wasn’t exactly a time for fond memories...” Giles stared at the demon as he remembered when Angel had lost his soul and this same demon had shown up then, to deliver cryptic messages. The all too human visaged demon had been dressed much as he was now. Giles vaguely wondered if Whistler was always on the run from the ‘fashion police’, then shuddered as he realized the undue influence he’s absorbed spending entirely too much time with his young charge and her allies. Cordelia Chase in particular!

Mentally pulling away from such irrelevance, Giles asked the question Whistler was obviously waiting for, “So, what’s not going to be in here?” Then just for good measure he repeated, “And how do you know what I’m looking for anyway?”

“You’re looking for answers about the Trial. You want to know why William the Bloody was willing to sacrifice his life, or at least everything he’s known as a way of life for over a hundred years, for the Slayer. That was his ‘ultimate sacrifice’. That answer is the easy part. He loves her. Simple, right?” Whistler leaned slightly toward Giles, “What you really want to know is why he loves her, since after all, he’s just a soul-less animal that should be put down, right? Well, Watcher, to answer that question you’d have to ask the Powers That Be, except you can’t. So let’s just say it’s part of the Plan and leave it at that, shall we?”

“The Powers That Be? I thought they were the ones who brought Angel into her life. So now that he’s gone, they supply a second vampire? What do they have planned for Buffy that needs a vampire to be in love with her?”

“Can’t tell you that, mate. They don’t even tell me everything. I just get the information I need to know when I need to know it and I pass it along. All I can say is that lots of demons have feelings. Not usually vampires, but Spike’s always been a bit odd that way… among others.

Anyway, back to business, there’s this prophecy… which is why I’m here now.”

“What prophecy? D’you mean to tell me that we have another one to deal with now?”

“Yeah. You should know by now that there’s always another prophecy somewhere along the line.”

Whistler turned to examine a carved statue on the shelf beside him. “Oh, and there’s also a couple of nasty vampire types on their way to town for a visit.”

* A couple of nasty vampire types? Aren’t they all? *

“In case you’ve forgotten, this is the Hellmouth. There’s always an assortment of ‘nasty vampire types’, as you so quaintly put it.”

Whistler continued his perusal of the contents of the shelves, seemingly oblivious to Giles’ remarks.

“Let’s see. I can remember how the prophecy goes… You might want to write it down.”

The ill-dressed demon paused as he watched Giles scramble for pen and paper among the books scattered across the table. When the Watcher had pen in hand, Whistler continued, “ ‘And in the time before the Darkness, the One Who Had Passed Beyond shall return and join with the One Who Reads the Stars. They shall seek the Changed One and the blood of the Chosen One. Yet, shall the Chosen One be joined with the Changed One, the vampire who loves her. Together will they fight against the Darkness. In the Chosen One’s final hour, shall she be Turned, yet her soul restored. For great is the force she wields, having called forth the power of She Who Began. Long shall be the time before the Turning, yet for all time afterwards; the Chosen One and the Changed One shall stand shoulder to shoulder in battle against the darkness.

And the Souled One will join with the Chosen One to fight the coming Darkness, and they shall defeat the Returned One and She Who Reads the Stars.’”

Whistler dropped into a chair, his back taking on a distinct curve as he settled himself.

“I think that’s all of it.”

“You THINK that’s all of it?! Good lord, isn’t that enough! What the devil does it mean?” Giles looked at his own hasty scratches, devoutly hoping he’d still be able to decipher those same ‘scratchings’ once they’d ‘gotten cold’… Or he could hope for a few free moments to re-write the cryptic phrases soon. The Watcher shook his head slightly rejecting the likelihood of such an opportunity as he turned his attention back to Whistler.

“You’re the Watcher. Me, I’m just a demon messenger here. It’s up to you to figure it all out.”

“Wonderful. Thank you so much for your assistance, Whistler.” Giles sarcasm was thick enough to spread on toast.

“Hey! I am helping. I told you the prophecy, didn’t I?”

“Yes. Yes, you did. Did you need anything else of me now before my head explodes, as I’m sure it may do while I attempt to muddle through this.”

Whistler laughed, “Naw, Watcher. I’d just figure it out pretty quick if I were you. The first part has happened, the second part is about to. You might want to know, that’s all. Oh, and remember to keep an eye out for bad vampire types and keep an eye on our Slayer.”

“Exactly how many bloody eyes do you think I have?”

Whistler just laughed again as he walked into the wall and vanished, leaving Giles standing alone in the magick shop.

~*~

It had been several days since the night spent in his crypt when Spike finally caught up with Buffy while she patrolled. The blonde vampire was determined to discuss the events that had transpired between them. He’d offered his life to restore her sight; she’d made passionate love to him repeatedly, only to walk out on him, leaving him feeling used, alone and abandoned. It was not a feeling Spike had experienced often since he’d become a vampire over a hundred years before and he was determined he wasn’t going to allow Buffy to treat him this way. Not after what he'd done, what he’d admitted to her…

“Slayer! You’ve been avoiding me! I want to know why?”

Buffy turned in surprise. “Spike!”

She’d been trying to patrol when she thought Spike would be elsewhere, but it seemed she’d miscalculated tonight.

“That’s my bleeding name. Don’t wear it out using it so damned much, Slayer.”

* Like you’ve used it at all over the last few bleedin’ nights! *

“Why are you yelling at me, Spike? Why are you following me?” Buffy was trying to walk hurriedly away without appearing too obvious about her intentions.

Spike kept pace with the blonde Slayer.

“You’ve been avoiding me for days now, Slayer. I get your sight back, tear my bleedin’ heart out and hand it to you on a platter, for what? So you can stomp on it some more? We shagged all night and all you have to say is ‘Why am I following you?’. Because you’ve been bloody AVOIDING ME!”

Buffy stopped and leaned back against a headstone attempting to appear unfazed by his outburst. She’d been dreading this conversation, but now it had found her and she knew Spike wouldn’t let it go. Deep inside, Buffy even knew he had a right to be angry with her, but that wasn’t something she wanted to think about either. Buffy SO didn’t need this right now! She knew what she’d planned to tell Spike, but had hoped it could be put off a while longer. Indefinitely had felt like a good length of time.

Sighing slightly, Buffy steeled herself as she tried to soften the blow she knew this would be for Spike.

“Spike. I’ve thought a lot about this since, uh, that night. I can’t do this. I just can’t. I know things changed between us. I know how you feel and I’m sorry. But after what happened with Angel, I just can’t do this again. I can’t open myself up to that hurt.”

“So what was that night to you? Just bloody fun and games!?” He was trembling with anger and pain. Spike wasn’t sure which emotion was strongest, but he knew which was worse… He struggled to suppress the pain that welled up inside of him at Buffy’s rejection. The blonde vampire knew all too well how frightened she must be… He was almost certain that she cared for him in some way, but knew the damage that his grandsire had done to her would hold her back.

“Spike… You know it wasn’t. That night did mean something to me. It meant a lot.”

“Just not enough, that it? What the bloody ’ell d’you think it meant to me? Did you even consider that? You don’t want to be hurt again because of what ‘appened between you and Angel, so do you think I’m enjoying the same feeling?”

“No.” Buffy said very quietly. “No, I don’t think you enjoy being hurt. I also know that I don’t enjoy hurting you. I really didn’t want to hurt you, Spike. I DO care, but I just don’t… won’t love you. I’m sorry, Spike.”

The words felt wrenched from her, tearing something inside as she said them to the blonde vampire standing before her. The same man that had saved her life, been willing to give up his own dreams… the way of life he’d known for more than a hundred years, to restore her sight. She had to admit to herself that she did think of him as a man, regardless of what else he might be… She could see her own pain mirrored plainly in the expression on his face, deep in those piercing blue eyes.

* Don’t think about why it hurts me so much. Don’t look at the pain on his face… Don’t ask why I feel like I’ve betrayed him. *

“Yeah, I can see how sorry you are.” The words were sarcastic; as he hid behind them, flinging them at her, his only weapon against the pain that tightened his chest like iron bands. Spike struggled against his emotions, knowing that unrestrained, they would push Buffy away from him. He grasped at the idea of attempting to force her into a corner, to demand that she take a stand and face the feelings that he saw so crystal clear in her.

His lip curled upwards, “I can see how bad you feel. You could love Angel, but can’t… no, won’t, even consider me. Guess I’m back to being ‘beneath’ you again. Well, that’s it! I’m out of here, Slayer. Just stay away from me ‘cause I’ll do my best to kill you like I should have, chip or no chip!”

Spike turned around, stalking away, his anger and pain evident in every line, every movement, of his lean frame. The tension of keeping himself together while Buffy stood behind him held him coiled spring-tight, ready to explode. Unseen tears of anger, pain, frustration and humiliation, flowed down his face.

Once Spike felt he was far enough away from Buffy that she’d not hear him, he unleashed the torrent of emotions on a few unsuspecting and inoffensive headstones. Pummeling the carved stones into gravel helped him relieve the intolerable frustration somewhat, but it wasn’t enough. Fortunately for Spike, a few vampires came along to investigate the noise he was making. Unfortunately for them, Spike loosed the remainder of his pent-up emotions until they lay scattered like broken rag dolls before he finally staked them.

Feeling moderately better, Spike slammed back into his crypt, flinging himself down into his lone chair, only to be assailed by the sudden memory of he and Buffy in that very spot. The puff of air from the fabric, as he’d dropped his weight into the chair, still held Buffy’s scent; the intoxicating combination of her perfume, toiletries, sweat, and their mingled scents of sex. It was more than the raging vampire could stand, as he sprang out of the chair to smash everything he could find.

The crypt was a wrecked shambles when Spike finally stopped to survey his handy-work, his chest heaving with unnecessary breath…

* Not that it helps much. *

The pain was still there, deep inside of him, squeezing his heart dry, tears threatening to fall again.

* I’ll bloody well show ‘er! Don’t need a soddin thing from her. *

Spike grabbed up his precious duster, traces of Buffy’s blood still lingering on the lining like an elusive perfume, and walked out of the crypt. He stalked across the cemetery with no firm destination in mind but simply kept walking.

‘but I fear

I have nothing to give.

I have so much

to lose here in this lonely place.

Tangled up in our embrace

there’s nothing I'd like better than

to fall.’

~*~

He was sitting at the top of the hill overlooking the city when she found him.

“Oh my, see how the Slayer has turned my Spike all inside out.”

Spike’s looked quickly over his shoulder toward the source of the unexpected, but eternally familiar voice, “ Dru?”

“Miss Edith said I’d find you here. Gran’mama didn’t want to come. She said you’d gone all soft. That you were too angry, too full of sweet Slayer’s blood to be any help to us.”

Spike stood, and taking the few steps needed to bring him within reach of the brunette vampire he’d spent a hundred years with, he grabbed Druscilla in his arms, kissing her savagely, seeking anything to dull the pain in his heart.

But Druscilla broke away from the kiss, leaning back in his arms just far enough to see his face.

The look on her face suddenly reminded Spike of a cat Dru had once owned. The small beast would stare through a window at a bird on the ground outside, curiosity on its furred features. Druscilla would carefully open the glass, giving the cat access to the bird. She’d delight in watching the look of curiosity shift to an almost malevolent, hungry cunning, moments before the cat would pounce, killing the hapless bird. It was the look Druscilla wore now as she watched him.

“Ummmm! Gran’mama was right. You taste like the Slayer. All sweet and sugary. The stars told Miss Edith that your anger would help us. I’m not sure Gran’mama believed Miss Edith, but I see it behind your eyes, like a bit of melted candy swirling inside.”

“Who are you talking about, Dru? In fact, what tha’ bloody hell are you talking about and why are you here. You know if the Slayer finds you, she’ll kill you.”

Spike’s fury and pain were barely contained, and he realized that kissing Dru hadn’t meant anything to him. It had been empty, cold. Buffy was fire and light, so alive…

* Don’t even think about the Slayer. You’re ‘beneath’ her, remember? *

“Hello, Spike. How have you been since Angelus killed me?” Darla’s laugh rippled out from behind him, setting his sense of danger on edge.

“Darla? H-how? Angel staked you years ago! I heard all about it from him, when he was all soulless again.”

“It’s a long story, Spike. Some nice lawyers in LA brought me back as a human, to torture Angelus. It was like before the Master turned me; I was dying. Oh, Angel tried to save me… but he couldn’t. The lawyers broke into the hotel where Angel thought I’d be safe. They brought Dru with them. My sweet granddaughter… she turned me this time.” Darla paused for just a moment, the tip of her finger resting on the edge of her lips as she thought, looking puzzled. “I’m not sure exactly what that makes me now…” She dropped her hand slightly, reaching to tiptoe her fingers up Spike’s arm, her expression assuming the devious mask he remembered. “Well, except that it makes me here again and very, very dangerous.”

She said the last very slowly and seductively as she leaned toward Spike.

Thoughts swirled in his head as Spike tried to think of what to do in the face of the two women. He knew he didn’t dare let them think he might not be in favor of their plan…

* The Slayer! They’ll be after her! *

The instant that thought ripped through his mind, Spike tried to clamp down on it, tried to tell himself otherwise, * Okay. Tha’ Slayer just threw me out, so what the ‘ell do I care what they do to ‘er? *

That was the problem. He did care. He did more than just care. No matter what Buffy had told him, he still loved her. The memory of her touch was as strong as though it had been seconds ago instead of days. He knew that she was lying to herself, as well as to him. He realized he had to stall for everyone’s sake. Stall and find out what this pair was planning.

“Does Angel know?”

“Oh, yes! The lawyers held him and made him watch while Dru drained me, then turned me again. The agony on his face was exquisite!” Darla waved a hand nonchalantly in the air. “Especially after he’d done that whole trial farce and they wouldn’t cure me while I was still human. Such a waste of time… Such a waste that he has a soul.”

Darla’s words instantly reminded Spike of something the odd Valet had said to him when he’d undergone the same Trial. He’d not understood the man’s comment then or even thought too much about it since, but he understood now. Understood all too well. * That’s what the bleedin’ sod meant! Angel went through the trial to cure Darla. They probably couldn’t cure her ‘cause magick had brought her back. Never did understand all the twists in that, but I’ll bet that was the problem. Angel should have thought of it himself…*

Spike knew what had happened just as surely as if he’d been there to see and hear it; he just didn’t understand how he knew. He was also certain that if Angel had undertaken the whole ordeal of the Trial, trying to save Darla…well, the Slayer was certainly going to be in for rather unpleasant surprise, he imagined. Spike knew what it had cost him to restore Buffy’s sight, only to be rejected by her. Angel having done the same for Darla, only to fail to have her cured, then to have to watch as his own childe had drained her life from her and turned her, after the torture Spike knew Angel had endured… The blonde vampire knew the anger Angel was capable of… had been on the receiving end of it more than once. He was glad he wasn’t part of that group of lawyers and just as glad that Angel wasn’t here right now. Two vicious vampires, one of which was insane, was going to be all he felt he could handle at once and try to keep Buffy alive. He’d saved her, restored her sight, loved her and he wasn’t about to let Darla or Dru kill her. He just had to find out what they had planned.

Still stalling for time and information, Spike smiled, put his arm around his insane ex-lover and led her away. “Well, pet, let’s go talk about the possibilities this offers.”

Dru and Darla both laughed as they followed him from the hilltop.

~*~

After her encounter with Spike in the cemetery, Buffy had wandered aimlessly, trying to make sense of what she felt, while at the same time trying not to think about how she felt. She had no idea as to what she should do about Spike. Coming to a stop on the sidewalk, she glanced at her surroundings, only to find that her feet had carried her to the Magick Box. With a sigh, she reached for the doorknob, knowing she had to talk to Giles about Spike before the vampire could say something that her Watcher or her friends might overhear.

Stepping inside the warmth and dim, scented light of the shop, Buffy saw the older man sitting at the table, a cup of tea steaming gently in front of him.

“Hi, Giles.”

Rupert Giles looked up at his Slayer, expecting to see something to indicate that she’d been in a battle, so strong was the undercurrent of pain he heard in her words, but she stood there looking whole and well. He knew there was a problem, even if he couldn’t see the cause. “Buffy, are you alright?”

Buffy simply looked at the man who was so like a father to her. Tears sprang to her eyes, threatening to overflow as she struggled to hold them back. The pain of her own unresolved emotions seemed to fill her, mixed with an unexpected ache from knowing she’d hurt Spike as well. She tried to keep her inner struggle from being obvious in the single word she managed to squeeze past the lump of unshed tears in her throat.

“No.”

Giles quickly rose and was at her side in an instant, his arm around her shoulders as he guided her to a chair. He could feel the slight trembling that ran through her slender frame.

“Buffy, what’s wrong? I don’t see an injury. Has someone been hurt?”

“I can’t do it again, Giles! I can’t go through all that pain again, like I did with Angel! I’ve been avoiding Spike, since… ”

She sounded almost frantic, her voice raspy from the tears she tried to hold back.

“I told Spike that I couldn’t do this. He was angry, Giles, so incredibly angry…

And hurt.”

Finally the tears won, spilling over to fall across her cheeks. They felt hot on her chilled skin, almost scalding.

Giles looked at her, not fully understanding what was upsetting his charge but had his suspicions as he suddenly thought about his own encounter with Spike after Buffy’s sight had been restored. The encounter when he realized that the vampire was in love with Buffy.

He watched her tears fall, unheeded, and Giles knew that Spike had told Buffy that he loved her. Knew it as surely as if the Watcher had been there to hear the conversation. He also knew the tears could mean only one thing…

“Buffy. Do you love him?” Giles asked, but he knew the answer already. Or knew what it would be if his Slayer was honest with herself at all.

“I-I don’t know, Giles. Everything’s different between us now. But no, I can’t. Not after Angel, and Riley. I just can’t!”

Giles looked at the girl he’d been sent to protect as her Watcher. She was so small, so caring, so powerful… but when it was a matter of her own inner feelings; she was also terribly naïve, hiding behind a wall of denial in an attempt to protect herself.

He knew he couldn’t protect her from the demons or the vampires, try as he might… And protecting her from her own feelings was even more a losing battle. Yet… if he could only help her to see what she thought she was hiding inside… perhaps such inner knowledge might be the bulwark of strength that Giles knew he couldn’t give her otherwise. He could only try. Mentally ‘squaring his shoulders’ for the battle he knew this would be, he opened with the first feint.

“Buffy, it’s something you have to decide sooner or later. Either you do or you don’t. If you don’t then there is little danger of your heart being hurt. But if you do, you need to face that. I cannot believe I’m telling you this, but if you love him, Spike deserves to know. I’m aware of the fact that he loves you. He offered his life to restore your sight, didn’t he, Buffy? That was the ‘ultimate sacrifice’ he had to make, that you didn’t wish to talk about. I suspect there is more as well. After all, despite his injuries, Spike is still here, which causes me to wonder if you had to do something as well to save him. Is that how and when he bit you, Buffy? Did you allow Spike to drink from you to save him in return, after his sacrifice?”

Buffy looked up at her Watcher and friend, her eyes tear filled, now wide with shock.

“How do you know, Giles? How could you know?”

The look on her face, the questions she asked, told Giles that his speculations had been accurate. He repressed a sigh and restrained himself from reaching for his glasses.

“I just know, Buffy. I figured most of it out on my own, but your own responses confirmed a great deal of it for me. I must ask you again, Buffy, do you love him?”

“But what if I do, Giles? How can I handle that? How can I do that to all of you? You most of all, Giles. I know what my love for Angel did to everyone, especially you. But if I don’t love Spike, then I’ve used him. I’ve accepted his help over and over, but now I’ve let him give something I can’t ever repay! So if I don’t love him, all I’ve done is use him… How can I hurt him that way, Giles?” Buffy didn’t wait for an answer to her question. In fact, she didn’t expect an answer. Certainly not from Giles, when she couldn’t even answer her own question. She turned away from him, wrapping her arms around herself for comfort, for security, “How can I do something so hurtful to Spike? Or how can I care about him and hurt all of my friends?”

Anya had been listening just inside the doorway at the back of the shop. She’d stepped into the back to put away some new items, but had lingered when Buffy entered the store so obviously upset, knowing the Slayer needed time with Giles. Of course, that it would give the ex-demon a chance to listen in, hadn’t hurt either.

But now she felt she had to speak up, finally understanding more of what had happened. She walked over to Buffy and hesitantly put a hand on the blonde’s shoulder. “Buffy, I know we don’t always see eye to eye. But when I was a demon, I did learn a bit about relationships. If you’re this upset about hurting Spike, you need to understand why. You don’t get this upset if you don’t care about him.” Anya flashed a mute appeal toward Giles as Buffy opened her mouth to protest Anya’s comments, but Giles forestalled the denial with a quick gesture and Anya continued, “Most people think a demon can’t love, but they can. I know I’m trapped in this human body but underneath is still the part of me that was a demon for over a thousand years. And I can love too, I’ve discovered.” A small smile crossed her face as she thought about Xander. “You said Spike loves you. Would it be so horrible if you loved Spike in return? He’s not Angel. At least he’s not going to lose his soul, since he doesn’t have one.”

“Buffy, Anya is right. You wouldn’t be this upset if you didn’t have some feelings for Spike. And fortunately she’s also correct in that there would not be the chance of an ‘Angelus’ incident with him. I know you’re troubled and confused by this; however, you will have to determine the truth of the matter eventually. I think it would be best for all concerned if it were sooner.” Giles knew it was past time to change the subject but felt Buffy’s denial of her feelings was important enough to push the issue slightly. Now he turned and continued briskly, giving her a chance to catch her mental and emotional breath, as it were…

“Right now, we have an additional problem to be concerned about. Do you remember that odd demon that showed up when you and Angel…?”

Buffy interrupted whatever else Giles had been about to tell her. She remembered Whistler all too well from her experiences when Angel lost his soul. Lost it because of her, because she’d loved him and had made love with him. She was still angry at the ill-dressed demon for not helping her save Angel.

“Yes, I know who he is. What did he want this time?”

“It seems that he came by to bring us a warning and to advise me of another prophecy. I’m sure it’s rather important, what with him appearing to personally tell us about it. And I suspect it may be especially important for you, in light of what I now know.”

Buffy felt all her fears about Spike congeal into a heavy, sickening weight in her center. She remembered Whistler’s words to her, as she’d had to face destroying Angel, even though she loved him. Her mind made a leap, connecting the demon’s appearance then with the fact that Spike loved her. Another vampire. And she’d made love with Spike as well. A cold fear filled her as she looked at Giles.

“No! Not again!”

‘but I fear

I have nothing to give

I have so much

to lose here in this lonely place

tangled up in our embrace’

~*~

“So warm inside, so sweet, like melted candy. The Slayer fills you up, Spike. You smell of sweet Slayer’s blood, but she’s not dead. She’s inside of you, and you’re full of her until there’s no room left inside.” Dru rambled on, seeing a great deal more than Spike wanted. He should have remembered that even insane as she was, Dru would ‘see’ the inner him and know how he felt about the Slayer. Druscilla had been with him, his dark princess, for a hundred years and knew him better than almost anyone. But that was before… before he’d had the chip in his head, before he knew that all of Dru’s words to him when she’d left him, were true. Before he knew he was in love with Buffy, before he’d felt the warmth of her against his skin like sunlight… Spike mentally shook himself. It didn’t matter that he loved the chit. She still considered him ‘beneath her’ just because he was a vampire. But the need to protect her was always strong, as much now as the night she’d been ready to die. But to do that, he had to know what these two were planning. He slid his arms around Druscilla, pulling her close…

“So pet, what are you and ducks doing in good ol’ Sunnyhell?”

“We came to get you, Spike. Daddy is not being very nice to Gran’mama, my daughter. We thought you could help us teach him some manners.”

“Dru, shut up!” Darla snarled at her.

“Hey! Don’t be talkin’ to Dru that way!” Spike’s verbal defense of Dru was automatic, the habit of so many years…

Before Spike could move, Darla had him by the throat, demon face to the fore. He’d forgotten how fast she could be…

When Darla rushed him, Druscilla had stepped out of his embrace to stand to one side, watching the smaller blonde vampire with an expression of glee on her face.

Spike slapped Darla’s hands aside, letting his own demonic face show.

“Don’t DO that to me!” he snarled at her.

“Now, why are you two here? Sounds to me like the two of you have already had a run-in with Angel-the-great-pouf.”

“We were only trying to have a bit of fun. Gather up a demon army for a little mayhem and frolic.” Darla frowned as she remembered how ‘her dear boy’ had acted, how he’d treated them, how he’d tried to kill her… again!

“He set us on fire… He’s not Angel any longer, but he’s not Angelus either. I don’t know who he is now.”

Darla sounded worried and more than a bit frightened.

“He set you on fire?”

Spike was surprised. Angel, with his brooding soul, usually went for a quick kill, unlike Angelus who had always taken torture to a painfully dangerous art form.

“Yes, it took us weeks to heal. Dru whined the whole time about how much she hurt! Like I didn’t hurt just as much.” Darla turned away slightly, her voice trailing off as she spoke to herself, “How much I hurt that my Angel could do such a thing to me, after all we’d been to each other…”

“Bloody hell! What’s gotten into the bloke? Or has he gotten into someone again and lost his flippin’ soul?” Angelus being back was one of the few things Spike didn’t want to even consider. His grandsire had a penchant for trying to end the world and Spike enjoyed the world all too much, especially now. He could close his eyes and remember the sweet scent of Buffy’s skin on his, savor the memory of the taste of her blood on his tongue. No, there was still too much that Spike loved in this world and now Buffy was one of those things. Angelus would remember that Angel loved the Slayer and come for her again…

“No, he still has it. But he’s not the Angel I’d learned to hate or the Angelus I’d always been so proud of... We came to get you to join us. Maybe if we can distract him by killing the Slayer, we can figure out a way to make him lose that horrible soul and have our Angelus back.” Darla explained.

* Like I bleedin’ want that! Oh yeah, right up there with a stake in the heart!

After Buffy? Can’t be having that either. Bloody hell, Dru was like a safety net for me. Always thought I could go back to Dru if things ‘tween Buffy and me didn’t work and I got this chip out, but look at her… No, it’s all finished with her. I can’t lie to m’self about that. * Spike continued to stare at the two female vampires while his thoughts ran like quicksilver. * I also can’t let them kill the Slayer either. Even if she doesn’t want me… Love the silly chit… An’ these two are no better than Angelus… never a thought for later down the road a’ ways. They’ll cook up some idea to try and destroy the world and if Buffy’s not here to stop’em, they might accidentally succeed. I gotta do something to stall them, figure out how they’re planning to do all this. *

“So did you have a plan, Darla? Or you and Dru just goin’ ta’ wing it?”

“Oh, yes. We have a plan. We have a rather good plan, if I do say so.”

The laugh was familiar. It was one that would draw the attention of any man in a room with her. The laugh Spike had heard so often years ago, and had learned to dread. A laugh that was simply evil. For some reason, hearing Darla laugh this time, made his skin crawl.

“The stars told us, my Spike. They said that the Slayer would come to rescue you. Isn’t that odd, Spike? A Slayer that would rescue a vampire? Like she did with Angel… But she loved Angel… So Gran’mama said that if the Slayer knows we have you, she’d come to save you. And when she comes… you’ll help us kill her.” Druscilla watched him with a knowing look.

Spike tried to keep his expression neutral. He had no idea what Darla or Dru knew or thought they knew about he and Buffy, but any idea these two dreamed up had to be bad. Spike tried not to fidget as his mind churned, trying to devise a plan to save the Slayer… and himself.

‘Love bites, love bleeds

It's bringin' me to my knees

Love lives, love dies

It's no surprise

~*~

“So do we have any idea yet what this prophecy actually means? Why can’t Whistler just explain it, instead of all the riddles?” Buffy grumbled.

“No, we do not know what it means and no, he cannot simply tell us, as you put it. If the Powers That Be sent him to share this much with us, we know that we’re meant to discern the meaning.” Giles removed his glasses to clean for the dozenth time in the last hour.

“If one side got to give simple instructions, then, of course, the side of evil would have the same right. I, for one, would prefer for them not to have that advantage. Now if we can get back to the task at hand?”

Giles and Buffy had called the entire Scooby gang to the Magick Box in their hurried efforts to solve the bewildering prophecy Whistler had relayed to the Watcher.

~*~

“Okay, this first part, ‘And in the time before the Darkness, the One Who Had Passed Beyond shall return and join with the One Who Reads the Stars’. We know from Angel that there was a ‘time of Darkness’ coming. Of course, meaning hoards of demons running lose and such. So since that hasn’t happened, we must be in the time before it. The One Who Had Passed Beyond…. That might be some vamp that Buffy killed who somehow managed to come back, like Angel did from Hell? The One Who Reads The Stars.. That sure sounds like Drusilla.” Willow was speculating out loud

“Sounds like maybe the two of them get together. We know it’s not Spike, cause he’s not been staked and dusted.”

“Possibly. However, the next part seems somewhat clear. ‘They shall seek the Changed One and the blood of the Chosen One’. Since the Chosen One is Buffy, as the Slayer, they are obviously going to be after her. That would fit in well with part of Whistler’s warning, that someone was coming to town.” Giles suggested to them.

“Yeah… Sounds normal so far. A prophecy, doom and gloom and everybody wants to play ‘get the Slayer’. Any ideas on who this ‘Changed’ one might be? Could they mean Angel, because of his soul?” Buffy asked, resting her chin on her hand.

“I don’t think so, Buffy. The line about the Soul-ed one would seem to be the part that indicates Angel.”

“Then this makes no sense, Giles. Of course, we’ve never seen a prophecy that did make much sense, so why ruin things and start now?

This ‘Changed’ one is suppose to be somebody in love with me so unless there’s something I don’t know, it’d have to be Angel.” Buffy aimed a pointed glare at Giles to forestall any comments he might make about ‘other’ vampires, and continued, “But the line about the Soul-ed one joining with the Chosen one seems to say two different things if it means the Slayer. Maybe it does mean Angel and that someway he gets changed…”

Buffy was more determined than ever after her previous bout of emotional tears, to suppress any tender emotions toward Spike… Even if she had to wear blinders!

“I don’t think so, Buffy. It seems to me like it’s talking about two different people.” Willow looked perplexed and felt as though she was missing some important clue to help her decipher the enigmatic prophecy in front of them.

“Buffy, about the Trial…”

“Giles, I told you. We are SO not going to go there!”

* Even though I want to go there. * The blonde Slayer admitted rather wistfully to herself. * I miss Spike. *

“Alright, Buffy. I just …” Giles fell silent momentarily, seeing the glare Buffy shot at him.

“Right then, moving on, I have to say that I’m worried about this part that indicated you might be turned. Bearing that in mind, even though you have no desire to discuss the matter, Angel is the only vampire with a soul but… Buffy, I’m sorry but it simply must be said. Angel is certainly not the only vampire in love with you.”

“W-What! There is another vampire in love with Buffy?” Xander turned hard eyes to look questioningly at Buffy. “Have you been holding out on us, Buffster?”

Each of Buffy’s friends also turned to look at her, their thoughts running rampant. But the expression on the blonde’s face let them know all too plainly to keep those thoughts to themselves. The kind of mood Buffy’s expression indicated was not a friendly one.

“Giles, I think this part about the ‘She Who Began’ might be the first Slayer. There was the whole thing we did, helping Buffy defeat Adam…” Willow tried to continue analyzing the prophecy in order to get back to the original subject and distract the others away from the prospect of Spike being in love with Buffy.

Watching the slender blonde surreptitiously through her hair, Willow saw the fear and pain etched across her best friend’s face and wondered to herself, * Doesn’t she know just how obvious her emotions are? How much shows on her face of what she’s feeling inside? *

“I believe you may be right, Willow. Perhaps that’s the reason that the Power’s That Be plan to arrange for Buffy to be… ah, turned… at some later date.

We’ve always known that as a Slayer, ah… that her life is always in danger. But if this indicates that she were given back her soul, once turned, she’d still be a force of good fighting against the darkness. However, it does seem to indicate that she’d then be with this ‘Changed’ one thereafter.”

“I really hate it when you guys talk about me like I’m not sitting right here.

But that whole ‘translation’ just tells me that it couldn’t possibly be Spike. So we’ve just solved who it won’t be!”

Buffy smiled rather smugly at her Watcher, pleased with her round-about-logic to convince herself that Spike had nothing to do with this scenario.

Giles simply gave her the ‘look’ she’d learned to know all too well. The one that said he didn’t believe a word of what she’d said and wondered how she possibly could think much less, believe whatever ‘IT’, happened to be.

“Giles, maybe it would be a good idea if I went to L.A. to talk with Angel about this. He might know more about it already… some way. Or maybe Cordelia has had a vision about the whole thing since Angel is obviously involved in this too.” Buffy pushed herself away from the table slightly, preparing to immediately follow word with action.

“Buffy, there is no need for you to make a trip to Los Angeles. I spoke with Angel earlier. He, Wesley and Cordelia will be in sometime tonight. Probably not too much later, in fact.”

“Oh. Wasn’t anyone going to tell me?” Buffy knew she was being confrontational, but couldn’t seem to stop. Panic seemed to fill her, ready to overflow just from the thought of Angel being in town and possibly learning that Spike was in love with her. She knew the irritating blonde vampire all too well to even think that with such an opportunity, he’d not hesitate to make certain that Angel knew Spike loved her and had spent an entire night… well, doing what they had been doing!

“Giles is telling you now, Buffy.” was Xander’s only comment.

“Yeah, right. Okay, I’m gonna go check on Mom and let you guys work on the prophecy. I’m obviously not really translation girl.”

She had to get out of the shop, had to think, had to figure out a way to keep Angel and Spike from talking to each other…

‘One kiss from you and my whole body starts to actin' strange

You shake up all my hormones, you put me through a change

This chemical reaction isn't easy to refine

You drive me to distraction, you disturb my peace of mind’

“Fine. I’ll call you when Angel and the others arrive, Buffy. We’ll need you here then.” Giles called after her as Buffy headed out the door of the shop.

“Giles, Tara and I want to do a meditation fact finding spell on this. I think it will help us figure this prophecy out better. We’ll meet you back here about nine-ish, unless you need us sooner?” Willow asked the older man.

“That might be very helpful, Willow. Thank you. Nine should be fine. However, if Angel arrives sooner, someone will call you and Tara as well.”

Giles looked around as he heard still another chair scrape slightly on the flooring, indicating someone else was probably leaving too.

“I’ll walk with you guys for a bit. I’ve got to get to work anyway.” Xander told the two witches. Tara and Willow waited just inside the door of the shop as Xander kissed Anya goodbye. The three friends headed out the door, leaving Giles and Anya alone in the shop.

Anya wasn’t sure how to bring up the subject, since it had seemed to be an issue of some contention between Buffy and Giles, but curiosity had been gnawing at her since the mystical event had been mentioned.

The ex-vengeance demon felt there was no need to be shy about the subject, so she asked as bluntly as usual

“Giles, did you say that Spike underwent the Trial for Buffy?”

“Yes, do you know something about it? I’ve not gotten either Buffy or Spike to discuss it with me at all. I know very little about what it is or entails”

“ I know a little about it. One of the other vengeance demons had a ‘client’ that wanted to challenge the Trial instead of the vengeance that had been planned for them.

There are three parts of it, each one a bit harder than the previous one. One person is the challenger and they have to overcome the tests for the second person. Usually to get something unobtainable any other way.

I know that anyone who goes through the Trial is changed in some way, even if they don’t finish all three parts of it. Both people are affected. Why did Spike go through the Trial for Buffy? Is that how she got her vision back?”

“Yes, Spike did go through the Trial, Anya. So you think that Spike may be this ‘Changed one’ the prophecy refers to? Or is there another point you’re trying to make with this information?”

“I’m trying to say that if Spike did the Trial to get Buffy’s sight back, then he had to finish the whole Trial. All three parts. Otherwise, Buffy’d still be blind. That would change him as well as Buffy in some way. That would also mean that Spike really is the other vampire in love with Buffy.”

“Yes, well, I guess I certainly let that slip earlier. But… Anya, can you please keep this information to yourself for now? You do have a tendency to, ah… blurt things out at times. We may want to keep the fact that the prophecy is referring to Spike in this particular context quiet for a bit longer.”

“I’ll keep the information to myself. One of the things all demons learn is that the Trial is not normally something to discussed. I wouldn’t have mentioned it if you’d not already known about it.”

“I understand.” Giles took a deep breath in preparation for what he was about to admit out loud. “So, God help us, Spike is in love with Buffy. And Spike is the ‘Changed One’. Does that help us figure out this prophecy?”

Giles took a second deeper breath, not sure if he wanted the answer for his next question, but knew the answer was important.

“Anya, what little information I could find abut the Trial seems to indicate that the challenger has to perform some type of ‘ultimate sacrifice’ before the test is over. Do you have any idea what that is or what it would have been for Spike?”

“I think so. It’s offered in different ways for each person, but they all end up the same. Spike would have had to be willing to give up his life for her. They probably tried to change his mind by offering him something he really wanted in exchange. But if she has her sight, and he’s here, he had to be willing to die for her.

Knowing that...” Anya scrunched her brow as she though for a moment then tried to explain her idea to Giles.

~*~

Drusilla slowly walked around Spike. Each time she tried to put her hands on his head, he moved away from her, afraid of what she might learn.

“What are you doing, pet?”

“Those hidden men put a chain in your mind. You’re not my Spike anymore. Then the nasty Slayer filled you up with herself. The smell of her is like something rotten inside of a beautiful flower. Her mind is all tangled up with yours and yours with hers.” Dru curled her fingers at him, suddenly hissing in disgust at what she ‘sensed’, “You let them kill you so that she could see again!”

The dark-haired vampire turned to look at Darla where the small blonde leaned against a tree, watching as Dru had invaded Spike’s mind.

“Gran’mama, he’s no good to us!”

“Yeah, Dru.” Darla let her sire’s evaluation go by with bare acknowledgement. “Spike has always been a very bad boy.” Darla allowed her thoughts to flash back on some of the more spectacular fights Spike had instigated in the past…

“No, NO! He’s all rotten in the middle. He’s all full of the Slayer.” Drusilla looked back at Spike as a sly expression settled across her features. “She’s been all full of him! Tsk, tsk, tsk. That was naughty of you.”

“Dru!” Darla grabbed the brunette vampire’s arm, interested finally. “Do you mean that Spike has… with the SLAYER!?”

“Yes!”

Darla stared at him; hand on her hip, blunt teeth chewing on her bottom lip, while she thought out loud, “Well, Spike. It seems you would be better ‘bait’ than an ally. If you’re in danger, the Slayer will show up to rescue you as we originally planned. That can still be useful. But it also means we can’t trust you.”

Darla leaned slightly in order to whisper to Drusilla, “I think we’d better...”

The tall, slender, brunette vampire clapped her hands, bouncing ever so slightly as a child might, “Oh, goody! What fun! Miss Edith and I will like that.”

Without any additional warning, both female vampires quickly turned and surprising Spike, the two of them managed to overpower him long enough to retrieve the manacles they’d stored out of sight in a carry-all and securely chain him.

Darla looked at the blonde where he lay on the ground, shackled.

“We’ve gone to a lot of work for this little party. We can’t let you spoil it for us, Spike.” Darla smirked at him.

Spike knew he was in trouble. Both Darla and Druscilla hated Buffy for personal reasons as well as the normal ‘mortal enemy’ reason between vampire and Slayer. That was enough to distract him momentarily. It was the only reason he failed to notice Druscilla’s sudden movement as the thought of warning Buffy flashed through his mind.

Then the world went black around him.

~*~

For once, Buffy arrived back at the Magick Box on time. Tara and Willow had met her at the corner and the three women walked together to the shop. As soon as they opened the door and entered, Buffy suddenly stopped, the two witches barely managing to avoid running into her.

Following Buffy’s gaze, Willow saw Angel, Cordelia, Wesley and a total stranger, chatting with Giles.

“Giles, this is Gunn. He’s an associate of ours and is a good man in a fight.”

Willow and Tara hurried to greet Gunn, along with Cordelia, Wesley and Angel.

The dark-haired vampire was startled as Willow threw her arms around him for a hug.

After greetings and introductions all around, Giles offered seats to everyone while he and Angel chose to remain standing.

The Watcher briefed the newcomers on the complete prophecy Whistler had delivered to them earlier, but didn’t go into detail about what had been deduced or speculated.

Angel sighed slightly before explaining what he knew so far.

“I can explain part of it. Wolfram and Hart, an evil law firm we seem to constantly battle, brought Darla back by magick. But she was human and was dying from the same illness that was killing her before the Master turned her. I tried to find a way to heal her but couldn’t. I’d promised to try and help her, knowing she was going to die again. But the Wolfram and Hart people broke down the door of the room and came in, with Drusilla. They used a tazer on me, and held me down while Druscilla drained Darla, turning her again. They made me watch the entire thing.”

Remembering how upset he’d been, still in pain from his desperate attempt to save Darla… Angel shook his head slightly, trying to clear the memory before he continued.

“So the ‘One Who Had Passed’ has to be Darla, the other one is Druscilla. They are working together as a team. I assume I’m the ‘Souled one’ and we know who the Chosen one is.”

Giles looked at Angel a bit oddly. Something felt off, something the Watcher couldn’t quite put his finger on. Angel seemed different, harder, yet Giles knew the vampire wasn’t his evil unsouled self, Angelus. Giles had all too much reason to be familiar with Angel in that state to be mistaken about his assessment.

Giles motioned to Wesley, asking to speak to him privately for a moment.

“Excuse us, Angel. We’ll be right back. Ah, Watcher business and all, you know.”

Stepping quickly into the backroom, Giles expressed his concerns to the younger man.

“Wesley, what is wrong with Angel. He seems much more… distant? Disconnected, than previously?”

With a slight shake of the head, Wesley attempted to sum up the recent months in a few sentences, explaining the events surrounding Angel’s tumultuous relationship with Darla that had ended with the resurrected blonde being turned once again.

Some of Wesley’s statements struck a disturbing chord in the older Watcher.

If his instincts were correct in their suspicions, Giles could foresee a great deal of trouble that had little to do with the prophecy they were all so worried about. Especially since Giles was fairly certain that Buffy was still loved Angel, no matter what she felt toward Spike...

~*~

Buffy had taken advantage of the short break to maneuver Angel alone for a few moments.

“How have you been, Angel? I’ve – I’ve missed you.” The words held a note of longing… For things that had been, that had never been and even for some things that never would be.

“Sorry, Buffy. I’ve been really busy.” Angel was brusque rather than the softer, gentler tone he used to use with her so often when they’d discussed their relationship.

Buffy recoiled slightly, as if he’d reached out and actually struck her. His response was not what she’d expected and the slender blonde wondered suddenly if there was a problem of which she wasn’t aware. But Buffy was as tenacious as usual. There was a margin of safety in a known relationship, even with all the problems, that simply wasn’t present in a new relationship and its completely unknown problems.

“The prophecy seems to imply that we might have an opportunity to finally be together, Angel.”

The dark-haired, brooding vampire was silent for so long, Buffy started to feel the edge of panic. His words, when they finally did come, turned the embryonic panic into shock.

“I don’t think that would really be such a good idea, Buffy”

Taking an involuntary step away from the vampire she’d loved for so long, Buffy had to know the answer to just one more question. Her words were almost whispered, strained, “Angel, don’t you want us to find a way to be together?”

The brunette vampire remembered a precious 24 hours that Buffy had forgotten, thanks to him and the Powers.

Since then, there had simply been too much in too short a space of time. He’d been human, been with Buffy the way he’d dreamed of, only to lose all of it except the memory. And only he remembered. Then the lawyers bringing Darla back to torment him, his desperate attempts to save her, to salvage that unexpected second chance she’d almost been given, only to see it snatched away from her in front of him. His complete helplessness as he’d watched it happen, his failure to save her even after he’d given everything at the Trial. One of the final humiliations had been seeing Druscilla, the woman he’d driven insane before he’d turned her into a vampire, watch him with knowing eyes as she’d drained the life from Darla then forced her own blood on the near-dead blonde, turning her once more.

Angel looked at Buffy, seeing what had been impossible for him to accept before. He still loved her, but it was time that they both relinquished their stranglehold on dreams and face the reality of their situations. Neither of them might like the admission, but it was necessary.

“Buffy, no matter what we still feel for each other, or what we have had in the past; we need to live our lives in the present. You were the first woman I ever loved in 240 years. I’ll treasure those memories for the rest of my life, but we both have jobs to do to keep the world safe. I just don’t think we can do that and be together.”

Buffy could only stare at Angel. She’d loved him almost since their first meeting, before she’d know who or what he was... She’d gone through hell emotionally and mentally before and after sending him to hell physically. His words left her shocked, numb, as though someone had ripped out a portion of her, leaving only a gapping, bleeding wound. With a sudden flash of insight, she crammed her fist tight against her mouth, stifling the cry that waited behind her lips…

Angel started to reach out to her but stopped himself. He still hated to see her upset. It cut him to the quick, “ I’m sorry, Buffy. I just think it would be best…”

Buffy knew Angel was speaking to her, trying to tell her something else, yet she couldn’t hear him, couldn’t focus on the words he said as her own thoughts burned through her mind like a fiery brand.

* Oh God! This is what I did to Spike! This is what he’d tried to tell me! *

Buffy turned and abruptly ran out of the shop, tears falling down her cheeks, threatening to obscure her vision as she plunged headlong down the street and away from everyone.

~*~

Giles angrily grabbed Angel’s arm, swinging the vampire around to face him.

“My God, Angel! What did you say to her?”

Angel simply shook his head as he quickly repeated the conversation to the angry Watcher.

“I know that you have no idea what she’s been through recently, but even so, that was hardly the thing to tell her so bluntly, Angel. Especially…” Giles wanted to confide in Angel how confused Buffy was, how emotionally spent, but stopped himself in time. “Especially here with all of her friends to possibly overhear.”

Suddenly concerned, as well as dismayed, Angel’s thoughts lurched back momentarily to Darla, her despair at learning she was terminally ill and fear for Buffy filled him.

“What happened to her? Is she alright?”

Giles explained Buffy’s recent blindness and how Spike had undertaken something called ‘The Trial’ to restore her sight. He deliberately neglected his certainty that the blonde vampire was in love with the Slayer as well as his suspicions regarding Angel’s own possible involvement with this same mystical challenge. Giles simply did not realize that Angel would immediately grasp the full significance of Spike’s actions.

However, having so recently attempted the same ordeal, Angel understood all too well both Spike and the implications of the younger vampire’s actions to restore Buffy’s sight.

To say that Angel was unhappy was a bit of understatement.

Angel’s hands clenched into fists held firmly by his side. Anger filled him causing a fine trembling to run the length of his body…

* How dare Spike even think about Buffy like that after I claimed her as mine! How could he endanger her with the Trial, even to restore her sight? But to drink from her afterwards to heal his own wounds… He could have killed her. And for Spike to have a Slayer in his grasp and not kill her… *

Angel knew he had to get out of there. Away from the too fragile humans that he cared for, that Buffy cared about… And he had to find Buffy. Not to mention Spike…

Giles watched the emotions warring across Angel’s face, saw the older vampire stiffen and tremble with anger, remembering all too well what Angel could be like when angry. Thinking to stall Angel for Buffy, and strangely enough, for Spike as well, Giles pressed slightly, still hoping to learn more with his questions.

“Angel, are you alright? Do you know something about this Trial that has upset you?

“Yes!” Angel snarled back, “While Darla was still human, after they brought her back; I tried to help her, save her, give her this second chance and maybe even redeem myself as well. I know exactly what it is and what it would mean for Spike to do this, even to save Buffy’s sight.” The older vampire stepped carefully around Giles, then stalked out the door.

* Oh, dear! * Giles thought as he watched the tight, angry line of Angel’s back as the vampire headed for the door, Buffy and Spike.

~*~

Feeling that they had a few minutes to spare before the need to go find Slayer and vampires was urgent, Giles turned back to the others where they still sat dumbfounded at the table. What he had to tell them would probably be important before going to search for the trio.

“With the new information from Angel, I think now we can decipher the prophecy.”

Giles held his hand up slightly to silence the protests he knew would issue from the mouths that had begun to open.

“We will more than likely need this information reasonably soon. Unless Angel has also learned to teleport…” Giles caught the slight shake of Wesley’s head at the implied question. “Good. Then we have a few minutes before he can locate either Buffy or Spike. Understanding the prophecy should be a helpful weapon.

The basics are simple. Darla was brought back through magick. Drusilla turned her back into a vampire. They have teamed up and are probably somewhere in Sunnydale right now as Whistler’s ‘visiting nasty vampire types’. They will probably try to get Spike to rejoin them. I suspect that Drusilla will figure out rather quickly that Spike is in love with Buffy.” He held his hand up again at the gasps to forestall any interruptions.

“Whether she feels the same is unknown, even by her. But she apparently does feel something for him, cares for him in some way. It is also obvious that her feelings are more than simple obligation, but how she feels about him may not be the major concern for Darla and Druscilla. I suspect they may attempt to kill Spike, or use him as bait to lure Buffy to them so they can try to kill her. Spike is the ‘Changed One’ of the prophecy. Changed by undergoing the Trial.

The remainder of the prophecy states, ‘And the Souled One will join with the Chosen One to fight the coming Darkness, and they shall defeat the Returned One and She Who Reads the Stars.’ That leaves only the Chosen one working with Angel as unknown, however, I don’t think that portion is as important right this moment, so we’ll figure it one out as we go along.”

Giles took a deep breath to steady himself.

“In the meanwhile, I have unknowingly let Angel know that Spike is in love with Buffy. It seems that Angel underwent the same Trial as Spike. Only in Angel’s case, he was attempting to have Darla healed as a sort of redemption for both of them.

As if this was not sufficient, we also have a very distraught Slayer out there. Angel informed her just before she ran out, that they needed to move on with their lives… separately, it seems. This Trial changes the participants in some way and it seems that one of them is to allow those involved with it to see truths in themselves or others.

I suggest we now arm ourselves, just in case, and try to locate Angel, Buffy and Spike. For their own protection.”

~*~

Buffy let her feet carry her where they would, as she ran, only noticing her surroundings when she saw Spike’s crypt a short distance away. She stopped to glance around then sat hard on one of the nearby benches. She needed to think and it would be quiet here.

* Bad, Buffy! When the cemetery is the place you consider quiet enough to think…

But then again, it’s not like the inhabitants are gonna get up and talk to me… Or, at least not many of them. Unless it’s Spike. He’s usually here. But I don’t come here hoping to see Spike! (What if I really do?) No, NO! Do NOT go there; don’t get on that bus at all! BAD Buffy! *

Her thoughts ran round and round like a werewolf chasing its tail. Thoughts about Angel, Spike, what each had said, done flooded her mind. She covered her mouth with her hand as the sob that came out sounded wounded, strangled, a bruised sound from deep down inside of her.

Buffy never even heard Angel behind her until he spoke.

“Buffy.”

Startled, the stake appeared in her hand as if by magick. Realizing that it was Angel behind her, Buffy relaxed slightly, exhaling. Shaking slightly, she eased the stake back into her pocket.

“DON’T DO THAT!”

“I’m sorry, Buffy. I didn’t mean to frighten you but I think we need to talk.”

She looked at Angel warily. “I thought you’d already said all you needed to.”

She saw the pained expression cross his features and relented. Buffy slid over to one side of the bench. “Fine. Have a seat then.”

Angel sat carefully, turned to watch Buffy ‘s face. “Is Spike in love with you?”

“What? That’s what you want to talk about? That’s not something I’m going to discuss with you, Angel. That’s something you’ll have to talk to Spike about. Whether he does or not, it’s not my place to say and quite frankly none of your business.”

Buffy twisted a fallen leaf between her fingers, crumbling it into small bits.

“Besides, I doubt Spike is even speaking to me after what I told him recently.”

“What exactly does that mean?” Angel thought he detected a tinge of regret in her voice.

“It means, Angel, that I was as nasty to him last time we spoke, as you were to me earlier.” Buffy pulled her pain around her like a coat, transforming it into the anger that could shield her…

“I wasn’t trying to be hurtful, Buffy. I was just trying to tell you the truth, even if it’s not something either of us want to hear.” Angel shook his head slightly as he ran his hand across his face.

“I don’t want to fight with you, Buffy. Giles told me what you’d been through lately…”

Frustrated, Angel stood, turning to look at Buffy but seconds later she abruptly sprang to her feet, facing him… a very defensive stance.

“Well, you can save your pity. As you can tell, I’m better!” She let that cloak of anger heat the words for her…

“Yeah, I can see that. Why else would Spike go through the Trial to get your sight back unless he loves you?” Angel wanted to rail at the thought of Spike loving her, daring to touch her, but knew he needed to keep his anger under control. It was obvious that Buffy was not. The air between them was emotionally charged, like lightening waiting to strike… Angel did not want to fight with Buffy but he remembered how quick she could be to lash out with the first blow. Instead, his comment caught her off balance.

“W-what?! What do you know about the Trial? I know Giles couldn’t and didn’t tell you everything about that, cause he doesn’t know. I refused to discuss it with him.”

“I know about the Trial, Buffy. I went through it recently trying to heal Darla while she was still human…” The dark-haired vampire tried to explain, knowing Buffy would definitely NOT like what he was telling her.

“You did THAT for DARLA!” Buffy took an angry step forward, then trembled as she struggled to remain still, her voice rising instead of her fists.

Angel stiffened from her barely controlled threat, voice raised as well.

“Yes, I DID! I was trying to redeem some of the evil I’ve done over the years, even just a small bit of it!”

“Oh…” Buffy was suddenly quiet, feeling a bit embarrassed. “You must have been the other vampire the Valet mentioned.”

“He mentioned me?” Angel looked at her in surprise.

“Not by name, just that there had been another vampire recently but that there was a problem with the results, that they couldn’t grant the request. I assume they couldn’t heal Darla?” Buffy looked down at her hands, unsure how to feel about that information.

“No. But before I could try and find another way to help her, Dru was brought in by that law firm and turned her while they forced me to watch.” Angel had to close his eyes to still the pain the memory caused him.

“Angel, I’m so sorry.” Buffy laid her hand on his arm. She could tell simply from his voice how hard it had been for him to endure.

“I just have to track her down, as well as Dru, and stake both of them.” Angel turned away slightly still not wanting Buffy to see the pain the thought of staking Darla and Druscilla caused him.

“I remember when you staked her before. I’m sorry, Angel.” She slid her hand along the firmness of his shoulder. Buffy knew the shape of the tattoo beneath the cloth there and had to resist the urge to trace it through his shirt. She remembered when he’d killed Darla when the blonde vampire that had sired him, had attempted to kill her. Angel had killed his sire to keep her safe, to prove to her that he really did love her.

Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted as Angel turned suddenly, grasping her hand in his, “Why did you let Spike drink from you?”

Buffy glanced up into the face of the man she had loved for years, probably would always love in some way, and knew that she didn’t want him to see whatever it was that she felt for Spike. She quickly looked down to where he held her hand. It was safer.

“He was dying, Angel. He was obviously in pain even though I couldn’t see him yet. I could smell the blood… his blood He endured all that to get my sight back and then he was dying.”

“So you love him.” Angel made it a statement instead of a question.

“I… I felt obligated. I didn’t even know… then… everything he’d done. I – I…

found out later.” Buffy looked down at the ground, wanting to be anywhere except having to tell Angel what she had done, knowing he’d understand probably more than she’d even admitted to herself.

“I found out… when… I went back and demanded answers.”

Angel sat for a moment, considering the import of her actions before he carefully reached over and brushed her hair back to look at the bite mark. Angel saw that Spike’s bite had completely covered the mark he’d left the night Buffy had made him drink her blood to save his life. He’d done the best he could at the time and had placed a deliberate marking bite as he drank her blood to neutralize the poison in his system. The bite pattern he’d used was the one that announced to other vampires that Buffy was his. The mark that Spike had ignored. Angel’s hands closed into fists and as his demon visage morphed into place, he turned away from her.

“Angel? What’s wrong?” Buffy grasped at his arm, trying to turn him back to face her.

Angel spun back around to face Buffy, “I CLAIMED you with that bite! It meant you were MINE! He’s wiped it out!”

“Claimed me? Wiped it out? I don’t understand.”

Angel was trying very hard to pull his human face back into place and keep his voice under control as well as his demon. “No other vampire would have tried to Turn you with my mark on your neck. They’d know you belonged to me. I tried to PROTECT you!” His last words came out in a growl.

Buffy’s voice dropped slightly, becoming very low and quiet, “Claimed me… as yours, Angel? Claimed… as in property? And you didn’t even tell ME!” Her voice had gotten louder while she spoke, anger rising with each word.

“Yes! That exactly what it means to another vampire. But I was trying to protect you. Now, Spike has obscured my mark with his, saying you’re his!”

The argument, that had almost been forgotten previously, was back on, full force. Buffy and Angel yelled at each other; accusations flew about who did what to whom and without telling whom… among the other insults flung.

“HEY!”

Angel and Buffy quieted abruptly, turning to see their friends standing there. Cordy had been the one brave enough to interrupt.

“Well, you two were certainly easy to find. We just listened for the screaming.” Cordelia told them. “Loud much? I’m surprised every demon and vampire in the area hasn’t found you, with all the noise you’ve been making.”

“Actually… just the two that needed to find them.” Darla giggled as she and Drusilla walked out of the brush, a chained, gagged and shackled Spike in tow.

~*~

Dru walked around the captive Spike, trailing her fingers over him. “My Spike has been very, very bad. He’s all full of the Slayer and lies.”

The tall, slender brunette vampire kissed Spike suddenly. “He still tastes of ashes.”

She turned away, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

Spike noticed the movement and wished he could do the same… wipe the taste of Druscilla from his mouth, especially as Buffy had watched Druscilla kiss him. Knowing Dru, part of the kiss had been strictly for Buffy’s benefit. It all made Spike feel a twinge of embarrassment that Dru had once meant so much to him. However, all he could do, shackled as he was, was focus on Buffy’s face and hope for a reaction. He might not see the response he hoped for from the tiny blonde, but at least any reaction would mean she wasn’t completely indifferent to him.

Buffy saw Druscilla kiss Spike and anger flared instantly through her.

* How DARE she kiss him! Oh, my God! What did I just think! Bad, bad, Buffy. In-trouble-Buffy! *

“But he also tastes like the Slayer. Miss Edith said she’d taste like him now too. They’ve been bad together.” Drusilla glanced slyly, first at Spike, then Buffy and Angel.

“Does Daddy know if Buffy tastes like Spike?”

Angel was trying desperately to keep control of himself, keep his demon from coming out again, and keep from beating Spike to a pulp. And trying not to even think about kissing Buffy just to discover if Dru was telling the truth. Deep inside, Angel knew she was. Crazy, Druscilla might be, but she knew what she ‘saw’.

“Hello, Lover. I’ll trade you your Grandchilde for the Slayer.” Darla purred at Angel. “Although…” Darla put just the tip of her finger to her mouth. “Right now though, you look like you don’t want either one of them. So maybe I’ll just kill him for you.”

Angel gave into the urging of his demon, allowing his face to shift as he leapt for Darla and Dru. Buffy charged the two female vampires at the same time. Cordy, Wesley and Gunn pulled stakes out of their pockets while Willow and Tara started an incantation. Giles quickly gave hushed instructions to Anya and Xander.

Spike was shoved to the ground as the battle ensued. Angel and Buffy fought with Darla and Dru, each holding their ground against the two female vampires. Slowly the tide of battle started to turn, between the spell Willow, Tara and Giles set into motion; the rising of the first Slayer’s essences in Buffy and Angel’s greater strength.

Giles had instructed Xander and Anya to work their way around behind the fight in an effort to pull Spike to safety.

The blonde vampire had lain on the ground, helpless, watching the fight inches from him. The fact that he could be in serious danger was not an issue Spike could even try to consider… not with Buffy almost within touching distance but fighting side-by-side with Angel instead.

* Of course, she’s here with Angel. Like she’s gonna even bloody think of me at all, with the great pouf here. I should have just let them stake me and gotten it bloody over with! *

In a sudden unexpected movement, Darla shoved Druscilla into Buffy, knocking the Slayer off balance. Angel glanced toward the woman he loved for a fraction of a second; assuring himself that Buffy was all right. It was all the time Darla needed. She grabbed Dru’s hand, then turned and ran, pulling Druscilla with her as they disappeared into the shadows.

Fight over for the moment, Angel looked for Spike. Xander and Anya had already unchained him where he sat on the ground. Angel could only watch as Buffy turned to the blonde vampire, flinging herself down on her knees, making sure Spike was unharmed.

Spike ignored the fact that his grandsire stood over him. His hand came up, grabbing Buffy by the back of the neck, pulling her down to kiss her thoroughly. He didn’t even think about Angel in that second. His only concern was that Buffy was safe once more and his own need to somehow have her closer to him again.

At the moment Spike’s lips covered her own, Buffy felt a sudden, fleeting twist of the world around her. Instinctively, she understood that something in the prophecy they had struggled with had just fallen into place. When Spike released her from the kiss, Buffy pulled back to stare at him in shock.

“Oh God! It’s YOU!” Buffy tried to back up, still on her knees.

“Of course it’s me! Who the ’ell were you expecting!?” Spike was puzzled and unsure if he should be angry or not, at Buffy’s odd reaction to their kiss.

‘ Are you feelin’ me

cause I’m feelin’ you

something in my heart

tells me you’re the one ‘

~*~

Seeing Spike kiss Buffy in front of him was more than Angel could endure. The recent events of the last few weeks had kept the vampire on edge. The last few hours, including the argument with Buffy, the fight with Darla and Druscilla, Spike kissing Buffy only inches away from him, was the final straw for the older vampire. Angel advanced on Spike, in full game face, growling. As Angel reached down, pulling Spike up and hitting him in the face, Spike shifted into game face as well.

You could almost smell testosterone waft through the air as the two, men and demons both, fought over one small golden Slayer.

Their fight lasted only moments before that same small Slayer joined the fray.

“Stop! Both of you, STOP THIS!!” Buffy launched a kick at Angel while she connected a hard punch with Spike’s jaw, trying to push them apart. Without thinking, Angel swung back at Buffy. She ducked under the attempted blow, dancing back a few steps.

“Sorry, Lover. Beat you before, I can beat you again. Don’t make me have to do this!”

Spike aimed another kick at Angel for attacking Buffy. She tried to shove him back out of the way, in case Angel followed up on his initial swing at her.

“STOP THIS!!” The shouted words rang with Power.

Vampires and Slayer stopped abruptly. They turned as one to see Whistler standing in front of them.

The oddly dressed demon looked at the equally surprised set of friends on the sidelines. “Why don’t you guys go back to the magick shop? I’ll handle this and they’ll come talk to you in a bit.”

Without waiting to see if his instructions were followed, the demon turned back to Angel, Spike and Buffy

“Okay. Enough of this from all of you. SIT DOWN!”

Vampires and Slayer sat on the bench a few feet away, looking like guilty children. During the fight, they’d not managed gone far from the bench where Buffy had sought a moment of quiet respite earlier.

“Angel, let’s start with you. Wanna tell me why you are fighting with the woman you love and are suppose to protect?”

Angel turned and glared at Spike before he answered Whistler.

“He’s in love with Buffy. He kissed her.”

“Jealous much? You didn’t want me.” Buffy sniped at the dark haired vampire.

“Buffy….” Angel groaned.

Spike tried unsuccessfully to hide the smirk that curled his mouth. * So the Slayer got what she gave out. Kinda fair almost, her getting dumped like she did to me… * Somehow, the thought didn’t bring him any real comfort.

“I’m talking here! I’ll conduct this conversation.” Whistler interrupted them again.

“So you’re fighting with the Slayer ‘cause you’re angry with your Grandchilde? Like the Slayer said, Angel, ‘Jealous much?’ You can’t be with her ‘cause of the curse, but you’d keep her from being with him? What if he’s the one the prophecy says she’s suppose to be with?”

The demon looked from one to the other, watching amazement, embarrassment, realization and a host of other emotions cross the faces in front of him.

“No. You wouldn’t do that. Would you?” Angel asked. He knew he sounded unsure even to himself.

“Things change, Angel. And for right now, the PTB’s have decided a different arrangement is best. They have a plan with the prophecy and if things change… well, they just have to rearrange events to fit that plan. You had your chance and made the decision to keep her alive with your choice. You know how hard it is for you to control yourself around her. Look at what you just did.”

Angel looked as though someone had kicked him in the pit of the stomach. He turned that look on Buffy, his eyes beseeching her. “Buffy… I…”

“You know she doesn’t remember, Angel.”

“Angel, Whistler, what don’t I remember?” Buffy asked quietly, feeling sure that if she found out, her heart was likely to break, but knowing she had to hear the truth.

“Well, Angel?” the demon asked the older vampire.

Angel hung his head, his unbeating heart breaking all over again. “Tell her.”

Whistler concisely explained to them what happened the day that only Angel remembered. The Mora demon, Angel becoming human and the bare twenty-four hours he and Buffy had shared until Angel gave up his newfound humanity in order to try and extend Buffy’s life. Buffy was sobbing as though she’d cry out bits of her heart when Whistler finished the tale. Spike felt as though his own heart would shatter from the pain he knew that Buffy and Angel felt. The younger vampire glanced at his grandsire, trying to let Angel know with that one look, that he understood. Spike knew that if it had been him, he’d have done the same.

* Hell, I did do it in that bloody trial. I was willing to die for her. *

“Spike, why were you fighting with your grandsire?” Whistler asked him.

Spike had already gotten the hint that Whistler knew what there was to know and wasn’t shy about telling it to the others.

“I was just defendin’ m’self until he started fighting with Buffy.” Spike paused for a moment knowing Angel was going to hear his admission. “And I love her.”

“So that’s why you were willing to give up your life in the Trial for her sight?” Whistler asked, knowing the answer already, but needing Buffy and Angel to hear it as well.

“Yeah. No bloody use in me staying around if she was gonna go out and die. I’m good, but I can’t watch her 24 hours a day. If she was determined to kill herself, she’d find a way, she would.”

“So. Angel, you gave up the chance to be human and be with her in order to keep her alive. Spike, you were willing to give your life to keep her alive. I’d say both you boys love her. That about it?”

Angel and Spike both nodded silently, almost ashamed to have their sacrifices pointed out so bluntly. “Hey, neither of you have rocks in your heads, although it sure seems that way. I can’t hear them rattle!”

“Yes, I love her that much. Enough to give up being human to keep her alive and have her forget even the one day we had.” Angel told Whistler, his voice roughened with tears and loss.

“I knew she’d die to protect the world by calling a new Slayer ‘cause she couldn’t see to protect people. I’d rather die than have her gone, even though I know she’ll never love me.” Spike tried to sound nonchalant as possible, not wanting the hurt he felt, admitting Buffy refused to love him.

“Spike? Is that why you begged me to stake you?” Buffy interrupted, looking directly at Spike, green eyes meeting blue.

“Yeah. I know you don’t care a bleedin’ bit for me, that you love HIM.” Spike jerked his head in the direction of his grandsire.

Buffy simply stared at the blonde vampire that had endured so much to restore her sight. Her face was a study in bewilderment.

“Slayer, it’s your turn to confess. Want to just do it or will I have to drag it out of you like these two?” Whistler asked her, with a gleam in his eye.

“I- I…” Buffy saw the determination in Whistler’s face and knew he’d force her deepest feelings from her just as he’d done with Angel and Spike. She wanted to avoid that if possible, so gathered her courage around her. She turned first to look at the vampire she’d given her heart to years ago.

“I love you, Angel. I’ll always love you. I had no idea what you’d given up, what it cost you. I’m so sorry.” Then Buffy slowly turned to face the blonde vampire that insisted on being a part of her life regardless of what she said or did.

“Spike, Iloveyoutooevenifidon’tknowwhy.”

Whistler just looked at Buffy, shaking his head slowly, a grin creasing his plain face.

“Buffy, I can see we’re gonna do this the hard way. Why did you let Spike drink you? Why? Knowing that as weak as you were, that it might kill you? Look down deep into your heart and tell me the real reason why.”

Buffy sat with tears running down her face. “He’d suffered so much to give me back my sight. I couldn’t let him die.”

“The rest of it, Buffy. It’s time to admit it to him as well as yourself.” The smile had vanished. Whistler had a very stern, demanding look on his face. She knew there was no way out of this one.

“B-because I- I love Spike too.”

Spike looked at Buffy, shock evident in every line of his face. “Slayer? Buffy…” He reached out his hand toward her.

“Spike…” She touched the tips of his fingers with her own before sliding her fingers between his.

Angel watched with pain-filled face. Ever word between them hurt him, every look, every touch they shared, filled him with agony, but he could no more not look than one can turn away from a car wreck. “Spike, why did you mark out my claim?”

“You’d given her up for all I knew. She needed someone with her. She needed protection. Mine.” Spike’s reply was plain and simple. He’d seen her need. He’d had the opportunity to try and solve it, so he’d taken the option. He didn’t feel that he needed to mention that his actions had also allowed him to be closer to her than he’d ever imagined possible.

“Guys… Did either of you ever consider explaining to the Slayer that you’d claimed her? Or what it meant?”

Whistler looked from one to the other.

“Thought not.”

“Whistler, what is this claim they are so upset about?” Buffy asked the demon.

“Rather than a simple bite mark like Dracula left, that big bite is one that will let any other vampire know that you have been claimed as a master’s property. It’s supposed to keep another vampire from turning you. Very few of them will ignore it. They might kill you, but they wouldn’t turn you. And it means the vampire that marked you cared enough to want you. They are saying they will protect you regardless of what happens. Or if another vampire chooses to ignore the mark, they will hunt them down and kill them really slow… like with a spoon.” Whistler grinned again as he glanced at Angel, then Spike before turning back to Buffy once more.

“So just like each of them was willing to give up the thing most dear to them, willing to give their life… Buffy, you risked your life to save each of them. You took the chance of letting them kill you, trusting them not to, in order to share your blood with them and keep them alive. I’d call that love…”

“Oh…” Buffy didn’t know what to say. She’d done exactly what Whistler said. She just hadn’t realized until he pointed it out that, she’d been willing to die for each of them and what that meant to her. Then there was the bite they’d both marked her with… Both of them had claimed her, wanted her, were willing to protect her, even loved her.

Buffy looked back at the ill-dressed little demon, seeing the world a bit differently…

“So, this prophecy… What does it really mean, Whistler?” Buffy asked him.

The demon grinned at her. “You figured out when Spike kissed you that he was the one you were gonna be with, right?”

“Yeah. It was kinda like something went ‘click’ in my head or the world twisted for a second.”

“That happens sometimes when a prophecy takes effect.” Whistler explained quite smugly as he tried to shrug it off nonchalantly.

“But how will Angel also be with the ‘Chosen’ one?” Buffy was still puzzled about that part.

“Well, let’s see. We’ve got two ‘specially hand picked vampires. We’ve got two Chosen ones. Works for me.”

“You mean Faith!?” Buffy wasn’t sure if she was more upset or angry, but as she thought for a moment, she could understand clearly how Angel felt about her with Spike. Buffy took a deep breath, trying to let her leftover jealousy dissipate.

“Yep, Soul boy here gets Faith. He’s the only one she trusts right now anyway. So that’s a match.” Whistler was enjoying being able to explain things to these three tangled people.

“You changed things when you and your friends called up the essence of the first Slayer and joined it with yours. Angel changed things when he gave back his humanity. Eventually you’ll be killed, Slayer. Fact of life for you. But the essence of the first Slayer… that makes you stronger than you were before, and let me tell ya, you’re the best Slayer that’s been. Even if you do have this thing for vampires…” The demon flashed a wide grin before looking at the dark, brooding vampire.

“Angel is unique, ‘cause he has a soul. Blondie here is unique in other ways. Spike was changed by his experience with the trial. He can love without a soul. So Spike will be with you when your time comes. It’s his job to turn you, keep you under control and get your witch friend or him and Angel, to restore your soul afterwards. You’ll keep slaying. You’ll just be with Spike for the rest of your days. But before you get all maudlin’, Angel, just remember she’ll still be here.”

Whistler looked at the three of them. “ Now, kiss and make up guys. You got work to do and your friends are waiting for you. I got a Slayer to arrange an early release for.”

As they watched, Whistler just popped out.

“ ‘People come and go so strangely here.’” Buffy murmured

Angel, Spike and Buffy looked at each other, feeling awkward. Angel finally got up and took Buffy’s hand. Buffy reached for Spike’s hand, glaring slightly at Angel. The dark-haired vampire got the message loud and clear. He reached for Spike’s remaining hand, feeling extremely awkward and embarrassed. But by the looks of things, no more so than Spike was feeling right at that moment. Feeling he could handle the situation if it didn’t get any worse, Angel was abruptly dissuaded of that idea as Buffy forcefully pulled both vampires toward her. Angel and Spike found themselves, quite suddenly and very embarrassingly, in a three-way hug.

~*~

Spike, Angel and Buffy walked back into the magick shop. All conversation stopped as they entered the store, breaths held as everyone waited to find out what Whistler told the three of them.

Both vampires and Slayer told the group what the weird little demon had relayed to them. For the next hour or so, little knots of discussion formed and reformed as facets of the situation were discussed, argued and reduced to so much hamburger.

Angel got the attention of his small group. “It’s too late to drive back to L.A. tonight, so if we can all find someplace to stay over, I think we should go back tomorrow night as soon as the sun sets. Seems we’ve all got some arrangements to take care of as soon as possible.”

“Would that be about the ditzy-duo?” Cordelia asks sharply.

“Well, them and Faith. Wesley, are you okay training with her or supervising her training while I act as her sparring partner?” Angel asked the ex-watcher seriously, knowing there was no love lost between Wesley and Faith.

“Since she is imperative to the prophecy, it seems that I must.”

“Good man. I knew I could count on you.” Angel clapped him on the back.

“Spike, I’ll expect you for training with Buffy every evening as well.” Giles informed the blonde vampire then turned away before he had to comment on the vampire’s shocked and indignant expression.

With that, the Scoobies went back to their respective homes. Cordelia was invited to stay the night with Willow and Tara. Gunn went with Xander and Anya, while Wesley and Angel followed Giles. Buffy decided that if this was what was to be, she’d best start getting used to it and bullied Spike into going home with her.

~*~

In The Summers’ kitchen, Spike and Buffy sat, having hot chocolate, and talking quietly to avoid waking her mother or Dawn.

“Are you alright with this, luv?” Spike was concerned that Buffy would feel pressured into their arrangement and would resent him for it.

“Does it matter? A prophecy is going to do what it wants, regardless of what we say.”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean with us. You and me?” Spike would have held his breath, had he actually needed to breathe, in anticipation of her answer.

Buffy ducked her head down, a bit embarrassed about the conversation.

“Spike, I realize I do love you. But this is really hard for me. I’m afraid of being hurt again. So can we kinda take it slow?”

“Yeah luv, we can do that. I understand. We know now that we have time to work this out, if it comes to that. Besides, how do you think I felt knowing that I was in love with the bleedin’ Slayer?” He chuckled as he remembered the nightmare that had awoken him quite some time back.

“What’s so bad about that?” Buffy managed to look indignant while she struggled not to laugh at the chagrin in his words.

“Like you’ve said so many times. You Slayer, me vampire. You’ll stake me, blah, blah, woof, woof.”

“Guess I better not, huh? Not if I want you to be there when I need you to turn me. Wow, know how creepy that sounds?”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t still fight, Slayer. I enjoy our fights.”

Spike looked at her with the side-ways smirky grin that had always melted her into her socks. Now she could finally admit it.

Buffy grinned at her used-to-be-mortal-enemy, “Yeah, me too Spike.

Ah, Spike. You need to move out of the crypt. How about the basement here?”

“Why’d I need to bleedin’ move?” Spike was slightly indignant. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to move in with Buffy, but somehow he felt that her ‘suggestion’ was close to being an order.

“Well, for one thing, you tore the place all to hell. And second, it will make it easier for us to protect each other.” Buffy tried to practice patience as she explained. She thought the reason should be perfectly clear to Spike. Besides, didn’t he WANT to be close to her?

He reached over and brushed her lips with his, taking her hand. “Nobody has ever been able to irritate me as bad as you do, luv. Besides, how’d you know I’d trashed the place?”

Buffy, ducked her head again. She sounded very sheepish and quiet. “I went looking for you to be sure you were okay.” She then took a different tact, abruptly changing the subject, “You know, except for when he was Angelus, that’s the first really major fight Angel and I have ever had. Of course, it had to be about you.” Buffy grinned at Spike’s shocked expression.

“Angelus is the toughest vamp I’ve ever seen. Angel fights just as hard, just as mean and just as strong. I was worried he’d hurt you.”

“I was serious. I’ve beaten him before. You should know that. But it was hard. I didn’t think I was going to be able to, but I did. He said the wrong thing and that was all I needed.” Buffy remembered the incident only briefly before she clamped down hard on those memories. They were still rather painful.

“What’d he say, Luv?” Spike asked the question gently, knowing some of the old wounds associated with that event.

“It was at the mansion. You’d left with Druscilla. He’d knocked my sword out of my hand and said I had nothing left. Told him I did. Me.”

“Ow, Bloody hell! I can see where that would do it. I’ve fought you enough to know better than to tell you something like that. Sure way to get my arse kicked.”

Spike remembered the moment well, but thought keeping quiet would be best. He’d left right before Angelus had thrown that challenge in her face, because challenge it had been, even if Angelus hadn’t known it.

Buffy giggled at him. “Well, you know you’d never win.”

“Wait a bleedin’ minute, you little chit! I can too beat you.”

In seconds they were scuffling in play for the first time. Spike used one of Buffy’s own moves to trip her and fell with her, pinning her to the floor, one of her hands in each of his. He pinned her with the full length of his body and was found himself aroused very quickly.

“Spike. No, not here in the middle of my mother’s kitchen floor!” She hissed at the blonde vampire. She could feel his hardness pressing into her. He wiggled his hips slightly to emphasize the situation

“Luv, it’s been a while since you’ve let me near you. What’d you expect?”

“Spike, let me up. I’ll go get you some blankets for the bed downstairs.”

“Don’t want the bed downstairs… want you.” He captured her lips in a searing kiss, the scent of her rolling over him. He could feel her pulse on the back of his tongue like a fine wine. His tongue stroked the inside of her mouth until she was breathless and shaking. He raised his head, piercing blue eyes looking into her eyes. “ I love you, Buffy.”

She watched the emotions across his face, seeing need and love, fear and something she couldn’t put a finger on.

“I love you too, Spike. It’s new and scary to say but let me grow into it, please?”

“I can wait, now that I know that you do love me. I never thought I had a chance with you.”

“You know I never blocked you from the house. I went to you for help all the time. And I have to admit, Anya was right. To fight with you as badly as we do, there had to be something there to fuel it. It wasn’t hate, Spike. That’s part of what scared me so much.”

“You brought me your Mom and sister to protect. D’you remember what you told me?”

“Yeah, that you were the only one strong enough to protect them. I meant it, Spike.”

He released one of her hands at the same time he twined his fingers with her other hand. She snaked her arm around his neck, running her fingers thru the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Keep that up, luv, and your mum may get a big surprise if she were to come down here.” He murmured against her lips, intent on kissing her breathless…

“Ah, hmmmm!”

Buffy looked back over her head almost catching Spike in the jaw with her chin, but Spike’s head had shot up, surprise written all over his face. He’s been so completely distracted that he’d never heard anyone approach them. But standing in the kitchen doorway was Joyce.

“Spike, let me up.” Buffy whispered trying to push him off.

“Ah Mom, I’d say this wasn’t what it looks like, but… What does it look like?”

“It looks like Spike has my daughter pinned on the kitchen floor in a very intimate position while they talk.”

“She’s got ya, luv. That’s what it is, alright.” Spike struggled to his feet, assisting Buffy, but refused to release her hand.

“Would one of you like to explain this to me, please.” It was obvious to Buffy and Spike both that Joyce’s tone of voice didn’t mean that her question was a request for information, but was actually an order.

“Spike can, while I run get him some blankets.” Buffy quickly scampered off up the stairs.

Spike gave Joyce an abbreviated version of the night’s events. She’d already discovered that he’d been responsible for bringing her daughter’s sight back.

“Spike, do you love Buffy?”

“Yeah, Joyce, I do. With every fiber of my being.” He was suddenly assaulted by a wave of shyness and looked down at the floor. Only with extreme effort did the one hundred and twenty year old vampire stop himself from twisting his hands or pockets or whatever was handy to distract himself from the acute feeling.

“I know what I am… and the things I’ve done…” He looked up suddenly, eager to reassure Buffy’s mother, “But those things are in the past! I’d never do anything to hurt Buffy and… well, that kind of thing… She’d be upset.” The floor tiles took on renewed interest for him as he checked them again… “I’ll do everything I can to protect her and make her happy, Joyce.”

“You got her sight back for her, didn’t you? I don’t know how you did it, Spike, and I’m not really sure that I care…” Joyce felt a bit of surprise at her own comment, but she knew it was true. Hesitantly she reached out, laying a hand on Spike’s arm, “I want you to know how much that means to me… What you did for her…

Does she love you?” Joyce asked the vampire; not realizing Buffy was back at the kitchen doorway. Buffy knew she’d left Spike to handle the first explanation alone and felt she’d better answer this one herself.

“Uh, Mom… Yeah, I do. I’d kept it deep inside but it’s working its way out. I finally realized tonight how I felt, when I saw Spike in danger.”

Buffy walked over to Spike and snuggled into the curve of the arm he reached around her.

“You don’t have a soul to lose, do you Spike?” Joyce watched, as Buffy was more affectionate with Spike than she’d ever seen her daughter be with any of her boyfriends.

“No, Joyce I don’t.” Spike sounded almost ashamed that he didn’t.

“Okay. I just don’t want to go through THAT again. And no sex on the kitchen floor!”

With that comment Joyce headed back up the stairs to bed. Buffy shot Spike a-I-told-you-so-look. Spike’s vampire enhanced hearing caught the slight chuckle as Joyce rounded the landing of the stairs and he glanced that direction for only a moment before looking back at Buffy. “Your mom just laughed!”

‘Right now, that doesn’t surprise me at all. My mother would never leave me alone with you after the eye-full we gave her earlier if she had a problem with us being together. In fact, I don’t think she’s EVER left me alone with a guy while she went more than a room away.” Buffy struggled with the implications of her mother’s actions.

“Does that mean she’s alright with us being… an us?” Spike wasn’t sure quite what to think.

Buffy laughed slightly, causing Spike to think how much she sounded like her mum at times. “It means she likes you, Spike. I have no idea why, but she does. Now let’s go get you settled downstairs.” Buffy picked up the pile of pillows and blankets and headed for the basement door, completely ignoring the indignation that warred with surprise on the vampire’s face.

~*~

After a good deal of fussing with covers and playing that quickly turned into much, much more, Buffy finally pulled Spike’s tee shirt over her head before she curled up in the curve of his body, falling into a sound sleep next to him in the basement. That’s where Joyce found them the next morning.

Buffy looked so comfortable and content with Spike curled around her that even though Joyce wasn’t happy about them sleeping together, she let them stay where they were. She suspected they had already been doing much more than sleeping, but some things a mother just didn’t want to know about her daughter, especially when a vampire was involved. At least it hadn’t been in the middle of the kitchen floor!

This would take getting used to.

~*~

After sunset everyone met back at the magick shop again to say their goodbyes.

Wesley and Giles had been up half the night discussing Faith, as well as Angel and the two female vampires.

Buffy and Spike finally arrived as well, hand in hand.

Angel motioned Spike over to speak privately. “I can’t say I like this at all, Spike. But it seems that we don’t have a lot of choice in the matter. You better take care of her or I’ll personally stake you and I won’t make it easy at all.”

“You might be my Grandsire, but don’t be bleedin’ threatening me about the Slayer. I love the irritating little chit. Of course I’ll protect her! You watch yourself with that other Slayer.”

~*~

Parting goodbyes were much in evidence between both groups. Much to his surprise and Anya’s annoyance, Cordelia even hugged Xander.

And amid all the conversation, Angel finally managed to speak privately with Giles for a moment.

“If Buffy ever needs me for anything or if Spike doesn’t watch out for her; I’m depending on you to call me, Giles.”

“I will Angel, but I suspect that as devoted to Drusilla as Spike was for 100 years, Buffy will be quite well protected… Provided she doesn’t kill him first.

You, on the other hand, should be careful of Faith. She’s unpredictable and we know she’s a killer.”

“All Slayers are killers, Giles.” Angel chuckled at the Watcher’s expression.

“I know what you mean though. I think since I do have her trust, we’ll manage to work things out between us.”

~*~

Back in L.A., Angel went to visit Faith at the security facility. She actually seemed glad to see him. Why not, he was the only one who ever came to see her.

“Hey, Soul Dude. What’s kicking?’

“Hi, Faith. Seems Whistler came to visit. Brought a prophecy to drop on us. You’re part of it.”

“Uh, oh! Whistler… demon-y kinda dude, really bad dresser? ‘B’ mentioned him to me once. Not sure I like the sound of him showing up. So tell me about it.”

Angel explained the prophecy and its implications to her in detail. He told her about Darla and his own obsession with his former sire. He explained about their old adversaries, Wolfram and Hart, the Trial, Dru. Angel wasn’t happy talking about the situation with Buffy and Spike, but he knew he had to tell Faith about that as well and he did so. Then finally he told her about her part, working with him and what it could entail.

“Okay. So I do this provided you get me out, what then? What if I get killed? Do I get Turned too?”

“I don’t know Faith. I’ll have to try and find Whistler to see what the PTB’s have said about that. But will you work with me? Will you let Wesley help with your training?”

“Sure, why not? Beats sitting in here.”

“Faith, it will be dangerous for you. I know you’re here because of… well, I know why. But at least you’re about as safe as a Slayer can ever be while you’re here. Once you’re back on the street… slaying… that all changes.” Angel wanted to be sure that Faith knew what might be waiting for her once she was out of jail. He knew that prison was not where she wanted to be, but he also knew that she was more likely to live longer this way, even if it was a boring existence.

“Angel, life has been dangerous for me ever since I got the call as a Slayer. I didn’t have a strong Watcher like ‘B’ does. I didn’t have you behind me before. All that led to me being where I am now. You get me out, I promise I’ll go to work and we’ll do this. It sounds like a second chance for me to be the kind of Slayer that I should’ah been… like ‘B’ is, you know? Give me a chance to do some good for someone else like you’re doin’.”

“Okay. Whistler said he’d help get you out. We think we can get you paroled into the custody of Wesley and myself. Wes isn’t like you remember him, Faith. He’s gotten some actual experience and I think you’ll find him more of a Watcher than he ever was before.”

“Cool. We’ll go kick some demon butt, Angel. Just get me out of here.”

Angel pressed on hand against the glass that separated him from the brunette Slayer. She mirrored him with her hand on the other side of the glass. Even through it, he could feel her warmth. She wasn’t Buffy. She’d never be Buffy, but he could work with her without fear of losing his soul. He did care about her. She was too much like him for him to not care, but he didn’t love her. He admitted to himself that he just didn’t want to see her turn into what she’d been headed for before.

It took a couple of weeks but between all three of them; himself, Wesley and Whistler on the sidelines, Faith was released. She stayed at Angel’s place for now. After all, the hotel certainly had enough rooms. Then too, there was more than enough space for them to work out and train.

Occasionally Angel wondered what was happening with Buffy and Spike. Wondered if he really wanted to know…

~*~

During a long serious conversation Spike and Buffy had one evening, the vampire learned a good many things that Buffy was afraid of, or regretted she’d never be able to do. He’d almost laughed a couple of times when she confessed a fear of something he or most people might consider trivial, but one regret she mentioned started Spike thinking about a possible way to resolve that particular issue. So, Spike sent out word to contact Whistler. It took a while for Whistler to get back to him, but he finally appeared one night very unexpectedly.

Buffy nibbled her way up the line of Spike’s jaw, as his body covered the length of hers. He was doing his own nibbling down her neck, across her collarbone as her arms were wrapped around him, holding him close. It seemed like they couldn’t get enough of each other ever since that first night in her basement.

The couple lay on what was now their bed in the basement. Spike still had his jeans on, but the blonde Slayer in his arms had removed his shirt already. He’d disposed of her shirt as well but fortunately, or unfortunately, she was still clad in bra and jeans.

“Hey, Spike!” Said the very amused voice from behind them, startling them.

“Nice to see you two getting along.”

Both Slayer and Vampire came up from the bed prepared to fight. Whistler stood munching on a sandwich as he very matter-of-factly watched them.

“Don’t DO that!” Both blondes said to the demon.

”Oooo. A chorus. Now if you two can get the harmony right…” Whistler chuckled.

“How the ‘ell did you get in here?” Spike asked him, quite irritated that he and Buffy had been interrupted. Buffy had grabbed Spike’s tee shirt and quickly put it on. Seems most of her favorite clothes these days were his.

“Hey, you sent for me. What can I do for you, Spike? Nice to, ah, see you again, Slayer.”

A blush had crept up Buffy’s face. “Ever hear of knocking, Whistler? I hear it keeps you from getting pummeled.”

“Yeah, but this is more fun. So, what’ch’a need, Spike.”

“To talk to you. Give me a minute, okay?”

“Sure thing.” Whistler walked up the stairs to the kitchen to wait for the vampire.

“Spike, why is he here? Why did you send for him?”

“There’s no problem, luv. I just have some questions I need to ask. I may be gone for a little while, but I’ll be back. Just as soon as I can.”

“Spike? Is everything alright?”

He kissed her to sooth the worry he heard in her voice. “It’s fine, kitten. I just had a couple of questions about that prophecy. That’s all. Trying to find out a few details‘n such. No problem. I’ll be back in a bit, luv.”

“Be careful. I love you.” Buffy knew by the tone of Spike’s voice and what he didn’t say that he was concerned about something, but he didn’t want to disturb her with whatever it might be. She knew she should force him to tell her the truth, but she thought that since he’d gone to the effort of contacting Whistler, Spike was being cautious… for him. She’d leave the matter alone. At least until he got back.

“I love you too, Buffy.” Spike quickly kissed her before turning away to head up the stairs. He knew he was lucky she’d not pressed the issue, attempting to force him to explain what was happening. Then too, he knew that if he gave her more than just a quick kiss, he’d still be there when Whistler came back downstairs. She was intoxicating, was his Slayer and he never seemed to get enough of being with her.

Spike took the stairs two at a time, shrugging on his duster as he went. He jerked his head at the demon and they went out the back door. He didn’t really want Buffy knowing where he was going or why.

“I want to talk to the Powers That Be, Whistler.”

“I can’t do that, Spike.”

With movement like lightening, Spike reached out and grabbed the demon’s shirt, pulling him close while he let his face morph. “I can’t hurt humans, but I can hurt demons. I WANT to talk to the Powers That Be!”

“Okay, okay. But it’s on your head then.” Whistler almost flashed a smile, before he caught himself.

The blonde vampire turned the demon loose and followed him to a small grove of trees. Once inside the grove, Spike found himself suddenly in an antechamber.

Whistler spoke a few formal words and there was a blinding flash of light in front of them.

“Okay, they agreed to see you. Better make it good and better make it quick. Oh, take them a gift too.” He pushed a small stone into Spike’s hand.

Spike entered the light, feeling the same familiar dizziness and swirling sensation as when he’d entered the chamber of the Trial. Before him stood two odd beings. One male, one female. Their skin was swirled with blue and gold.

“You brave much vampire, to come here.” The male spoke to him

“Are you the Power’s That Be?” Spike asked them, unsure quite what to do now that he’d actually gotten here.

“We speak for them. You may talk freely with us. Did you bring an offering?” The female asked him as she advanced toward him.

Remembering the stone Whistler had pushed into his hand, Spike gave it to the female. He thought for a moment that it had been a plain rock when the demon pushed it into his hand, but the light in this chamber made it look completely different. “Uh, Yeah. I need to ask some questions about his prophecy.”

The female Oracle showed the glowing gem to her male counterpart, as she made sounds of appreciation. “Ask, Vampire. We will answer what we can.”

“Why does Buffy have to die? How long does she have? Why does she have to be Turned?”

Both oracles stood back and looked at him, something akin to curiosity on their faces.

“All lower beings eventually die. Why do you care, Vampire? Is that not what you had always wanted? For her to die, or to Turn her?”

Spike looked very uncomfortable. “I used to before I realized that I loved her. But Bloody ‘ell, it’s what vampires do…”

“Yet you do not feel that way now?”

“No. Like I said, I love her.”

“That is part of your answer. She has been able to have not only the Souled One love her, to give up his dream of being human again to protect her; but she has brought about the love of a true vampire, a demon with no soul. You willing gave your life for her at the Trial, not knowing you’d survive the ordeal.”

“I almost bloody didn’t survive if she’d not risked her life to give me her blood!” Spike fought not to snarl at the Oracle. He hadn’t cared too much if he’d died or not, as long as Buffy had gotten her sight back, but he’d been afraid that he’d failed her, or even worse, that he’d succeeded only to lose control and kill her accidentally when she’d offered her life’s blood to save him.

“Yet, she did and you did. The Trial and her blood changed you. She had to eventually recognize her love for you as well. Though she is by far the most stubborn Slayer we have ever seen.” The female Oracle knew what had to happen, yet a thread of amusement tinged her words that these beings often fought so hard to keep from doing what they had no choice but to do.

“Don’t I know that!” Spike said almost to himself.

“The spell her friends invoked, brought into her the essence of the first Slayer. Already she was the strongest and best of all the Slayers yet to live. With this added to her makeup, she is almost unbeatable. ALMOST, but not completely. She functions unlike any other. She has friends. She has the love of two vampires. She has qualities we’d not wish to lose. Therefore, when her time comes, we want her turned to retain those abilities. You will do that, for you love her. You will keep her under control until her soul can be restored. But before you ask, there will be no ‘happiness’ clause to her soul. It will be safe for her. As to your other question, it shall be some years before she will come to that point of her existence.”

The female oracle walked around Spike, looking him over. “Is there not some request you’d like for yourself, while you are here?” She knew he’d passed the Trial, knew he’d foregone his chance to have his chip removed, yet it interested her to tempt him once more…

“No, not really. But I would ask one more thing for Buffy…”

“I see what you wish for her. It shall be.” With that, the female oracle raised her hand and Spike was flung back through the portal, landing hard on the ground at Whistler’s feet.

“See you met the Oracles. They must have liked you. You’re still alive, or undead, or whatever you call it. We have to go now.” Whistler rose from the large rock he’d been sitting on while he passed the time waiting for Spike.

Whistler led the vampire around a corner and as suddenly as before, Spike was back in the grove of trees, close to Buffy’s house.

“Don’t think you can go back to see them again, Spike. Just ain’t done. Got it?”

“Yeah, Got it.”

And if he ‘got it’, as in his request for Buffy, Spike thought he’d have no need to consult the Oracles again.

~*~

Spike headed down the stairs to the basement. It was close to dawn even though it hadn’t seemed like he’d been gone that long. He hoped Buffy hadn’t been worried, but he was sure she had.

As he came around the corner of the basement steps, he was sure of it.

A hard foot caught him in the chest, slamming him against the wall.

“Where did you go? Do you know how long you’ve been gone? I was worried about you!” The Slayer’s eyes, blazed her fury and worry at him. He saw her getting ready to throw a punch at him. He quickly ducked to one side in order to catch her. What he caught was her elbow in his ribs.

“Give over, Slayer! I had no bleedin’ idea it had been that long! It was only a few minutes for me.” He ducked another punch.

“I went to see the Powers That Be. Stop soddin' hittin’ me!”

Buffy halted in mid punch.

* God, she’s so good! * Spike marveled again at her strength and grace all wrapped up in that tiny, beautiful body.

“The PTB’s? Why?”

“I had some questions about the prophecy, luv, like I told you. I know you’re afraid of being turned. I wanted to know why that was necessary. Not that I ever want to lose you, but turnin’ you… Well, it’s not something I want to do to you.”

She reached out with a hand to touch his face. “You were worried about that for me?”

“Yeah.”

“So what did they say?”

He took off his duster and sat her down beside him, telling her everything except for the last portion. The question he’d wanted to ask for her sake. Buffy leaned her head on his chest, putting her arms around him and pulling him close to her.

“Well, at least we don’t have to worry about it for several years, they said.

I know you’ve not had any rest tonight, and neither have I. Besides, we got interrupted earlier.”

“Kitten, did you patrol alone while I was gone tonight?”

“No, Spike. I did what you asked. I got Giles to go with me. Okay?”

“Just as long as you didn’t go alone.” He held the woman he loved by the arms where he could see her face. "I don’t care what the bleedin’ oracles or anyone else said. With Darla and Dru out there somewhere, I don’t want you to go anywhere alone. I don’t want you taking chances now either just cause we’ve been told the end of this is several years off. I didn’t find you now just to lose you!”

He pulled her close to him, feeling almost overwhelmed by his love for her, a Slayer! The scent of her filled his nostrils as he reveled in the texture of her hair against his cheek and his chest. He felt her burning warmth fill him up. That was so much a part of what he loved about her, he didn’t want to lose that when she had to be Turned, but he’d do anything to keep her from being taken from him. Spike pulled her closer, remembering she had to breathe even if he didn’t. How had he ever survived without her? She completed him in so many ways. He’d been powerless against her in one way or another since he first saw her.

With a raging erection from just those thoughts alone, he groaned deep in his throat as he leaned down to plunder her mouth with his own, seeking all the places in it, fighting her tongue with his. He slid her hands under the tee shirt she had on, one of his again. Her hands on his body were no less busy.

Clothes were quickly shed and his hard length was pressed against her as his cool body covered her burning one.

“Spike, I want you now. Please…”

He reached between them, dipping his fingers into her warmth. She was so hot and wet already. More than willing please her, he positioned his hard length at her opening and entered her completely with one thrust. She rose up to meet him and they fell into a hard rhythm. Almost immediately she cried out under him, gripping him tightly as she came, biting down on his shoulder, piercing the skin with her blunt teeth, licking at the wound she made in his flesh. Spike knew he wouldn’t last long with Buffy nibbling his neck. Spike felt the sensations overwhelming him and he bit into the curve of her neck, tasting the sweetness of her filling his mouth as he cried out into her flesh, filling her with his seed. She spasmed again under him, holding his mouth to her neck, her hand on his head.

He’d stopped drinking, but continued licking the twin punctures as they both calmed. Finally he drew back, letting his human face fall in place. The small wounds were already closing and once more he licked across the marks, savoring the last drops of her blood, purring into her neck as they clung to each other, sated for the moment.

“Spike…” she murmured next to his ear.

“Ummmmmm. Yes, luv.”

“Baby, your heart is beating.”

He raised his head a bit to look into her beautiful eyes, as he ‘reached’ inside himself and found what she’d already felt and heard. “W-what? How?”

She looked into the blue eyes she loved, drowning in their depths. “I don’t know, Spike, but we both know what we just heard and felt. It’s fading now. Could it be the little bits of my blood you take? And you feel warm, Spike, almost my temperature…”

“I don’t know, luv. If it happens again, we might want to ask your Watcher.”

In his mind he thought he KNEW what it really was. He certainly hoped so in his heart.

He rolled over on his side, still inside of her, holding her in his arms. She reached down to pull the cover over them both. He might not need it, but she would and her mother certainly didn’t want to see proof of what she already knew they were doing.

With a satisfied sigh, they drifted to sleep to the sounds of the radio quietly playing beside them.

‘I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.

I'll be your hope, I'll be your love be everything that you need.

I love you more with every breath truly madly deeply do..

I will be strong I will be faithful 'cos I'm counting on A new

beginning.

A reason for living. A deeper meaning.’

~*~

In L.A., Faith’s training was coming along well. She and Angel worked out every day and her strength and speed improved. She’d never be as fast as Buffy, but Angel knew he was faster and stronger than Spike, so both ‘teams’ made a good pair. Each one in the couple compensated for the strength and weakness of the other.

One afternoon after a grueling work out that left Faith pinned to the mat by Angel’s much larger body, as he looked down at her, he leaned just a bit further, kissing her. Surprised only for a second, she kissed him back hungrily. It had been a long time for both of them. One kiss turned into another as Faith wrapped her legs around Angel, pulling him into her.

“Faith…” He broke away from the kiss. “We shouldn’t..”

“Why not? You’re not gonna lose your soul with me. We both know you don’t love me. It’s cool. I’m not in love with you either. But we both have needs. Why not take care of them together?’

He knew she was right. Only Buffy could cause that perfect happiness in him. Only she could cost him his soul. And she was with Spike…

With that thought he leaned back down to capture Faith’s lips again before he pulled himself and Faith up from the mat as she clung to him and carried her upstairs.

~*~

Later as he nuzzled her neck, wanting her again, Faith turned her head, baring her neck to him. “Only during sex, Angel.”

He understood what she was telling him. He took her again, and as they both reached that peak and slid over, he bit down, tasting her blood. A rush of power slid through him and he filled her.

Minutes later Faith rolled Angel over, staying in his arms. “Angel. I felt your heart beating. What’s with that?”

“Slayer’s blood. Small amounts of it will do that to us. It goes away in a few minutes.”

“Feels kinda neat, ya know?” She snuggled back into his arms as she drifted off to sleep.

He held her warm body to him feeling affection, companionship, contentment, and guilt. Always guilt. For what he’d done, the lives he’d ended, that this woman wasn’t Buffy… Angel felt undeserving of the affection and trust Faith gave him, but was also very thankful for it. Finally, he too drifted into a more restful sleep than he’s known in a long time. The radio played softly next to them.

‘And now I find

The special kind

You yourself

Like sun through blinds

You lift me up

Get me out

Keep me walking

But never shout

It's o.k.

It goes this way

The line is thin

It twists away

Cuts you up

It throws about

Keep me walking

But never shout.’

~*~

It had been a month since Spike’s visit to the PTB’s. Buffy woke that afternoon with a headache, her mouth feeling like someone had dragged old gym socks through it and her stomach was definitely NOT her friend. She clapped her hand over her mouth and bolted up the stairs to the bathroom where she proceeded to be quite ill. Huddled there on the floor, her head resting on the cold porcelain, she felt a cool hand on the back of her neck.

“Luv, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“You mean other than trying to heave up my toenails? I’m fine, Spike. Must have been something I ate.”

He scooped her up from the floor, carrying her back downstairs to their bed.

“I’ll go make you a cuppa tea and get you some toast. Think you can keep that down, Luv?”

“I’ll try, Spike. Thank you.”

Spike headed up the stairs to get Buffy’s tea and toast. He was pretty sure what the problem really was and knew that this meant he could no longer postpone that trip to see her Watcher; the visit they’d talked about, but had never done even though his heart always beat for a few minutes after he took blood from Buffy during lovemaking. While not as warm as a human, his body temperature was never cold like it used to be any more. He knew her Watcher wasn’t going to be happy. He only hoped that Buffy would be when she found out. Spike tried not to think about the implications of his beating heart. He wanted Buffy to be happy, if the Oracles did what they hinted. Spike didn’t want to have a good case of ‘happy’ just in case Buffy wasn’t pleased about the possible outcome. He didn’t think he could endure being crushed like that.

Spike made HIS Slayer her tea, and toast. Heating a mug of blood for himself, he took the snacks downstairs to Buffy. She drank her tea, nibbled on her toast and told him she felt better. He only let her back out of bed then. They showered without the usual lovemaking, although the horseplay was there as always, with much soaping of bodies and kissing.

After getting dressed, they headed out to Giles’ shop.

Once there, they greeted everyone before Buffy headed to the training room in back to warm up while Spike waited to talk to her Watcher for a moment. Buffy looked at Spike suspiciously, knowing something was up. Well, she shrugged, whatever it was; she could just beat it out of him later if he didn’t tell her.

Spike told Giles about his visit to the PTB’s, about their asking him if he wanted anything and what they said, even though he’d not voiced his wish. He hesitantly told the Watcher about the blood during lovemaking and how it was for vampires and their partners, about his beating heart and Buffy’s sickness that morning.

Giles never said a word through all of it. He just looked at Spike before reaching up to take his glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did when disturbed. Giles put his glasses back on and looked at Spike…

“Do you bloody well realize you probably have gotten her PREGNANT!!!”

“Yeah. D’you think she’ll be upset with me?” Spike couldn’t keep the tremor out of his voice. He never wanted Buffy angry with him.

“Well, if she’s not, I damned well am!”

Before Giles could say another word, Anya interrupted and told him he had a phone call from L.A.. He gave Spike a scathing look then went to the phone. It was Wesley. Giles listened to the other Watcher, then sat down hard in the chair behind the counter.

“Wesley, old chap. I understand completely…”

“Oh yes, I can. I just got the exact same story from Spike. Might I call you back later? Yes, I assure you it is possible now and that is most likely the case. Get her to a doctor and find out. I’ll do the same here.”

Giles hung up the phone, glared at Spike. “It seems that Wesley has the same problem. Obviously the PTB’s aren’t playing favorites in this matter.”

“You mean Angel and the other Slayer…”

“That’s EXACTLY what I mean.”

“Well, bugger me…”

“Do NOT give me any more ideas right now, Spike. We’d best go speak with Buffy.”

~*~

The following weekend, Angel, Faith and Wesley drove up from L.A. to meet with Buffy, Spike and Giles.

Angel sat holding Faith’s hand, while Buffy held Spike’s hand. Wesley and Giles glared at both couples.

“Spike, I think you need to tell everybody a few details. NOW!”

Cringing only slightly, Spike explained again what he had been asked by the Oracles, about his thought that he’d never voiced and their comments. He’d managed to ‘explain’ to Buffy that her pregnancy was due to the shared blood, but hadn’t given her any specifics on the ‘how’. Surprisingly Giles had assisted him by keeping Buffy from pressing him for more information until Angel and Faith could be there too. Once she heard the full explanation, Buffy’s mouth simply fell open from amazement. Angel looked ready to punch his grandchilde. Faith glowered at the blonde vampire. Wesley sat down in shock, knees too weak to hold him upright.

“Spike, if you ever do anything like this again and not tell me, I’ll- I’ll… beat you to a pulp!” Buffy told her mate before she flung herself into his arms. “I love you!

How did you remember that this was something I’d wished for but thought I’d never have? I only mentioned it in passing in THAT conversation.”

“Because I KNOW you, luv. I heard how you sounded when you mentioned it. Besides, remember that book, the one with large print and lots of pictures?” He grinned at her.

“You mean I said THAT out loud too, that night? Damn, didn’t I keep anything to myself?!”

“Not much, luv, not much at all.”

“Spike, before I beat my favorite grandchilde into the ground, you want to tell me why WE got caught up in your little request??!!” Angel snarled at him as he stalked around the table. He didn’t really begrudge Spike, knowing that the irritating blonde was his favorite of his ‘offspring’, or ‘grand-offspring’ in this case… or at least not much. Especially since it seemed that Spike had inadvertently given Angel a chance to have a child of his own… something the older vampire knew would never happen for him otherwise.

“Sorry, old man. I guess the PTB’s didn’t want to play favorites. If one Slayer could, both got the chance to do so. But I don’t think it would have happened if it hadn’t been a vampire with the Slayers.” Spike tried to be reasonable and positive about the situation. He was worried his own ‘skin’ might otherwise be forfeit.

Faith approached Spike and Buffy from the opposite side as Angel. “You mean your wish for ‘B’ is what caused this for BOTH of us?”

“Ah, yeah. Seems that way, pet. That and what you and Angel obviously have been doin’… just like us…”

Faith rolled her eyes at him and walked over to Angel, who folded her into his arms and kissed the brunette Slayer gently.

Spike hugged Buffy closer and kissed her soundly. “I love you, Slayer”

She looked at him, everything she felt in her heart showing in her eyes. “I love you too, Vampire.” Spike kissed her again.

Giles turned to Wesley with a resigned sigh.

“Welcome to the club for wayward Slayers, Wesley. Seems we BOTH have to figure out how to deal with a pregnant Slayer and their expectant vampire mate.”

Wesley just stared for a moment.

“Lord, the mood swings alone may be the death of all of us.”

‘Will there come a day

when you and I can say

we can finally see each other?

Will there come a time

We can find the time

To reach out for one another?

We been traveling in circles for such

A long, long time, trying to say hello

And we can just let it ride

But you’re someone that

I’d like to get to know

I’ll meet you half-way,

That’s better than no way,

There must be some way

To get it together

And if there’s some way,

I know that some day

We just might work it out

Forever.’

Gillian Silverlight (Originally written 2/6/01 –

Revised 12/28/03)