Title: Heroes And Villains

Author: Gillian Silverlight

Distribution: My site, those that already have permission to post my fic, all others please ask. (If you post my fic. Please do not rearrange the sentence groupings. It can alter the flow of the story. Thanks.)

Disclaimer: They belong to Joss and the WB, UPN, just about everybody except me. I just play with them.

Summary: Post ‘Smashed’ – THAT scene and Spike’s thoughts.

Rating: NC-17 (Hey, it’s kinda gotta be ‘cause of the scene on the episode!)

Lyrics: ’Hero’ by Enrique Iglesias

Heroes And Villains

‘Would you dance

If I asked you to dance?’

Buffy shoved Spike up against the wall, and continued to kiss him. He picked her up pulling her against him as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

She shoved her hand between their bodies and grasped the zipper of Spike’s jeans, wrenching it down and allowing the hard shaft that had been pressed against her to spring free. With a second quick movement she grabbed the edge of her skirt, pulling it out of the way as she lowered herself onto him and started to move against him.

As he felt her engulf him, scorching him, Spike looked into her face with something akin to shock on his face. It was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg to the confusion roiling in his mind at her action.

* Oh God! She did it! I’m inside of her! She’s everything I ever imagined she’d be… *

Spike chanced caressing her breast through her shirt with one hand. She didn’t pull away from him but arched her body closer to him, moving against him all the while.

* I’ve wanted her so bloody long.. don’t let it be over so bleedin’ quick! *

Spike mentally clamped down on his rising excitement; the tightening that signaled his own release was close.

* Probably tell me it was a mistake afterwards. Run out and pretend it never happened like she’s been doing…*

The thoughts were enough to allow Spike to wrest control of his body again as Buffy clutched him even closer.

‘ Would you run

And never look back?’

* Know she’s got no idea what this is doing to me.. How tha’ hell can I ever go back to not havin’ her after this? Will she even talk to me later or just try’n stake me? *

Spike buried his head into the Slayer’s chest, inhaling the sweet fragrance of her. She always smelled faintly of vanilla but now the additional scents of sweat, plaster, the muskiness of sex and underneath it all the slight tang of fear added to make an exotic mixture.

* She’s still afraid.. Doesn’t she know I’d never hurt her like that? *

Spike felt the threat of tears tickle the backs of his eyes. He closed them tightly as he took a deep un-needed breath of her body, felt her against him, around him, through him…

‘Would you cry

If you saw me cryin'

Would you save my soul tonight?’

* Buffy, Buffy.. I love you. I shouldn’t, but I do. Hated you and all it did was turn to love. Won’t tell you, but I need you, love. If you knew what I tried to do.. but it’s who I AM! Or who I was.. was before they ‘chipped’ me, before you ripped my unbeating heart out and made it yours.

Love you.. need you..*

The words echoed like a chant through his head in time to the motion of their bodies together.

Buffy suddenly leaned forward toward Spike, causing them to fall backwards. She clung to him with every ounce of Slayer strength in her arms and legs, holding him inside of her as she continued to push against him.

Spike felt his back hit the floor, felt Buffy’s weight still around and on him as the floor collapsed beneath them.

* God, hope none of this crap ‘stakes’ me. ‘d go a happy bloke though. Finally got to feel her, love her even if she doesn’t love me yet.*

The blonde pair, vampire and Slayer, hit the basement floor without a lost movement.

The mantra continued in Spike’s thoughts. * Love you, need you..*

As he felt his control abandon him abruptly, Buffy’s own muscles gripped him like a fist and she screamed his name into the ruined building, bringing more debris down on them.

*Oh, god, oh god, ohgodohgodohgod! Save me, Buffy! Save me..* “Bufffffffyy!”

*************************************************************

‘Would you tremble

If I touched your lips?

Would you laugh?’

Spike woke from a slight doze to find the small blonde asleep on his chest, her legs still along the sides of his legs, her arms around his neck so tightly even as she slept that had he been alive, she’d have killed him.

He carefully turned his head to one side, looking at as much of her face as he could see from this angle.

* So what happens when you wake up, love? Threats again? Gonna run away and leave me here? Gonna just laugh at me? Tha’ sick twisted vampire fallen in love with tha’ Slayer. Not even a soul to blame for this one, love. *

Spike twisted his head slightly further so he could lay a gentle kiss on her forehead. The movement aroused her from sleep and she looked up into Spike’s eyes.

He saw her own need, her own desire, her own fears reflected back at him. A single tear trailed unheeded down her cheek while she looked at him, just before raising up on her forearms to move up his body so she could tenderly kiss his lips again.

In just moments the kiss deepened and she began to tremble against him.

Spike wrapped his arms closer around her, pulling her to him and returning the kiss with all the love he had been hiding inside for so long.

‘Oh please tell me this.

Now would you die

For the one you love?

Hold me in your arms tonight.’

* Buffy, Buffy… How can I love you this much. *

The words he’d said to her months before sprang unbidden into his thoughts.

‘Right person. Person I loved.. I'd do it.’ 
He remembered he’d looked at Buffy when he’d told her he’d die for her.
* She’d been willin’ to die for the poof when she let him drink her to save his life.. she gave her life for ‘Bit.. Will she ever feel that way about me? Can I ever be worth that kinda love from her? *
 
Spike tried to blank his mind as they continued to kiss. Buffy tugged at his shirt, then jeans.
Kissing and clutching at each other, they undressed each other.
 

****************************************

‘ I can be your hero, baby.

I can kiss away the pain.

I will stand by you forever.

You can take my breath away.’

Spike woke again before she did. They had both lasted much longer this time. So long that he thought for a few painful seconds that he was going to burst into flame from the heat of her body, their movements against each other, the intensity of his emotions.

He wanted to hold her, love her, have her next to him when he woke, be there whenever she woke for the rest of forever.

Spike knew how strong Buffy was, how much she’d endured already and he wanted to protect her, shelter her. He saw the pain in her eyes and in the movements of her body almost constantly since the witch had brought her back. He just wanted to take that pain away, to wipe the worry from her eyes.

* Will she ever let me? Will I ever be anything more to her than someone to beat on?*

‘Would you swear

That you'll always be mine?’

Buffy shifted in his arms, tightening her own arms around him. He heard as well as felt his ribs creak from her strength.

*Good thing ‘m not that soddin’ ‘Capt’in Cardboard’. Be more bruised than I am now if I lived through it. She’s had to ‘old it all in since tha’ one time with tha’ Poof. *

The thought left a bitter feel in the back of his mind. Once again his Sire had gotten first to somewhere he wanted to be….

* Not that I wanted to then.. But now.. Naw, she didn’t have to ‘old back with ‘im. Didn’t know enough to know ‘ow then. Prolly ‘gentle’ and ‘lovin’ with her. *

Spike’s eyes looked around the room at the damage surrounding them, the debris in piles and dangling from what used to be a floor that was now a ceiling above them.

*Gentle.. Right! *

Buffy stirred again and Spike moved at once to fit his body to hers as he helped her into a more comfortable position.

She looked at him with eyes drowsy from sex and fatigue then tucked her head back into the curve of his neck, murmuring to him as one hand reached up to stroke his cheek, lingering over the hard curve of the prominent cheekbone.

Spike couldn’t believe his ears, but he was more than willing to comply with her request. The words echoed in his head as his tongue stroked the inside of her mouth.

‘ Spike, kiss me. Feels so good… More, want you more..’

‘ Would you lie?

Would you run and hide?

Have I gone to deep?

Have I lost my mind?

Well, I don't care, you're here tonight.’

* Might be the only time I get to be with her like this.. Gotta make the most of it. Maybe she’s tellin’ the truth.. Maybe she’s admitted what’s between us…*

Spike rolled her over and his hands ran a cool line of pressure down her body where he stroked her while he felt the wet heat of her enclose him again.

*Yeah, and maybe it’ll rain shillin’s and she won’t stake me when mornin’ comes…. *

***************************************************************

The room lightened as the sun rose outside and Buffy stirred from sleep.

She realized that she’s undressed and sleeping with Spike. The memory of the night flashed through her mind with fear close on it’s heels.

Spike rolled over in time to see the emotions warring across the Slayer’s face and realized his fears from a few hours before were right. He braced himself to be the usual smirking vampire Buffy knows and sometimes loathes….

**********

Buffy looked at the blonde vampire standing naked in front of her and threw the most hurtful words at him she could think of at the moment. ‘You're just convenient.’

The hurt he couldn’t control made it to his face, for Buffy and the world to see. He needed to get his feelings back under control so Spike just stood there and put his jeans back on as a distraction.

The pain from her words, from his carelessly said thought, throbbed in his chest like a wound. He easily pulled up the anger that was so convenient to cover his feelings as he turned back to her.

“ So, what now? You go back to treating me like dirt till the next time you get an itch you can't scratch? Well, forget it. Last night changed things. I'm done being your whipping boy.”

“Nothing's changed. It was a mistake.”

“Bollocks! It was a bloody revelation.”

* I know now how much you mean to me, how much I want you.. need you, Slayer. I saw things in your eyes, felt them in your touch and your movements. I heard the words you whispered, not meaning me to hear… I know how much you care; how much you’re afraid. I know….. I know…… *

His mouth and his anger kept saying things that tried to keep the tide of his thoughts at bay.

* I know I can take the pain away for you, love. I could protect you if you’d just let me. I’m a bad vampire, bein’ chipped and all; but I’m a good man. I could be your… *

‘ I can be your hero baby.

I can kiss away the pain.

I will stand by you forever.

You can't take my breath away’

He threw her panties back at her just before she punched him knocking him to the floor then stormed out.

Spike rose up on one elbow and watched her leave as he rubbed his aching jaw, knowing he’d have yet one more bruise.

* ……..hero. *

Gillian Silverlight 01/01/2002