I Shall
Cry
Author:
Titti
E-mail:
titti_adriano@hotmail.com
Ships:
Buffy and Spike
Rating:
PG
Disclaimer:
We all know that I don't own them, but we have to thank Joss,
Fox,
The WB and now UPN and who knows who else.
Summary:
After "Goodbye My Love", Spike becomes Buffy's eyes and ears at her
funeral.
Feedback:
I want it, I need it.
Spoilers:
Up till season finale for season 5
Archives:
I would be honored, just let me know.
The
lyrics are my own translation of "Io Vivro'" an Italian song written
by
Mogol/Battisti.
_________________________________________
Io
vivro'
I shall live
senza
te
without you
anche
se ancora non so even if I
still don't know
come
vivro'.
how I shall live.
Senza
te,
Without you,
io
senza te
I, without you,
solo
continuero',
shall live alone,
io dormiro', I shall
sleep,
mi
svegliero',
I shall wake up,
camminero', I shall walk
lavorero', I shall
work,
qualche
cosa faro', I shall do something,
qualche
cosa faro', I shall
do something,
si,
qualche cosa faro' yes,
I shall do something,
qualche
cosa di sicuro io faro': I shall do
something for sure:
piangero' I shall cry,
io
piangero'.
I shall cry.
__________________________________________________
Pet, don't be afraid. I know it's dark but we are all here. All your
friends,
your sister and I, we are all here. You
would get a kick out of
this
funeral. We are here in the middle of
the night to put you to rest.
Everyone
thought that the night would be the appropriate time, you lived at
night
after all. You should see how many people,
demons and vampires are
here. My slayer till the end. Only you could get vampires to come to a
funeral. They all respect you, they know what you
did, they know how much
you
sacrificed for Sunnyhell and the world in general. I know you can't
really
see us so I am just going to tell you what it's happening.
Dawn is wearing this beautiful blue
dress. She wanted to wear black
but I
told her that her sister would want to see color around her. I know
I'm
right. You had too much blackness in
life. Dawn told me what you told
her
before jumping and I promise you that I will help your friends follow
your
wishes, I will help them live the life of love that we never had a
chance
to live. Willow and Tara are standing
close together. You know Red
is so
ready to cry but she is staying strong for Dawn. She has brought wild
flowers
to put on your grave. She told me that
they remind her of your
independence. She will miss you so much, I know because I
will miss you
too.
Anya and Xander are holding hands. Even Anya is speechless for once. I
didn't
think that our favorite former demon could shut up for more than 5
minutes. I guess she is like me, must
be our demon side. They got engaged,
you know. They aren't telling anybody because
of you but I'll change their minds.
I'll make sure they move on even without you. I know that you would be happy to see them get married. I remember the boy when I arrived in
Sunnyhell all those years ago, he would follow you like a puppy dog. I was so pathetic. That's funny, I guess things never change. Now I am the pathetic
one. I am so sorry for all the misery I put you through. I didn't want to scare, I am just so in love
with you.
Oh well, this is not about me. I want you to know what is happening
here. I want to be your eyes and ears. I should tell you that the Peaches
is here
too. He came from LA with the former
Beauty Queen. I am not happy
about
that. You are my love and I hope that I was your. I don't want Angel
here,
but I think you would be happy to know that he still cares for you.
He is
standing in a corner, I think I see tears running on his face. It's
midnight,
the moon is out and he is still standing in the shadows as if the
sun
would burn in at any moment. I guess
he'll never stop lurking. Enough
about
Angel, I know you would like to know more but I just don't like the
guy. I think I am jealous, you can't blame me
though, he has made my unlife
quiet
unbearable at times. Cordelia is
obviously been crying for a while.
Her
eyes are red and puffy. You wouldn't
recognize her. She is wearing
jeans
and a t-shirt, she really must have changed.
Oz is here too. He is pretty impassible.
Red tells me that that's him,
stone
faced in front of any situation. She
may be right but I can smell his
emotions. I have to admit he is good. I have never been such a good
actor. I wish that I could be so stoic in front of
all this people but I
can't. After tonight, all the demons and vampires
will know what a nancyboy
I
am. I am so totally whipped and I don't
even have a soul. I guess my
grandsire
rubbed off on me.
Giles is the one who is hurting the
most. He is sitting next to your
other
watcher, what's his name, Wesley, I think.
The two Englishmen looked
shocked. What's more surprising is that the old
English reserve is gone.
Giles
is crying so much that he doesn't even pretend anymore. He was
talking
about quitting the council, but I will convince him to stay. He is
too
invaluable in the fight against evil.
He really loves you like a
father. I can see the love in his eyes. I won't let him quit on you
because
of his grief. I know that your friends
need his help to keep things
quiet
on Hellmouth.
I hope I am not forgetting anybody. I don't think so. I told you about
all the
demons and vampires. I am sure it's not
love on their part but they
do
respect you. Oh, you want to know about
me. Well pet, I really don't
know
what to tell you. I will do as you
asked. I shall help your friends,
I shall
protect your sister and I shall not wait for the sun to dust me. I
can't
promise you for much more. I feed, I
fight, I sleep. If I move
enough,
I forget for a few precious moments that you are not by my side. I
know I
sound like a fool, but love turned me into a bigger poof than Angel.
So in
the end I shall live without you, even if I still don't know how I
shall
live. Without you, I, without you,
shall live alone, I shall
sleep,
I shall wake up, I shall walk, I shall work, I shall do something, I
shall
do something, yes, I shall do something, I shall do something for
sure: I
shall cry, I shall cry.