Title: Wicked Games
Author: Gillian Silverlight
Distribution: My website www.homestead.com/gilliansspikelair ; other please ask
Disclaimer: They belong to Joss and the WB, I just play with them.
Summary: (SheGiles07 issued a challenge to use the lyrics of the song Wicked Game by Chris Isaac in a song) Spike is trying to get a message across to Buffy and gets help from an unexpected source as well.
Rating: G
“Hello”
“Yeah, I have a problem. I was kinda hoping you might have an idea how to fix it.”
“So, tell me about it.”
“I finally realized it a couple of months ago, but it really started the first time I saw…….”
*******************************************
“Buffy, we’re gonna go over to the bronze for Amateur night. It’s usually pretty funny. Why don’t you come with us? It will do you good to finally get out of the house.”
Willow was trying to convince Buffy to go with her and Tara to the Bronze that night. Anya and Xander were going. It would be good for Buffy and Dawn both to get out.
“Is Giles gonna go sing again?”
“I don’t think so, but you never know with him. He kinda gets these urges occasionally.”
“Well…”
“Com’on Buffy. Please?”
“Well… Ok, Wil. How about Dawn and I meet you there about 8ish?”
“Alright. Eight-ish it is then. Well save you a spot.”
***************************************
“Bronze. How can we help you?”
“Hi, I need a favor from you, Ernie.”
“Sure, what’ch’a need me to do?”
***************************************
Amateur night at the Bronze was often fun for everybody. The ‘contestants’ would often get a bit drunk before trying to sing, which was a boost for the bar, the cab companies and was often good for a few laughs. The people singing sometimes reminded the crowd of one of those really bad jeans commercials they would see on TV occasionally.
Every once in a while though, someone would be a surprise and could actually sing. Or they’d have their own instruments and not need the live back up band or might even want the live backup singers. It was a good thing for the management that several of the wait-staff could actually sing, cause they were the back-ups or could entertain the crowd if there was a long wait between ‘singers’.
Buffy joined the gang about 8 that night. She’d been a bit later than she had thought, because Dawn had decided at the last minute to stay at Giles’ house. Giles wasn’t singing tonight so Dawn wanted to hang out with him for a bit and play Monopoly.
Buffy had been pretty down lately with everything that had happened, and decided to splurge just once and have a single glass of wine. Willow and Xander looked at her with that usual ‘What-do-you-think-you-are-doing?’ look, but she was ignoring that. She was also sure one of them would tell Giles tomorrow but in this case she was sure Giles would understand one glass of wine.
There had been the usual strange bunch of songs sung by an equally strange bunch of people this evening.
Buffy kept getting the odd feeling that there was a vampire nearby, but she never could see any so she stayed where she was. It had been pretty quiet recently and that was always good.
The Band had finally taken a break for a few minutes and when they came back, they had a couple of back-up singers with them.
* Umm. Someone must be planning to do something other than the usual drunken bellowing. *
Buffy watched with interest. It was normally only the folks that actually knew how to sing that got back-ups.
As she watched, a figure she knew walked out on that stage.
* What is that idiot vampire doing now? *
“Buffy.. That’s Spike!” Willow whispered quite loudly in her ear.
“Yeah, Will, I noticed that right off.. I think it was the hair that gave it away.” Buffy sighed. Maybe it was time to go after all…
“Buffy, wait. He might actually be good.” Tara urged the blonde slayer.
“Well ok.. Maybe he’ll just make an idiot out of himself like usual and I’ll get a laugh out of it.”
Buffy sat back in her chair and waited.
The band started up, the back-up singers were ready to go.. Spike started to sing…
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I'd never dream that I'd meet somebody like you
And I'd never dream that I'd loose somebody like you’
Spike looked right at her. Buffy thought about the burning organ she had dropped on him a couple of years back, the night she had that tampered-with-beer and still had to save Willow and others from the burning frat house… Thoughts poured through her head. This wasn’t like what she expected Spike to sing.. She thought it’d be some punk rock stuff like he usually listened to…
“Buffy, he’s pretty good!” Willow whispered at a more normal whisper tone.
“Yeah, I guess…” Buffy went back to her thoughts.
‘No I don't want to fall in love (This girl is only gonna
break your heart)
No I don't want to fall in love (This girl is only gonna
break your heart)
With you... with you (This girl is only gonna break your heart)’
* Ah, the reason for the back-up singers.. *
Buffy was starting to squirm in her chair a bit.. This was a little to close to home.
* He’s not watching me now, though. Maybe it’s ok. *
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you’
Spike looked directly in Buffy’s eyes. He caught them with his own, she couldn’t look away.
She knew this song was for her. He was trying to tell her again how he felt.
* But I had no control over his dreams! And I don’t feel this way, I mean.. That way. But then why do I feel bad? Why does this song hurt? *
‘No I don't want to fall in love (This girl is only gonna
break your heart)
No I don't want to fall in love (This girl is only gonna
break your heart)
With you
World was on fire and no one could save me but you
Strange what desire will make foolish people do
I'd never dream that I'd love somebody like you
And I'd never dream that I'd loose somebody like you’
* It’s not fair. I can’t help how he feels. But… I felt like that when Angel left me. I felt like that when Parker used me. They say love makes you do the wacky… A vampire singing to me in the middle of the Bronze is certainly WACKY! *
‘No I don't want to fall in love (This girl is only gonna
break your heart)
No I don't want to fall in love (This girl is only gonna
break your heart)
With you (This girl is only gonna break your
heart)
With you
(This girl is
only gonna break your heart)
No I... (This girl is only gonna break
your heart)
(This girl is only gonna
break your heart)
Nobody loves no one’
Spike finished the song, turned and thanked his back-up singers, as the crowd applauded for him. Then he left the stage, heading toward the stairs up to the catwalk.
* He really did sing well. Funny how the accent kinda disappeared when he sang. Almost like he was a different person. *
The next singer came up. They had chosen a recent song, but it fit too closely to the feelings raging in the Slayer. Feeling that she KNEW what Spike was thinking, Buffy had to get out for a breath of air.
‘ I wait in the darkness.
Frozen winds
surround my face.
In the cover of
darkness I can make believe it's you.
I feel you like
the rain,
I feel you like
a storm cloud building in my heart.
I wonder if you
know the pain, to want the one thing you haven't got.
Just a twist in
time ...and you could be mine
Just a sip of
wine ...and you could be mine
Just a kiss
devine’
She wasn’t sure she wanted to go outside, but she needed some space. Buffy got up from the table.
“I need to get a breather. Back in a few.”
She headed up the steps to the catwalk. She’d not seen Spike go that way since she’d been lost in her own thoughts.
Spike was at the far end of the walk, watching Buffy. He saw her leave the table and head up the stairs. He didn’t think for a minute that she had come to talk to him, so he stayed where he was. He had a drink and his pain to keep him company.
What did he need the Slayer for other than to make him feel worse?
On the catwalk, Buffy glanced hurriedly and missed Spike in the shadow at the far end. Thinking she was alone, she began to pace back and forth.
That song had finally ended; she hoped she could think again.
* What am I gonna do? Why do I feel like this? Is it just because Mom is gone? *
Buffy paced, without finding any answers.
Spike stayed in the shadows watching the Slayer. She seemed pretty upset. He just wanted her to think, he hadn’t wanted her to get distraught. He started to go to her and tell her.. something. He didn’t know what he’d say to her, but he had to get her off the hook.
Below her (them actually, unbeknownst to Buffy) Anya had decided to sing. Xander and Willow were shocked! Tara just took it in stride like she seemed to do with almost everything else.
Anya had seen Spike go up the steps. She’d talked with him earlier in the week and knew how he was feeling. Having been a demon as long as she had been, she felt she was a fairly good judge of demonhood. She might be horrible at being a human, but she knew demons. He was in pain.
So here she was about to embarrass herself and sing to try and help him out. Besides, if Buffy was happier maybe Xander wouldn’t be worrying so much about her.
So Anya sang. She thought it was a pretty song and seemed to fit what she wished she could tell Buffy.
‘Go
ahead and cry now
Just
give in to the madness
The
only way to feel your joy
Go
ahead and sail now
Just
give in to the ocean
The
only way to tame your fear
Is to feel her rocky motion
You're a long way from somewhere you call home
There's a place in your heart you're not alone
All
of the happiness you seek
All
of the joy for which you pray
Is closer than you think
It's
just a 100 tears away
Go
ahead and listen
Just
give into the voices
You
think you're backed into a corner
But
you've got so many choices
You can't
save all the hungry
The
lonely or the dying
Sometimes we just want to give up,
but fools like us keep trying
You're a long way from some place you feel safe
Peace
of mine comes from just one place
All
of the happiness you seek
All
of the joy for which you pray
Is
closer than you think
Is
just a 100 tears away
Whatever it is that'll make you feel good
And if you want it you know that you could
You can have it all, baby
You're a long way from some where you call
home
There's a place in your heart you're not
alone
All
of the happiness you seek
All
of the joy for which you pray
Is closer than you think
Is
just a 100 tears...
All of the happiness you seek
All
of the joy for which you pray
Is
closer than you think
Buffy heard the song. Loud and clear.
* Why was Anya doing this? *
Spike walked slowly toward Buffy from the shadows at the far end of the catwalk. Buffy thought she understood Anya a bit more now. She was trying to help Spike or help her, or..
* God, I can’t even think! *
“Buffy…”
“Spike, not now. Please. I can’t take any more.”
She turned away from him, but made no move to leave.
“ I’m sorry, Buffy. I was coming to tell you not to worry about what I sang. I just wanted to tell you how I felt, luv. I didn’t mean to get you so upset. I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t you, Spike, or not just you… Its been everything.. Mom and before, and .. It’s just been too much..’ She stood there just hugging herself, head down, tears flowing down her face.
Spike couldn’t see the tears, but he knew she was hurting. His pain was second to hers; it always had been and always would be. He took the last steps to her and carefully put his hands on her shoulders.
“Buffy, let me help. No strings, luv. Just let me help you.”
“Spike.. I don’t know what would help. Mom’s gone, I’ve got college and slaying and bills and I need to make a living and be a parent to Dawn. I feel pulled a 100 ways and there isn’t enough of me for this.”
“Buffy, I can help if you’ll let me. Please, let me help you.”
“What can you do, Spike? You can’t make any of it go away.” She cried harder, her back still to him.
“Yes I can, if you’ll let me.”
He turned her slowly toward him, pulling her to his chest. She kept her arms wrapped around herself but leaned her head on his chest as she cried.
“I can watch the Nibblet for you when you are at school or training. I can help you protect her from Glory, or at least get her out of the house. After Dru was here and found out I wouldn’t come back to her, she finally sent me my money or at least most of it. A bloke can save a lot in a hundred years. Good investments help, ya know.”
“I could stay there, in the basement, you’d not have to see me much. I’d pay you rent. I CAN cook. Please let me help you.”
Buffy looked up at him with reddened eyes and a tear-stained face. She hadn’t told anyone how bad it really was and she was desperate for help. Here was Spike of all people offering the thing that she needed and couldn’t really afford to turn down.. But it was SPIKE!
“Why, Spike? Why would you do that for me? I was horrible to you. I know I was..
“Anya reminded me tonight of when Angel left, of what you might actually be feeling too.. What was that line? ‘I wonder if you know the pain, to want the one thing you haven't got.’ Yeah, I DO know what that’s like. I felt it when I sent him to Hell. I felt it when he left. I felt it when I found Mom. I feel it every day to know I can’t have a normal life, to grow old and have kids, to have to slay and save the world all the time. I DO know.”
They just looked at each other as she still hugged herself, as he still held her loosely.
She unwrapped her hands from around herself. They were stiff from tension. She put her hands on his chest.
* It was a nice chest. Hard, muscular, cool. * She looked at her hands on his chest. It didn’t feel too weird.
Buffy took a deep breath and made a decision. *I just KNOW I’m gonna regret this! *
“Ok. I’ll rent you the basement. You’ve been good at watching out for Dawn so far. But it doesn’t mean that you get me in the process.”
“Luv, I won’t lie to you. I still feel the same. But if you don’t want me.. Well, I won’t force you. I’m not into rape. All I can do is hope you’ll see the difference in me one day.”
“O-ok… then. So when do we move you in? Are you up for tonight? I desperately need some sleep. If you’re there maybe I can sleep with both ears closed for once.”
“Yeah, I can do that. My car is outside. Wanna help me get the few things I have and I’ll drive you home?”
“Ok. There is a folding bed in the basement. Will that work until you can get another one?”
“Slayer, I’ve been sleeping on a piece of granite until now. What do you think?”
“Oh, yeah. I forgot. My bad. Told you I was tired.”
“Let’s go then.” He took her arm and led her carefully down the stairs. Buffy stopped to tell the gang she was leaving. Xander started to say something when Anya yanked him back down into his chair and glared at him.
“Not a word Xan. This is my decision. I’ll explain about the room I’m RENTING tomorrow.”
Buffy reached over to hug Anya, surprising all of them, especially Anya. Very quietly she told the ex-demon, “Thanks, Anh.”
Anya just looked at Buffy and squeezed her hand.
Buffy and Spike turned and walked out. They picked up his things and made it to her house. She’d call Giles and let him know she was home and ask if Dawn could stay there for the night. She didn’t want to have to answer questions tonight. She was so tired and just wanted to sleep.
They took Spike’s stuff downstairs. She rolled her head and kneaded her own shoulders.
“Tight?”
“Yeah, like rocks.”
“Go get ready for bed, luv. I’ll come massage them. No tricks, no games.”
Buffy looked at Spike, searching his face for any sign of a trick. Seeing nothing, she agreed.
“Give me five minutes.” She headed up the stairs.
Exactly five minutes later, Spike knocked on the door to her already open room.
“Come on in Spike. I’ve got a bottle of lotion on the night table if you’d like.”
She’d put on a pair of sweats and a camisole top. She was in bed, covers pulled up to her hips as she lay on her stomach.
Spike got the lotion and put a bit on his hands, rubbing them together. He had sat on the edge of the bed.
Gently but firmly, he kneaded Buffy’s shoulders. She groaned a bit to start with but told him to keep it up when he started to slack off. Within a couple of minutes she was asleep. He continued to massage her shoulders until he felt the muscles relax finally.
Spike turned off her light and pulled the cover up on her, and kissed her hair. He gently closed the door as he left her room and went back down stairs.
* Well, I’m back in the house. I can make myself useful, get to touch her when I can and maybe she’d finally see how much I care and let me into her heart as well. A bloke’s gotta try. *
With more spring in his step since the night he finally told her his feelings, Spike went downstairs to the basement to sleep.
Gillian Silverlight 3/12/01